NBA Baby

- That Miami mess looked bad last night. Uh oh, I think they're done, and it's only a matter of time until Pat Riley takes the reigns.

- Yao Ming is back mutherfuckers

- Gilbert Arenas has taken his Agent 0 status to new levels after disguising himself as an injured player during the preseason. What will he do next?

- The Nets can sell tickets, even when they're less than a dollar.

- Did Greg Oden die?

- Hawks tonight. No joke, I wasn't sure that Memphis still had a team, but the turns out the Grizzlies are still hoopin it there. Mike Woodson is gone, so that'll put a couple more in the win column. Joe Johnson was a bad resign, but what do I know? Well, I know that 6 years and 119 million is a lot to spend on a guy that will completely hand cuff an offense and quit on his team in the playoffs. Prediction: They still win 50 games, but none when it matters.

- Top 5 players in the NBA:
5. Lebron
4. Dwight Howard
3. Rondo
2. Kevin Durant
1. Kobe

- Here's to another season of Charles Barkley...

Queensbridge is still in the building.

Amen

OITO would consider backing Jimmy McMillan financially, but the damn rent is too damn high.

Quick and Dirty

-Passed on Avett Bros in NashVegas with my bro and sis-in-law this Halloween Weekend for Ga-Fla...hope I don't regret that one. Arch said last Halloween The Avetts dressed up as The Three Amigos.

- Since everyone jumped on my Avett Brothers train, I had to find a less populated one. Felice Brothers in Atlanta in less then a month...see ya there?

-I've been having a delightful morning on Pandora's Felice Brothers Station.

-Basketball Tryouts starts today....Merry Christmas

-Krispy Kreme is too good. The glazed guys are good, but my top two are sour creme kruellers and chocolate iced cream filled.

-Had a blast at "The P.Lowestra" on Saturday...that is a play on the historic basketball arena, The Palestra, in Philly. It is like a cathedral of basketball...a real gem. If I had time to link it, I would...google it yourself though.

- Old Crow Medecine Show just popped up on Pandora...they are amazing...I need to get a Mumford Sons album, but I still think these guys are better than them.

- My plate seems to have too much on it with teaching, coaching, home-making, and ruckus-causing...but I actually am in the process of starting an improv troupe here, for my Smashers. Could be amazingly awesome.

-There's the bell...gotta run.

-Peace and Hairgrease

Good News All Around

Cute!

Congratulations Andrew and Brannnnnddddiiiiiii!!!

Cuter?

In other news, I'll be in Savannah starting Aug. '11 because I muscled all of my pussy classmates out of the Savannah clinical spots. Me and Hinchey's dad are going do lunch often, and I'll share with him my ideas on what my signing bonus should be upon graduation. Self high five!

Two for Tuesday

Two posts!!!

1. It's been a week since the Braves exited the playoffs. Lots of bad defense and good pitching. That's about all I can say about that. Bobby Cox is an all time great. He took a really team/organization and turned it into, with the help of GMJS, a perennial playoff contender. I was at Game 3 of the Divisional Series. It's probably completely unfair to do this, but I think that game can pretty much sum up this season and possibly the past 20 years: great pitching keeps us close, not much offense, a scrappy guy makes a play, heartbreak.

So since there's no Braves baseball to watch, here's what I'm watching:

- Conspiracy Theory with your host: Fmr. Governor Jessie "the Body" Ventura. I knew it all a long man; they're out to get us man. They've got our houses tapped and that old lady next door is always looking at me weird man.

Swamp People - 'Nuff said.

Eastbound & Down - There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.



2. We're learning about traumatic brain injuries right now. It's some pretty interesting stuff until you actually have to work with someone with a traumatic brain injury. They aren't very nice, and probably for good reason. There's all sorts of ways that a person can present, but here's an example of a guy I was evaluating today...



So, this guy in the video was a little bit nicer than the fella I talked with. He has a problem called Wernicke's Aphasia. It's a problem that affects the brains ability to comprehend and produce coherent speech. The guy in the video can still understand what the lady is saying, but when he speaks, nothing concrete comes out. The guy I was working with today told me this after I asked him his name, "I got to rocks and have times for in that it stood in a river." Okay. This went on for some time. He knows what he wants to say, but he can't comprehend what is coming out and therefore doesn't understand why I'm making the bitter beer face. I think I'll stick with broken bones and repaired shoulders/knees for now...

This series was exhausting.

State of The Weazle

I'm great, thanks for asking. I was watching Fried Green Tomatoes this past weekend, while grading papers; and, I heard a line that I thought fit my life right now. "I'm too old to be young, and too young to be old." That is sort of the inspiration behind the song at the top of the post. Also, Sonny and The Sunsets are pretty sweet. Oh, anyone with the music channel Paladiam, I believe on Wednesday, they will be airing the footage from the new Avett Brother's live album. The title of the program, so you can record it, is "The Avett Brothers Live: Volume Three"...I think. Yes Murray, I will save it on the DVR for you.

So, I do believe you all know that I got a new house, and a new school. I took it relatively easy this weekend to square away some work and home things. If any of yall think you are creepy, you ain't creepy like me until you show up at The Dollar Tree too early on a Saturday morning. That's right; I went to The Dollar Tree at 8:45, and they don't open until 9...slackers.

I believe by Friday I may be on top of everything again. It is nice to be getting my legs back underneath me, and I can't wait until the day I don't have anything I have to do for school or to keep my house from falling down or being repo-ed.

I'm going to be head coach of the freshman basketball team, so I've been practicing my "cut speech." How does this sound, "We really don't need you...you should go try out for wrestling though, so people will think twice about telling you how bad you are at basketball."

I joined a writing club with some people I had English courses with at Armstrong. It is really cool. I feel like I am sharpening my ax for the classroom.

I have recently been rejuvinated by my new teaching strategy/philosophy. I will spare you the details for the time being. It seems to be working pretty well in the classroom. I no longer feel like I am herding cats.

I have been broadening my horizons, socially. I don't think it is any suprise or secret to anyone that the "old crew" hasn't really been rocking and rolling, like she used to. I guess it just makes it more special when we do get a group of us together. Unless yall are just having No-Weazle Parties, then screw you.

Since I have moved to West Thunderbolt (my new town), I have come to realize something. Donnie was right. Wilmington Island sucks. Sure it is a nice place to stay, if you want to be 95% sure that you won't get robbed. But, nothing beats the convenience of Midtown. Also, the restaurants of Wilmington get old fast. Plus, have you seen the people that live down there?



They're living in their white-bread world.

About Last Night

This is what we saw:



So, what did Paul Emmel see?


It was Jerrrryyy, mannnn. "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear a flower in your hair."

!?!?

Infante is on the take.

Goin Out West

That's a song that WSP covers, but that's not what we're talking about here...



Damnit Jim, we're talking about the playoffs! Some teams played yesterday, but for me, the MLB playoff baseball starts tonight at 9:37.



I'm not sure if some things are "just meant to be", but I do know I will enjoy some meaningful Braves baseball for as long as they keep it going. Keep those sinkers down D Lowe and let's get a win.

East Coast > West Coast

Braves Regular Season Grades

The playoffs start today, and that's the only mention they will get in this post. Atlanta had a head scratcher of a year -- they played really well for some significant stretches and really really bad for some stretches. Coming into the season, expectations were high and for pretty good reason. Top to bottom: the starting 5, starting lineup, bullpen, and bench all looked really solid. But based on the past couple of seasons, not being embarrassed was my biggest hope for the team.

Pitching:

Starting with the rotation...The Braves have some impressive arms in their rotation. Who knew Tim Hudson could win 17 games a year removed from elbow surgery? Outside of a horrible month of September (1-4, 5+ ERA, 7 HR against the Nats, Cards, Mets, and Pirates), Hudson was a top 3-5 pitcher in the NL. Derek Lowe upsets me. For the first 3 months of the season, he skated by with lots of run support and racked up 9 wins. In July and August, he gave up a lot of hits and runs to some bad teams (2-6). September rolls around and he's arguably the best pitcher in baseball, so going forward, who are we going to see? Tommy Hanson is young, and with youth comes inconsistency. His record doesn't show how well he pitched during the year. Not a lot of run support and several blow saves hurt him. Medlen was great, and I just hope he can come back at or near the same level of effectiveness. Minor/Beachy were surprisingly good. You can't really ask these guys to do a ton, but they took the ball and notched some good innings. It's not really fair to evaluate Jair Jurrjens because of all the injuries. I think it is fair to say that a healthy Jurrjens wins quite a few more ball games for the Braves this past season. It's funny to think that if anyone other than Kawakami makes his 18 starts (yes 18), the Braves may have won the East...well maybe it isn't that funny. All in all, I think the current rotation gives Atlanta a solid chance to win each night.
Grade: B

Batting:

The bats could do no wrong from May to mid/late August. Zero offense in September made for some tense moments done the stretch. Plain and simple, Prado, McCann, Heyward, and even Infante can hit. They can hit well. All hit for consistent average, well maybe with Heyward being the exception, but I blame that on a thumb that still isn't right. Those four always seemed to come up with the "timely" hit when needed. Troy Glaus was a monster for the month of May. His knees and plate approach have been on extended summer vacation since. Brookes Conrad and Eric Hinske hit and hit well when given the chance. Melky is an idiot (see defense comments below). But give him a 2-0 or 3-1 fastball and he's spinning caps -- no breaking balls por favor. Nate McLouth...not sure what to say here. Maybe he just needed a few more ABs. Chipper was starting to warm up just before the injury, so we'll see how this rehab thing goes. Overall, this was a typical Braves season in the batter's box... not a lot of HRs or big RBI guys, but timely hitting and good pinch hitting. Of course, a team on-base % of .340 helps your cause...
Grade: B+


Defense:

Piss poor all season long. This was supposed to be the one "sure thing". Far from it. McLouth forgot how to make the throw from center to home. All infielders, and I mean all of them, really had trouble with routine plays, and that cost Atlanta quite a few games. For God's sake, can we please position Melky guarding the line or in the gap? I know that's not really possible, but we've all seen what happens when a ball is hit right at him. Alex Gonzalez may have had a rough year defensively, but I think it's safe to say that Escobar would have done no worse. McCann is a great hitter, so that's good because I think he threw out about 2% of all base stealers...the rest of those throws ended up in right-center.
Grade: D-

Bullpen:

The strongest in the league, in my opinion. A bunch of great arms, and they did a great job of eating up innings when needed and closing out games. Venters, Moylan, O'Flaherty, and Kimbrel should be locked down for years. Billy Wagner says he won't be back, and I believe him. It's a shame, but I think Kimbrel can be the guy for a long time. Send Farnsworth packing.
Grade: A


I'm critical because I care.

Individual Awards:

Best Bullpen Pitcher - Venters/Wagner

Best Rookie - Heyward (with Venters a lot closer than you think)

Biggest Surprise - Infante

Biggest Disappointment - 6-9 against the Pirates and Nationals in 2nd half of the season

Best Starting Pitcher - Hudson

MVP - Prado

"They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothing."

Makin it Rain(ey)

So, a few tests and lots of bull shit school work have kept me from making fun of this guy for a couple of weeks. Time's up. As many of you know, Chris Rainey was a super retarded fast WR/RB for the Gators. But his girl was straight buggin, so recently his focus has been off the field. Well, Rainey decided thrextin (threatening texts?...might be a stretch) his girl would be the best way to communicate his displeasure with her. Turns out, you are allowed to text folks messages like, "Time to die". Rainey was arrested and charged with stalking, and needless to say, he's not playing football for the Gators right now.

You're asking, "So what?" Well, I'm going to miss this guy if he doesn't find some way to get back on the field or more importantly, in front of a microphone. Over the past few years this guy has been the Ozzie Guillen of college football. Just a month or so before the season, Rainey felt the Gators were locked in more so than ever, and he told reporters, "I guess we got rid of the prima donnas -- all the selfish cats." Umm, did you forget the most inspired speech ever?!? Yea, so come up with your own 3 minute run-on sentence, and then come talk to us. Anyways, CUM took Chris Rainey's media privileges away.

CUM on Rainey (pre-arrest): "Inappropriate, wrong, non-thought out, which he does quite often," Meyer said in the wake of the "prima donnas" quip. "I love Chris Rainey, but when I ask him a question, I give him a whole day to think about it and write it down 100 times."

You know what I got out of that? CUM is kinda funny. Naturally, this wasn't the first time Rainey said something that left the coaching staff shaking their heads and everyone else laughing (except white girls). Rainey wasted little time after arriving in Gainesville and wanted everyone, especially the sno-bunnies, to know where he stood... "Every time you see a fine girl, you see another fine girl better than her. Some people like different color girls and stuff like that. I'm a white girl man." And a star was born...

Thursday night done right!

My Picks: a week late and a dollar short

*
NFC

East: The Birds
South: NOLA
North: Vikes
West: Cards
Wild Card: G-Men

AFC

East: J-e-t-s Jets Jets Jets
South: Colts
North: Ravens
West: Chargers
Wild Card: New England

Super Bowl: Eagles vs. Jets

Champion: Eagles

They call me "Weazle" but you can call me "Homer"

*This is all stipulated by the fact that Andy Reid is doing what I think he is doing by pretending to be all about Kolb just for next week to see if he is they qb of the future, and if he isn't, Vick is the qb that brings a Super Bowl to the Illadelph.

The NFL Season

NFC:
East - Dallas
South - New Orleans
North - Green Bay
West - San Francisco
Wild Card - Atlanta, Minnesota

AFC:
East - New England
South - Tennessee
North - Baltimore
West - San Diego
Wild Card - Indianapolis, Pittsburgh


Super Bowl Prediction:

Tennessee Titans v Green Bay Packers

Packers win, 35-26

My Thoughts on the A.J. Green Suspension

I find it a rather corrupt and disturbing event when the NCAA officials suspended A.J. for four games for selling his jersey for one thousand dollars. The very NCAA officials that decided to punish Mr. Green make their paycheck based on the talent and work of players such as Mr. Green. What kind of people get fat and rich off of the free labor of other people? Slave owners.

At the same time, if all NCAA athletes were given a stipend based on need, incidents such as this would be much less likely to occur. These student-athletes put as much time into their sports as the average professional does, and then have to go to class.

So why would you not allow these athletes to receive 10% or 5% of the overall revenue, for an industry which they generate 90% to 95% of the revenue? Easy...there wouldn't be enough money for the NCAA officials. And by enough, I mean what they deem to be enough money. The same reason slave owners and textile mill owners didn't want slavery to be abolished. "You cut out the free labor, our bottom line is going to shrink."

As long as people percieve what the NCAA officials are doing is legitimate, they won't be able to open their eyes and see that this predominate occurance in American society isn't much different than a sweat shop in Indonisia.

You may think I am grasping at straws here, and I am not saying that they are exactly the same. But, the similarities are there. At the very least, I hope you walk away from this realizing what pieces of shit the NCAA officials are that penalize any student-athlete, in any way, when that student-athlete lines the all mighty NCAA officials' pockets. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOO?

P.S. Anymouse...feel free to release this to the AP.

Boise State > most of the field

I know they don't play anybody, and I have cared less and less each year. I'm pulling for Boise State tonight because they're more interesting than Ohio State and Texas. I'm not jumping on any wagon, and I am not asking anybody to do the same. Their level of competition is nothing compared to any of the big conferences, that's no secret, so spare me that argument. Boise State has done their part each of the last couple seasons: win 25 of their last 26 games. They have been given this one and only chance (through their #3 preseason ranking). Now, go and earn it.

Lose: OK. The debate is over.

Win: Uh oh BCS.

Let the Brent Musburger show begin!

"The wait is over."

That's what those d-bags, Hartzell and David Johnston, said over and over this morning on the Ref. "Go to Chic fil A and tell 'em, 'the wait is over', and they'll give you a free chicken biscuit." So I made a little detour on my way outta Athens this morning. Well, lost in the shuffle of: Johnston harping on Boise State's weak schedule, Hartzell mentioning soccer on the top 5 days of the year, and the girl at Chic fil A saying "my pleasure" 10 times in a 1 minute drive thru experiences, I received no free anything because only one Chic fil A was doing that whole giveaway in the first place, and I wasn't at it (was that a run-on sentence?). Thanks douches.

All of my readers are playing saying, "Enough already, quit with all your made up stories." Shut up, the wait is over. College football is back, babies. There's a huge slate of games tonight featuring teams like: USC (Ric's), USC (formally Ric's?), and Utah. What else can I say? I couldn't care less about any of these teams, but that doesn't matter. Tonight is just a sign of things to come, and this season is going to interesting on many fronts. But, those other fronts not called Georgia will have to wait for another post.

Always knew CMR had a sense of humor

UGA has a new QB, D, and tailgating rules. Things are looking up. But wait, you're telling me this QB is an upgrade from last year? This D, on paper, is supposed to get after the football? And that stuff about tailgating wasn't true?! Well, two out of three ain't all bad, and life after Prince Miller and Bryan Evans does go on. Saturday will show us what this team is capable of, but hopefully not all of what they are capable of. Don't peak too early Georgia. Reports have been swirling that, since his arrest/suspension, Washaun Ealey has lost the 2 kids he ate during the off season...so that's good. And, Caleb King has successfully read blitzing defenders off the edge in scrimmages as well as children's stories after practice. It's gonna be a good season.

Throw it to him. He's good.

Topics for upcoming posts:

- The government is giving away money! I'm going to bet with it.
- Boise State will play in the Nat'l Title...just ask Jesse. That rose is waiting for the Broncos.
- Erin Andrews gets what she wants (i.e. Dance Contests, Gordon Beckham, and the all new first hour of Gameday)

Topics for possible future posts:

- Dawgs are rolling, and I told you so.
- Dawgs are terrible, and I told you so.
- Lane Kiffin back to the Raiders?!
- Hey Jimmy Johnson: Let's go back to NOLA!

No Title

And the Video of the Year goes to...



This is not work safe, but it is pretty funny. Who knew Wendy was such a hooker? I'm sure Dave Thomas is turning over in his grave.