A white kid from Savannah's guide to Atlanta.

Sauers didn't have much input in this guide, but I know he's thinking about you -- not in a creepy way... well I guess it is possible.

We're all going to miss you Shane. You're probably going to be pretty overloaded with work for much of your time in Atlanta, but every once in a while remember to step back, take a deep breath, and enjoy yourself. Of course, don't take too deep of breath due to the smog, but you get me.



We can start south and work our way up to the fancy/boring parts of north Atlanta.

Shane, I'm going to be honest with you... the only time you should be in south Atlanta is when your heading Savannah to Atlanta on I75/85 or vice versa. That's right, unless Turner Field is your destinations, keep driving, well, unless you develop a pretty nasty crack habit -- not advised. There's no place in that area for tender-hearts like us. 

Downtown Atlanta is full of interesting people downtown. Underground Atlanta is cool if you ever need anything monogrammed or just wanna purchase some oversized white T's. We'll talk about some bars in a minute, but maybe the 2nd most entertaining place in all of Atlanta is Five Points. If you like lots of yelling, weird smells, aggressive pigeons, and trains then that's your stop. In all seriousness, I love sandwiches. And, the best place with the best sandwich is downtown at Reuben's Deli.

Midtown, Atlanta, where I lived and managed not to turn gay or into a Tech fan. I think I i was able to manage that much in part to not sticking around this area. Here's a few places are definitely worth it:

- Fox Bros. BBQ -- You've already been there but go again. Best Bloody Mary ever
- the Vortex -- Might be the strangest place to eat but the hamburgers are badass
- The Clermont Lounge - Where else can you see a mother/daughter stripper duo?

I go for the $1 PBR; I stay for the 60 year old strippers.

- Little Five Points -- free culture awaits

- Blind Willie's and Neighbors in the Virginia Highlands -- maybe the most normal bars in the area

Now for your area. Buckhead, which by your own admission, is where you probably stick around, and I can't blame you there. You can go ballin' at Phipps or Lenox Square, but remember where you came from. The Savannah Mall with their Dillard's, Target, and Bass Pro Shop did the best they could. There are probably close to 100+ bars and clubs in that area, and I've been drunk every time I've gone to any of them. My point: I can't really help you there.The Sweetwater Brewery is close by, so go there if the line at the Havana Club is too long.

Hey(!!!), if all else fails, you can go to Stone Mountain for a laser light show, but make sure you stop by Francoeur's parents' house after to TP it. And, you never know, the AFL might have saved up enough money from the 2011 season to afford another season of Georgia Force football in Gwinnett come 2012.

Joey: "Bro, one day we're like gonna tell stories about how we used to live downtown." Shane: "Yeaaaa."

Best Sunday Ever!

It doesn't matter if the Braves wear those goofy red jerseys today; no, it won't bother me a bit. GM Frank Wren some how pulled of another trade that should be leaving the other party and their fans scratching their heads. Just a little while ago, GMFW and the Braves acquired Michael Bourn -- one of the best lead-off hitters and THE BEST CF'er in baseball -- for 3 pitching prospects (none of them being Teheran, Minor, Vizcaino, or Delgado) and Jordan Schafer.

The Braves didn't have to give up any of their top young pitchers pitchers, which is exactly what they would have had to do to get Hunter Pence or Carlos Beltran. Victory. Schafer has had way to many opportunities to put it all together, but simply put: He can't hit.

Bourn is a good hitter and a true lead-off guy; something the Braves haven't had since Rafael Furcal. He is far and away the best CF'er they have had since Andruw Jones.

I just can't seem to wipe this smile off my face!

Bourn: "I"m fuckin' psyched to be a Brave, dog! Where the bitches with the titties?"

Here's some good news.

Here's some more good news.

Braves Blog

So all things considered, the Braves made it to the All Star Break in really good shape. 

Five great things:

- Johnny Venters and Craig Kimbrel are the best LH/RH combo coming out of the bullpen in the 8th and 9th. Period.

- Freddie Freeman is a freak. He's way out-performed any sort of expectations anyone could have had for him to this point.

- Hanson/Jurrjens/Hudson/Beachy -- I would put these 4 starting pitchers up against any lineup in baseball.

- Winning despite injuries and horrendous slumps. This might be the sign of a really good team or really good luck. 

- Guys like Heinske, Ross, Sherrill, O'Flaherty, and yeas, even Brooks Conrad -- they won't get near enough credit for coming in in tough spots and delivering more often than not.

1st Half MVP - Brian McCann

1st Half Donkey - Scott Proctor

A Tuesday fit for a recap

 I wake up and put my pants on just like any guy. After 2 cups of coffee, I'm feeling like this fella:



So, I'm out the door, and it's already 90 degrees. I'm sweating my ass off by the time I reach my car. It's early and I'm not much for stupid people, so I'd rather listen to a book on tape than Mike & Mike, but since I don't own many books or tapes, Juvenile would have to do.

Car -- parked. I now have to park in some crack ghetto neighborhood near school... I guess I could park in student parking, if I wanted to pay $275 for a parking pass that will come in handy for another week and a half. My building is in sight, but as I am walking past the brand new Cancer Research building something else catches my eye. And, apparently I caught his, but it didn't seem to ruffle the guys feathers; no, he continued to  look like a creep as he stood against the wall facing the building. I shake it off, but he was shaking off something too. And then, I see it: a stream of piss running between his legs. Hey buddy, "It may not be a going problem, instead, a growing problem." Hell of a start to the day.

I don't bring a lunch because I love going to the cafeteria and paying double the price for Chic Fil A and Firehouse. Turns out my teacher, who's the size of a tugboat, wanted to go right through lunch today. Lucky for me we've got a snack machine on our floor stocked with gum, Starbust, honeybuns, and Sun Chips. Sun Chips it is.

The best way to keep my attention is make me skip lunch and then keep me 30 minutes over the usual time class ends. If a career wasn't hanging in the balance, I may just tell them to suck it. Yeah, that would show them....

It was 6:30 when I realized I could drink wine for dinner. I just finished the "Charlie Gets Crippled" episode of Always Sunny, and I needed some food. Whenever I'm a little down, but still hungry, I turn to the one food that can cure any frown. Kid, I'm talking Greek food prepared by Mexicans in a mall food court. I'm talking Great Wraps gyro. He's the problem: you gotta go to the mall for one of these things. You know the little 4'3" sample ladies that throw those toothpicks with bourbon chicken at you as you pass? They just scream at you from behind their counters now. "You wann try thees chikhan?" No, thanks. (Louder and not asking this time) "You try thees chikhan" Damnit Su Chen, let me get my gyro. And I did.

You know how I know tomorrow's going to suck?

I gotta present my research to the faculty. Here's my poster:

 

Just based on the trailer, I'm putting this movie somewhere above Angels in the Outfield and Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, but a notch or two below The Bad News Bears, Little Big League, and Major League. One of these movies, including Air Bud and Moneyball, is based on true events. You figure it out.

And....building those barriers right back up again.

Tosh.0
Tags: Tosh.0 Videos,Daniel Tosh,Web Redemption

Breaking Barriers

Folks, we witnessed history last night. With the 10th pick of the 2011 NBA Draft, the Sacremento Kings took Jimmer Fredette -- a white kid from Utah by way of New York. By selecting Jimmer or Jimma, depending upon what region you're from, the Kings will introduce the first ever white male in to professional basketball. We've heard all of the talk leading up to the draft... "Can one of those people really hang with the athletes in the NBA?"; "We need a white guy to squash these stereotypes! -- you know, the ones that say white people are only good at data entry and watching college football."

See, he can go between the legs just like the guys in the NBA.

It's obviously going to be tough. We aren't very good at sports that don't involve horses, golf clubs, or frisbees. But, as long as he doesn't play any defense and shoots more than he passes, I think he's got a chance to fit in nicely with the NBA game.

We tried to get in touch with Fredette to talk with him about all of this. Also, we wanted to ask him if the successes of T.J., his older brother, were motivating or frustrating at times. T.J. Fredette is a monster in the rap music industry, an industry that has long been dominated by white males like MC Shadow, House of Pain, Lil Wyte, Bubba Sparxxx, and Masi, but most of you knew that anyway. It must be hard (for Jimmer) to see his brother thrive, while he struggles through barriers -- the biggest being the color of his skin. :(

"Keep shooting pars, asshole!"

That's what Rory McIlroy said, in his best Roy McAvoy impression, to the rest of the field at Congressional. He absolutely dominated his competition, and what was even more impressive was doing so coming off of an awful final round showing at the Masters -- a major in which he lead almost every hole until Sunday. The guy is really talented, and now every sports channel -- TV and radio -- is killing us softly with talk of... "the next big thing", "Tiger 2.0", "who is this Tiger again?". Please, stop.

Professional golf and the word "interesting", in my eyes, just don't go together. Yesterday was a great performance by a great young golfer and nothing more. It's wasn't a "changing of the guard" or "golf can thrive without Tiger Woods" moment. But, ESPN and other sports outlets are giving a go at selling that. There are 3 PGA events that I watched, and by watch I mean turn the channel to and most likely fall asleep. Those tournaments are: the Players Championship, the Masters, and the Ryder Cup (every other year). As for the rest of these things like the John Deere Classic and the Justin Timberlake Open, you may as well put trained professional drivers in cars and have them drive around a circle because that's how cool and exciting a product you got.

I know I sound like a hater, but I do love golf -- playing golf. I can't take watching it being played or constant ramblings about it's future. Just not that important.

Let's be honest, the things that make you enjoy golf are: drinking, watching your buddy's bag fall off his cart as he takes off, taking 2 or 3 off the tee and yelling the word "FOUR!!!" each time, cart girls, trying hard but eventually falling out of golf carts, and every once in a while hitting a decent shot and saying, "If I could just do that more, I'd be pretty good."... It's not watching these goofballs:

Artest vs Kimmel

Queensbridge is in the building, but they must not have a zoo.



Lucky for those animals, they weren't on set with Gilbert Arenas or JR Smith 'cause animals would've been dealt with.

Bruins, kid! Bruins!

Come on, kid!  Timmy fahhgin' Tawmis, kid. Electric!

7 Seconds and Pulse of the Nation:

Here are a few of the Braves notable draftees from years past:

Urban Meyer  (13th round of 1982)  

This guy hit .182 over 2 seasons in Rookie ball. 

--

Randy Johnson   (1982 — 4th round)

The "Big Unit" didn't sign with the Braves back then. It would've been nice had he done so...

Forget all the wins -- think about how cool it would have been to see him make that bird explode with a  fastball, while in a Braves uni.

 --

 Mark Brunell  (1992  –  44th round)

Yeah, not that cool.

MIA NO MORE

That's right... I'm back. This time my absence was not my own doing. Any way you slice it, your hearts grew fonder, and I appreciate that. I'd like to say that tons of stuff has been going on in my life since May 10th, but I'd probably be lying. It's nice to know that some folks are up to the same ol', same ol', just as I am:

Miss you, Brandon...not you, Jeff

I'm in my final semester of "in the classroom" school stuff. Not much to say about school except our schedule and workload are complete jokes. I'm really looking forward to 8 weeks in Savannah. Not as excited about Warner Robins. 

Like I said earlier, this whole neglected blog thing wasn't my fault this time around. I didn't realize how good I had it when I lived with rich roommates. I went from watching every retarded channel you could think of on a 51in TV and researching all kinds of porn school-related topics with high-speed internet to refreshing the  NBA playoffs and Braves gamecasts 100 times a night on my cell phone. Damn, if that ain't roughing it, I don't know what is.

There have been some good weekends in Savannah, Tybee, AND Wilmington. Getting drunk, dancing, and going shirtless hasn't seemed to go out of style just yet, but what has changed, however, is my waist/stomach. Some would call me "fatish" or "rounder". Others may say that I'm, "Orne in waiting" or perhaps "pregnant". I say: Wendy's is good damnit, and Amstel Light's 95 calorie beer is a bit deceiving. 

No, I'm not going to make fun of him. Like Lebron, I had a decision to make. And, at this time, I would like to announce that I'm taking my talents to Louisville on Thursday. I don't know much about Kentucky. Wait, yeah I do, and that's all I need to know. Gates open at Churchill Downs at 11:30am on Saturday, and the first post time is 12:45pm. Now, does any one have a seersucker suit I can borrow? I promise that I'll napkin-up when I eat my Double Down.

Ohh, this guy is good.

From the guy that brought us this:



Now presents something else, this: