"I used to read Word Up magazine"

I was chillin. Me and my Dawgs were rollin down to Tybee Time for a couple of frozen drinks that are the titties. Cruisin down Tybrisa when that mutha f'in Jobba the Hut lookin dude comes out of nowhere! "Pancake butt", he says. WTF? Listen Hut, quit wastin my flavor and get out our faces. He bellows , "Ohhhhh yeah, take that squirrel home and turn it sideways, yeahhh." Huh? I never know what you're talking about. The Hut then freakin form tackles Murray to the ground, takes his phone, and damn eats Mr. Oswald "Ozzie" Kennedy. Furry red rocket and all. I think to myself, 'damn son, Don has got some bad luck with pups'. Fucked up shit brothers.

My eyes open, I'm laying on the couch at Moms and Pops. It was all a dream. Ha, so I make a ham sandwich and flip on ESPN2. Tell me what is larger, Jay Crawford's doucheness or Dana Jacobson from the waist down? Yowza! 1st and 10, big whoop but wait is that Weezie aka tha Carter on the tube with Skipper? Yes, Lil Wayne is on 1st and 10 with my 3rd favorite ESPN personality. My first thought, I didn't think black folks got outta bed til the PM. Oh come on, that's at least a halfway joke. By the way, Skipper is horrified, you can see the absolute fear in those eyes. He compares Tha Carter III to Prince's Purple Rain. Blasphemy!!! We all know that Juvenile's 400 Degreez is the closest thing to any Prince record. How can I take a guy with neck tats, a lip ring, and a song about dicks named "Lollipop" serious? He can't tell me about the Cover 2 defense. He can't break down Ed Reed's performance from last Sunday 'cause he's to busy smokin that kush with him. Did the Chargers win or did the Colts lose that game? Steph Curry, the next Lebron Jordan? Right now, is he the best player ever to play the game? Lil Wayne can't tell me, but it's all good with Skipper. Fuckin poser. Not a dream.

P.S., P Lowe's domination streak ends at 6 posts!

P.P.S., Gators by 75, onward Christian Soldiers

P.P.P.S., Pineapple Express is wierd but kinda the tits.