Just based on the trailer, I'm putting this movie somewhere above Angels in the Outfield and Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, but a notch or two below The Bad News Bears, Little Big League, and Major League. One of these movies, including Air Bud and Moneyball, is based on true events. You figure it out.

And....building those barriers right back up again.

Tosh.0
Tags: Tosh.0 Videos,Daniel Tosh,Web Redemption

Breaking Barriers

Folks, we witnessed history last night. With the 10th pick of the 2011 NBA Draft, the Sacremento Kings took Jimmer Fredette -- a white kid from Utah by way of New York. By selecting Jimmer or Jimma, depending upon what region you're from, the Kings will introduce the first ever white male in to professional basketball. We've heard all of the talk leading up to the draft... "Can one of those people really hang with the athletes in the NBA?"; "We need a white guy to squash these stereotypes! -- you know, the ones that say white people are only good at data entry and watching college football."

See, he can go between the legs just like the guys in the NBA.

It's obviously going to be tough. We aren't very good at sports that don't involve horses, golf clubs, or frisbees. But, as long as he doesn't play any defense and shoots more than he passes, I think he's got a chance to fit in nicely with the NBA game.

We tried to get in touch with Fredette to talk with him about all of this. Also, we wanted to ask him if the successes of T.J., his older brother, were motivating or frustrating at times. T.J. Fredette is a monster in the rap music industry, an industry that has long been dominated by white males like MC Shadow, House of Pain, Lil Wyte, Bubba Sparxxx, and Masi, but most of you knew that anyway. It must be hard (for Jimmer) to see his brother thrive, while he struggles through barriers -- the biggest being the color of his skin. :(

"Keep shooting pars, asshole!"

That's what Rory McIlroy said, in his best Roy McAvoy impression, to the rest of the field at Congressional. He absolutely dominated his competition, and what was even more impressive was doing so coming off of an awful final round showing at the Masters -- a major in which he lead almost every hole until Sunday. The guy is really talented, and now every sports channel -- TV and radio -- is killing us softly with talk of... "the next big thing", "Tiger 2.0", "who is this Tiger again?". Please, stop.

Professional golf and the word "interesting", in my eyes, just don't go together. Yesterday was a great performance by a great young golfer and nothing more. It's wasn't a "changing of the guard" or "golf can thrive without Tiger Woods" moment. But, ESPN and other sports outlets are giving a go at selling that. There are 3 PGA events that I watched, and by watch I mean turn the channel to and most likely fall asleep. Those tournaments are: the Players Championship, the Masters, and the Ryder Cup (every other year). As for the rest of these things like the John Deere Classic and the Justin Timberlake Open, you may as well put trained professional drivers in cars and have them drive around a circle because that's how cool and exciting a product you got.

I know I sound like a hater, but I do love golf -- playing golf. I can't take watching it being played or constant ramblings about it's future. Just not that important.

Let's be honest, the things that make you enjoy golf are: drinking, watching your buddy's bag fall off his cart as he takes off, taking 2 or 3 off the tee and yelling the word "FOUR!!!" each time, cart girls, trying hard but eventually falling out of golf carts, and every once in a while hitting a decent shot and saying, "If I could just do that more, I'd be pretty good."... It's not watching these goofballs:

Artest vs Kimmel

Queensbridge is in the building, but they must not have a zoo.



Lucky for those animals, they weren't on set with Gilbert Arenas or JR Smith 'cause animals would've been dealt with.

Bruins, kid! Bruins!

Come on, kid!  Timmy fahhgin' Tawmis, kid. Electric!

7 Seconds and Pulse of the Nation:

Here are a few of the Braves notable draftees from years past:

Urban Meyer  (13th round of 1982)  

This guy hit .182 over 2 seasons in Rookie ball. 

--

Randy Johnson   (1982 — 4th round)

The "Big Unit" didn't sign with the Braves back then. It would've been nice had he done so...

Forget all the wins -- think about how cool it would have been to see him make that bird explode with a  fastball, while in a Braves uni.

 --

 Mark Brunell  (1992  –  44th round)

Yeah, not that cool.

MIA NO MORE

That's right... I'm back. This time my absence was not my own doing. Any way you slice it, your hearts grew fonder, and I appreciate that. I'd like to say that tons of stuff has been going on in my life since May 10th, but I'd probably be lying. It's nice to know that some folks are up to the same ol', same ol', just as I am:

Miss you, Brandon...not you, Jeff

I'm in my final semester of "in the classroom" school stuff. Not much to say about school except our schedule and workload are complete jokes. I'm really looking forward to 8 weeks in Savannah. Not as excited about Warner Robins. 

Like I said earlier, this whole neglected blog thing wasn't my fault this time around. I didn't realize how good I had it when I lived with rich roommates. I went from watching every retarded channel you could think of on a 51in TV and researching all kinds of porn school-related topics with high-speed internet to refreshing the  NBA playoffs and Braves gamecasts 100 times a night on my cell phone. Damn, if that ain't roughing it, I don't know what is.

There have been some good weekends in Savannah, Tybee, AND Wilmington. Getting drunk, dancing, and going shirtless hasn't seemed to go out of style just yet, but what has changed, however, is my waist/stomach. Some would call me "fatish" or "rounder". Others may say that I'm, "Orne in waiting" or perhaps "pregnant". I say: Wendy's is good damnit, and Amstel Light's 95 calorie beer is a bit deceiving. 

No, I'm not going to make fun of him. Like Lebron, I had a decision to make. And, at this time, I would like to announce that I'm taking my talents to Louisville on Thursday. I don't know much about Kentucky. Wait, yeah I do, and that's all I need to know. Gates open at Churchill Downs at 11:30am on Saturday, and the first post time is 12:45pm. Now, does any one have a seersucker suit I can borrow? I promise that I'll napkin-up when I eat my Double Down.

Ohh, this guy is good.

From the guy that brought us this:



Now presents something else, this:

I got your sensitivity training right here!

So, the Braves pitching coach, Roger McDowell, said a couple of things that ruffled the feather of the hippies in San Francisco. Let's face it, you just can't talk about threesome, sticking things up peoples' butts, and knockin' teeth out guys' mouths like you could in the old days. He's since apologized for that stuff, but some feel that isn't enough. Folks are calling for suspensions, fines, sensitivity training, and even termination. I can't see the Braves firing McDowell, but this definitely doesn't jive with their squeaky clean image. But honestly, do you think sensitivity training is going to result in a break through for a guy that was one of the center pieces for MTV's Rock n Jock softball?

Roger w/ Anna Nicole Smith

Roger's the guy in the skirt

Green wig, who else?

Let's face it Braves, you kinda could have seen the writing on the wall. This guy has never taken himself too seriously (except when people yell at him, don't f*cking yell at him), and he was a bit of a "Manny being Manny" before Manny, as a player. Yeah, he said some bad stuff, but don't be shocked when you get a mean dog and it bites someone.


That was a Shane-esque metaphor. Self high-five.

Some more great news regarding the Braves. Thatta boy D. Lowe.

Draft

Live bloggin' up in this bitch. Things are about to get going. Just a couple of things we can expect:

- Mel, looking fresh.
- The term 'Lockout' will be used in upwards of 100x.
- Cecil Newton will say "God is good" or "have a blessed day"
- There will be a story about how  some player overcame a shoplifting problem or tourette's
- Jets fans will boo at something
- Falcons will take some kid from Mount Union who's got "great upside"

Away we go...

8:04
Goodell gets showered with boo's and responds "I got ya." It's going to be a great night.

8:06
That didn't take long. Cam to Carolina. I can imagine Jimmy Clausen's reaction was a little something like this:

"Whatttt?!?"

8:22
Couple more picks and players off the board. More importantly, the first potential A.J. Green suitor is on the clock. Lots of rumors about the Falcons moving up to take Green or Julio Jones. While I like the idea, it's going to cost Atlanta a whole bunch, but I'd say its worth it. And, as I type, Green to the Bengals. Who's going to throw the best WR in the draft the ball? Best of luck, A.J.

8:34
Falcons are on the clock. Traded up to get Julio. Apparently, they were hard at work to get to #4 to grab A.J., but the deal feel apart. Julio is a freak, but he's been hurt quite a bit. I hope he can put it together 'cause him across from Roddy White would be something special.  

9:00
Carrell's last episode; not Carrell_Fan's last blog.


9:07
Congrats, Jacksonville. You just got the fruitcake QB from Remember the Titans. 




9:20
Brett Favre's replacement (version 4.0) has been drafted. For the record, Chris Rix's intangibles > Christian Ponder's intangibles.

9:31
Hawks 71, Magic 59 w/ 9 to go in the 4th


10:03
the Office: too sad. In other news, Hawks win, Hawks win. The Dwight-out worked. The Draft is boogying right along. According to Gruden, the top 18 picks will all be All Pros next year...




10:30
Rather subdued. Gruden still has high praise for every single pick, which is pretty boring. Mel hasn't blown a gasket yet with his board being in shambles. Berman is just bored. We need Michael Irvin to livin' up the place (as a USA, USA chant breaks out)...

11:00
Now it's a party. No one has any idea what is going on right now. I'm 9 beers in, so I'm right on their level.

11:18
Mark Ingram is a nice story. I don't think he'll be the elite back that NO is looking for, so if the NFL career doesn't pan out, something tells me that Ingram's dad will have a money making plan or two...

11:35
The Packers and that raps up the 1st round. I don't mean to sound like a homer, but the teams that select Durham and Dent are getting really good players. In closing, Georgia State may have a player drafted before Tech.


See Ya!

One More

I have one last practical on Thursday. It will be the last one I will ever have to do, and it's going to be a doozy. Is that how you spell doozy? I took a final today, and it went A O K. The champagne is still on ice, but there's hope for me yet.

Bro's, Brah's, and Sister Golden Hairs...

Producer: Long time Grateful Dead guitar tech, Sonny "Sunshine" Smith, was quoted as saying, "Let's all just chill, man. What's all the hate for anyways? It's like, for the music, so why can't the Panic and Phish fans just like, get along?"

In this installment of OITO's "Behind the Music", we'll take a deeper look in to the rivalry that some people call "weak sauce" and "dangerous to the scene". We will dive in to the the two fanbases that get along like oil and water, like people and sharks, like soap and hippies. Welcome to the world of...

"Spread Heads"

"Phish Head"

v.






Let's start the debate. And here to help are 2 fans, one from the Widespread Panic end and the other from the Phish fanbase. Pictured in the wizard outfit is, not Pete from the Adventures of Pete and Pete, rather, longtime Phish phanatic, Parker "Tweek" T. To the left, some WSP fans, but we'll talk to one in particular -- "Trapper". Joining us later will be a couple of special guests that will lend their points of view.

"Tweek": (Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiifffffffffffff) Thanks for meeting me in this alley, brah. Can we start by poppin' in "Hampton Comes Alive" and letting that play? I need to calm my nerves. Listen, Panic is chill, I guess, but those n00b faaaaans are tripping bro. Those guys are all like, 'Phish is nothin' but like drums solos and bass slaps.' And that's pretty gnarly, bro. I need to get my speed ball and then rage along with Trey and his face melting shredder hand. Feel me? They're like, fake or something...whatever 'cause I'm like, over it.  

Producer: You're over it? So, you're willing to make amends and coexist?

"Tweek": Whaaat? Hold on man 'cause Trey's melting shit.

Producer: We turn now to "Trapper". You can see a young, budding "Trapper" on the far left of the Panic fan picture above. That was one of his first "shows". He calls himself a "vet" now, and the road has, well, taken its toll. Here he is just just 3 years later...

 
"Trapper": Life is grand, brah. That's what I say. Panic gives me life, and that life is then absorbed back in to the music, so it's like a circle...like a circle of life music. Whooa, that's trippy! But like, Phish and those people aren't heady, man -- not enough substance in the their music. They just do drugs. I don't touch that stuff, man.

Producer: You don't take drugs? Seriously?

"Trapper": Nahh, I just smoke weed and eat molly. No drugs, man... I'm not stupid. Haha, I'm made this shirt, man. Check out this shirt...

It's like mean. That's like mean stuff, man. And, it doesn't even matter though 'cause like JB and the boys light fires and then like, put it out with Chilly Water.

Producer: Well, despite editing, this show is starting to come off the tracks really quick. So, we now look to the frontmen of Phish and WSP for some guidance. Phish's Trey Anastasio (sp?) and WSP's John Bell are here with us.

Trey & JB: (simultaneously) Weee oool weeee oll weeee wah weeen!!!!

Producer: Well, that was something.

 Trey: Beeedle be be beep..........bowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

JB: Beeeeeeoweeeeeeeen be be beeeeonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...Chilly water!!! (Drum solo)

(15 minutes later)

Producer:  I don't get it.

"Tweek", "Trapper", & some people we've never seen before:  Whoooooa! Righteous, man. I dig this fah sure.

Producer: A freak-out, wait sorry, a phreak-out was born right there. Not sure that any of what just happen benefits society, but it happened none the less. The rest of the world doesn't understand what is seen in WSP and Phish, but honestly, their fans are too stoned to care. 

This "jam" went on for hours and hours. Literally, it went on for roughly 4:30 hrs. The "Behind the Music" staff try to talk to both groups of fans to feel out the situation -- to get a sense of the tension level. Their response, "Huhhh?"

Now Batting...

 ...for the LA Dodgers: Jerry Sands. As far as America's concerned, Jerry is the best thing, okay maybe the 2nd best thing, to come out of Catawba College since Donna Youngblood's daughter. He ruled the baseball diamond; she ruled the CC Drama Club meetings.

Shot of the Day

Not sure what Dax Crum is, but I want some, kid.

#744

Two weeks ago tomorrow, someone in my class told me that 'this will be our next to last Spring Break ever'. So, I decided to treat it like it was the last. Lots of things happened from April 1st to April 10 -- none of which included blogs. Some happenings were awesome; some not so awesome. Some things were scary, and some things were just plain sexy.

The awesome...

The weather was perfect. Tybee, just in general, was rockin' and rollin'. A. Morgan was hanging out, and we drank on the beach like old times. In town, Ben's hamburgers were still as good as it gets. I got a "when are you graduating? you want a job here?" talking to from my old boss, so that was nice. And, a lot can be said for waking up at 10 or 11am, watching Las Vegas (which is just as awesome as you can imagine), a beer with lunch, and then repeating the beer part the rest of the day, each day.

The not so awesome...

Svedka and V8 Splash

The sexy...

 
Don't worry, I won't bite. It's not that I don't want to, but that at that point the only thing I wanted to do was the Bernie and drink Hurricanes. If you look closely, you can see my semi growing for all the guys wearing graphic tees in Tybee Time. Highlight of the night: absolutely clearing the dance floor at Scandal's with my ninja Shane.

The down right scary...

So, you've heard of the "Shot heard 'round the world", right? You know, when the late Bobby Thompson hit a homer against the NY baseball-Giants in '51 to clinch the NL pennant. Well, Sunday, April 3rd will be forever known as the "Shot heard 'round the C-port". To protect the innocent, the victim will be known as Ally. Forgive me if I'm making light of the situation because that's not my intention. The only reason I'm even talking about this is because Ally is OK.

The scene: Historic Cannon Field; Good Guys - 30something and the Bad Guys - 16ish. Blowey Rims was already 6-7 with 3 HRs and too many RBIs when he stepped up for his 8th and final AB. Bad Guy flamethrower, Ally, was on the mound. The second pitch was right in his wheel-house. It was sent right back from whereith it came.



Fun was over. At best, I thought she would lose some teeth, but somehow, thank God, the baseball only hit her on the hand. She and her bf tell me that everything is cool, but I still feel terrible. I'm sorry.

Now that I'm back in Augusta -- with just another week or two to go -- I don't have a whole lot left in the tank. I don't have a lot to show for my Spring Break, well except for a commemorative tie die SB 2011 tank top (courtesy of that new place next to High Tide) and a swollen ankle (no idea), but it was all worth it. Well, not the hitting Ally part. Here's to a smooth end to the semester.

Braves Blog

You knew it was coming, or maybe you didn't. Opening Day is tomorrow, and more importantly, the Braves take the field against the Nationals around 1:00 pm.

Augusta is on day 3 of some sort of monsoon. Now, pair that with a long offseason, and I've had quite some time to think about what this post is going to be all about. Lucky you...

Pitching ain't a problem -- especially when Scott Proctor got kicked to the curb. I've question Derek Lowe from day 1, but he was arguably the best/2nd best pitcher in Sept. and his two starts in the playoffs. Tommy Hanson should get some more runs and have a very good year. It's hard to bet against Tim Hudson. I can't really make an argument for him being bad. That brings us to Jair Jurrjens and the new guy, Brandon Beachy. Beachy was better than Mike Minor this spring training, so he got the 5th spot. Jurrjens has been solid for Atlanta, but he's already hurt, and it will but hard to justify re-signing him to a big deal. But, it's hard for me to believe that both of these guys will be Braves come August. Atlanta's minor league system is loaded with young pitching -- Beachy being one of those guys, but maybe not even in the top 3 or 4. Julio Teheran, Randall Delgado, and Mike Minor will all be fixtures in future Atlanta rotations, but they need just a little more time. Back to Beachy and Jurrjens...I'm not calling for Beachy to be traded. He's going to be a very very good pitcher, and I would love for the Braves to hold on to him. But, if they need offense come July or August, he gone.

Did someone say offense? That may not be a problem if things go according to plan... you know, if: Dan Uggla does anything besides a playoff-Brooks Conrad impression; Chipper and his knee are good; Nate McLouth is something other than terrible; Eric Hinske gets a chance to swing the bat; Prado does half of what he did last season. There's probably a few more factors to play in, maybe like the new manager, but whatever. So, if all of said things are a go, then it's full speed ahead. Easy, right? Ooooh yeah. And, if they need a spark plug, why just call on Matt Young -- the new roster spot winner and the 4th outfielder...all 5'2 of him. 

He just a little guy.

 Remember this guy?...

Of course you don't. We're on to the next "big thing" or things, I guess. Fredi Freeman has saved us from Troy Glaus, Derrick Lee, and whatever the next experiment may have been. Give him some time 'cause he's only 21 and that may be close to the amount of pitches he saw last year with the team. Damn, when you hit 8th in the order, you should not be expecting a lot of good hitting pitches anyway. Craig Kimbrel could be Atlanta's closer for the next 10 years, or he could be the next Bob Wickman, Dan Kolb, or Chris Reitsma. Who did I just say? Exactly. Kimbrel and Freeman should be fine. If not, trade them to the Mets for someone. 

Prediction: 90 wins and a playoff series win or a few.

I hate to feel so good about this team and the season to be, but I do.

Braves win, Braves win.

Like R. Kelly said...

It's the freakin' weekend babay. But it's no ordinary weekend in Augusta; this is Murray Mayhem in Augusta, GA...

#741

So the first 2 rounds are in the books, or I guess it's the first 3 rounds with expanding the field; however you wanna slice it, those rounds are over and done. St. Johns', Louisville's, and Pitts' early exits have hurt my bracket in a big way, but show me good games, and I start to care less and less about brackets. Upsets happen every year, so there's no real story there. I do believe there was some interesting stuff that came out of the past weekend of games that no one is talking about...


- Washington's Isiah Thomas is 5'9, and he makes pretty decent decisions with the basketball. So he's nothing like his namesake -- Isiah Thomas. Okay, okay, the senior Isiah Thomas was a hell of a player, but we'll stop there. All of what I've said so far isn't that interesting, but how the young Isiah Thomas got his name is, or it may be that it is just really funny. During the UGA/Wash. broadcast, the cameras were all over the Thomas kid's dad, and Nantz throws out this lil' nugget: "Thomas' father told us that he was named after the long time player and now coach, Isiah Thomas, because he lost a bet with a friend." 

- Speaking of Georgia...the story of the weekend is not the hot pile they laid on the court on Friday. No, I think the real story is the signing of 6'8 PF Nemanja Djurisic. He's from Montenegro, but went to high school somewhere in Connecticut and screams(!!!!) Drazen. Yeah, you remember him, right?  As you can see by the picture, Nemanja may not be a pretty as Drazen, but he's just as European. 

Drazen giving us the ol' Serbian charm

Nemanja's no немарно држање тела (Serbian for "slouch")

Drazen does roll of the tongue a little easier. So, UGA is looking to gain back that Eastern European flare, and I like it. I'll like it until that first turnover or three straight misses from 20+ feet away. 

- VCU's coach is Chaka Smart. That is a badass name.


-  2010-11's three best college basketball players are still playing in the tournament -- Nolan Smith, Jimmer Fredette, and Kimba Walker. The "most NBA-ready" players are also still playing -- Kyrie Irving, Harrison Barnes, and Arizona's Derrick Williams.


On to the Sweet Sixteen...

Upset Alert: Arizona (+8.5) v Duke

Five O

Yesterday, I was pulled over by one of Augusta's finest. The first thing I did when he pulled up behind me was give the "go around me wave" because I had no clue what I did wrong. Well, he stayed behind me for another half a block or so, and he then hollered over his speaker, "Pull over!" I had to act quick, so I stuck all the angel dust and heroin I had up my butt.  I knew I didn't have anything to worry about there, but I was still trying to figure out what I did wrong. Was it because of my suspicious black Explorer? Did I put my turn signal on too early? "Do you know why I pulled you over?"  To which I responded, "I have no idea." "You're not wearing your seatbelt. Is there a reason for that?"  Yeah, I'm a risk taker behind the wheel. So he heads back to his car with my license and shit, and I immediately begin planning my way out of such a dumb ticket.

The only thing I could come up with was...

I tried really hard to cry. I thought of all kinds of sad shit -- the Dawson's Creek break-up, I am Sam, student loans, what Adrian Peterson said, but nothing was happening. Apparently nothing needed to happen. I got a warning. Let me go ahead and warn Augusta -- I'm not wearing my seatbelt. Suck it.