"For Real, We Appreciate You" Award Show

You've waited all week, and it's finally here. The "For Real, We Appreciate You" Awards Show starts now. We Would like to thank our sponsors, the Sav'h Riverfront Association, the Fairmont, Blessed Sacrament School, and Tybee Fest. 2009. Shall I be so bold as to say, 2008 = best year ever? Yes, I shall. Tonight is a celebration of all that was '08. Remember, we're all winners tonight, except the losers. I hope you have your acceptance speeches prepared for the comment section, because away we go...

Lights, camera, action...

And for tonight's first award, The winner of Destination 2008 is...

New Orleans '08!!!

No surprise here. For the other nominees, this was a lot like bringing a knife to a gun fight. New Orleans brought with it so so many things. Hand Grenades, Harrah's, and crazy Hawaiians. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah, cops that couldn't give a shit, KAs, Donnie's journey to find himself, and that little spark between Shane and the lady friend. Congratulations New Orleans and thanks for having us.


Here to present the Announcer of the Year Award is Charles Barkley. Appreciate ya cracka. Wait, did someone say somethin 'bout Harrah's? They got my lucky craps table and dem waitresses wit the booty. Anyways, that's terrible. The knucklhead Annoucer of the Year is...

Holland!!!

I gotta say, this was arguably the most competitive of all the categories. Rossiter's wit and charm weren't enough. And the the tandem of Sheehan, the Voice of BC Basketball, and Holland are similar to give and go styles of Stockton and Malone. When it's all said and done, Holland, very reminiscent of Malone, is a finisher. He knows exactly what to do with the mic, and OITO looks forward to great things from this guy. "NOOOOOOO!!! Kevin, that might have been the worst call I have ever seen in my life!"

Moving right along. The Hunter "Scooter" Krutch Humility Award goes to...

P "blue balls and fumes" Lowe!!!

Damnit, I thought I had this one for sure. Congrats P, you deserve it. A lot of people have got you all wrong. People think of you as this cocky, selfish, self-loathing individual. Wait, no they don't. P Lowe is the definition of humility. Comparable to Robin Hood, P is eager tee up the rich and give to the poor.

The Diarrhea at the Mouth Award winner is...

that Carter kid

The overwhelming favorite here. That Carter kid has made about one or zero friends since moving from the big city. But what can you expect from a brainiac brohan? He has coined phrases like, "____ are the tits" and "your fat and I make money". Wait that Carter kid, is that the way you should talk to a lady? Oh, you had a 4.0 a UGA, so yeah you had to of aced "How to Talk to Chicks". My b, brodoggy dog. You're the tits for winning this award and here's to hoping you straight murk 2009.

Well, that was something. We all know how girls are, some of us more than others. This next one may be a hard one to swallow for the... oh God that's what she said, got em. Sorry, I just don't want the losers to get too upset. I know they are all intently reading. Here to present the award for Girl of the Year, my man Scary C.

What up, what up fools!? Welcome to America. How are you crazy fuckshits living? Right on. I know some girls. They're kick ass, chillers. We grove and stuff, late night. We mack on some toasted pb & j's, no dicks allowed. HA! The winner is...

The Holland Twins!!!

They're like the Olsen twins, but they weren't born at the same time. They both do a lot of volunteer work with the elderly and the local soup kitchen. DGG, Damn Good Girls. In other good works, they hang out with us sometime and then it looks we know girls.

The Out of Context Award is presented to none other than...

Shane!!!!

I know there was a push for OIA's arch nemesis to win this, Al pal, but this one isn't close. So, we're watching a pretty good basketball game, and Shane is feeling the pressure to say something. We're running out of things to talk about at half time; Shane blurts out passionately, "I like those balls, they're better to play with because they're ribbed. You can get a good grip on one" Yikes. I can only dream that one day, that's what she will say. Well, maybe not the ribbed part. When it comes to suggestive language, Shane's cup overfloweth. Really looking forward to your acceptance speech following the show.

I think we need to sweeten things up a bit. There were some mighty cute people in '08, and put them together and you've got some damn cute couples. There was Shane and his chickens and ducks, Donnie and every girl, Rick and Larry, Jack and like 4 girls, and there's lonely ole me. The cutest couple of them all is...

Donnie and Dixie!!!

These two have come a long way. Dixie used to bite Donnie a little bit. This is more than a Dawg liking a dog, this is one island embracing another island. This is progress!

** Too long. Part 2 of the award show will be posted tomorrow. Be on the look out for the best Underdog Blog, the best Band, Blogger of the Year, and Big Dawg of the Year! Winners, post your acceptance speeches in the comment section. TTYL.

Love, Shane & Joey