A white kid from Savannah's guide to Atlanta.

Sauers didn't have much input in this guide, but I know he's thinking about you -- not in a creepy way... well I guess it is possible.

We're all going to miss you Shane. You're probably going to be pretty overloaded with work for much of your time in Atlanta, but every once in a while remember to step back, take a deep breath, and enjoy yourself. Of course, don't take too deep of breath due to the smog, but you get me.



We can start south and work our way up to the fancy/boring parts of north Atlanta.

Shane, I'm going to be honest with you... the only time you should be in south Atlanta is when your heading Savannah to Atlanta on I75/85 or vice versa. That's right, unless Turner Field is your destinations, keep driving, well, unless you develop a pretty nasty crack habit -- not advised. There's no place in that area for tender-hearts like us. 

Downtown Atlanta is full of interesting people downtown. Underground Atlanta is cool if you ever need anything monogrammed or just wanna purchase some oversized white T's. We'll talk about some bars in a minute, but maybe the 2nd most entertaining place in all of Atlanta is Five Points. If you like lots of yelling, weird smells, aggressive pigeons, and trains then that's your stop. In all seriousness, I love sandwiches. And, the best place with the best sandwich is downtown at Reuben's Deli.

Midtown, Atlanta, where I lived and managed not to turn gay or into a Tech fan. I think I i was able to manage that much in part to not sticking around this area. Here's a few places are definitely worth it:

- Fox Bros. BBQ -- You've already been there but go again. Best Bloody Mary ever
- the Vortex -- Might be the strangest place to eat but the hamburgers are badass
- The Clermont Lounge - Where else can you see a mother/daughter stripper duo?

I go for the $1 PBR; I stay for the 60 year old strippers.

- Little Five Points -- free culture awaits

- Blind Willie's and Neighbors in the Virginia Highlands -- maybe the most normal bars in the area

Now for your area. Buckhead, which by your own admission, is where you probably stick around, and I can't blame you there. You can go ballin' at Phipps or Lenox Square, but remember where you came from. The Savannah Mall with their Dillard's, Target, and Bass Pro Shop did the best they could. There are probably close to 100+ bars and clubs in that area, and I've been drunk every time I've gone to any of them. My point: I can't really help you there.The Sweetwater Brewery is close by, so go there if the line at the Havana Club is too long.

Hey(!!!), if all else fails, you can go to Stone Mountain for a laser light show, but make sure you stop by Francoeur's parents' house after to TP it. And, you never know, the AFL might have saved up enough money from the 2011 season to afford another season of Georgia Force football in Gwinnett come 2012.

Joey: "Bro, one day we're like gonna tell stories about how we used to live downtown." Shane: "Yeaaaa."

Best Sunday Ever!

It doesn't matter if the Braves wear those goofy red jerseys today; no, it won't bother me a bit. GM Frank Wren some how pulled of another trade that should be leaving the other party and their fans scratching their heads. Just a little while ago, GMFW and the Braves acquired Michael Bourn -- one of the best lead-off hitters and THE BEST CF'er in baseball -- for 3 pitching prospects (none of them being Teheran, Minor, Vizcaino, or Delgado) and Jordan Schafer.

The Braves didn't have to give up any of their top young pitchers pitchers, which is exactly what they would have had to do to get Hunter Pence or Carlos Beltran. Victory. Schafer has had way to many opportunities to put it all together, but simply put: He can't hit.

Bourn is a good hitter and a true lead-off guy; something the Braves haven't had since Rafael Furcal. He is far and away the best CF'er they have had since Andruw Jones.

I just can't seem to wipe this smile off my face!

Bourn: "I"m fuckin' psyched to be a Brave, dog! Where the bitches with the titties?"

Here's some good news.

Here's some more good news.

Braves Blog

So all things considered, the Braves made it to the All Star Break in really good shape. 

Five great things:

- Johnny Venters and Craig Kimbrel are the best LH/RH combo coming out of the bullpen in the 8th and 9th. Period.

- Freddie Freeman is a freak. He's way out-performed any sort of expectations anyone could have had for him to this point.

- Hanson/Jurrjens/Hudson/Beachy -- I would put these 4 starting pitchers up against any lineup in baseball.

- Winning despite injuries and horrendous slumps. This might be the sign of a really good team or really good luck. 

- Guys like Heinske, Ross, Sherrill, O'Flaherty, and yeas, even Brooks Conrad -- they won't get near enough credit for coming in in tough spots and delivering more often than not.

1st Half MVP - Brian McCann

1st Half Donkey - Scott Proctor

A Tuesday fit for a recap

 I wake up and put my pants on just like any guy. After 2 cups of coffee, I'm feeling like this fella:



So, I'm out the door, and it's already 90 degrees. I'm sweating my ass off by the time I reach my car. It's early and I'm not much for stupid people, so I'd rather listen to a book on tape than Mike & Mike, but since I don't own many books or tapes, Juvenile would have to do.

Car -- parked. I now have to park in some crack ghetto neighborhood near school... I guess I could park in student parking, if I wanted to pay $275 for a parking pass that will come in handy for another week and a half. My building is in sight, but as I am walking past the brand new Cancer Research building something else catches my eye. And, apparently I caught his, but it didn't seem to ruffle the guys feathers; no, he continued to  look like a creep as he stood against the wall facing the building. I shake it off, but he was shaking off something too. And then, I see it: a stream of piss running between his legs. Hey buddy, "It may not be a going problem, instead, a growing problem." Hell of a start to the day.

I don't bring a lunch because I love going to the cafeteria and paying double the price for Chic Fil A and Firehouse. Turns out my teacher, who's the size of a tugboat, wanted to go right through lunch today. Lucky for me we've got a snack machine on our floor stocked with gum, Starbust, honeybuns, and Sun Chips. Sun Chips it is.

The best way to keep my attention is make me skip lunch and then keep me 30 minutes over the usual time class ends. If a career wasn't hanging in the balance, I may just tell them to suck it. Yeah, that would show them....

It was 6:30 when I realized I could drink wine for dinner. I just finished the "Charlie Gets Crippled" episode of Always Sunny, and I needed some food. Whenever I'm a little down, but still hungry, I turn to the one food that can cure any frown. Kid, I'm talking Greek food prepared by Mexicans in a mall food court. I'm talking Great Wraps gyro. He's the problem: you gotta go to the mall for one of these things. You know the little 4'3" sample ladies that throw those toothpicks with bourbon chicken at you as you pass? They just scream at you from behind their counters now. "You wann try thees chikhan?" No, thanks. (Louder and not asking this time) "You try thees chikhan" Damnit Su Chen, let me get my gyro. And I did.

You know how I know tomorrow's going to suck?

I gotta present my research to the faculty. Here's my poster:

 

Just based on the trailer, I'm putting this movie somewhere above Angels in the Outfield and Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, but a notch or two below The Bad News Bears, Little Big League, and Major League. One of these movies, including Air Bud and Moneyball, is based on true events. You figure it out.

And....building those barriers right back up again.

Tosh.0
Tags: Tosh.0 Videos,Daniel Tosh,Web Redemption

Breaking Barriers

Folks, we witnessed history last night. With the 10th pick of the 2011 NBA Draft, the Sacremento Kings took Jimmer Fredette -- a white kid from Utah by way of New York. By selecting Jimmer or Jimma, depending upon what region you're from, the Kings will introduce the first ever white male in to professional basketball. We've heard all of the talk leading up to the draft... "Can one of those people really hang with the athletes in the NBA?"; "We need a white guy to squash these stereotypes! -- you know, the ones that say white people are only good at data entry and watching college football."

See, he can go between the legs just like the guys in the NBA.

It's obviously going to be tough. We aren't very good at sports that don't involve horses, golf clubs, or frisbees. But, as long as he doesn't play any defense and shoots more than he passes, I think he's got a chance to fit in nicely with the NBA game.

We tried to get in touch with Fredette to talk with him about all of this. Also, we wanted to ask him if the successes of T.J., his older brother, were motivating or frustrating at times. T.J. Fredette is a monster in the rap music industry, an industry that has long been dominated by white males like MC Shadow, House of Pain, Lil Wyte, Bubba Sparxxx, and Masi, but most of you knew that anyway. It must be hard (for Jimmer) to see his brother thrive, while he struggles through barriers -- the biggest being the color of his skin. :(

"Keep shooting pars, asshole!"

That's what Rory McIlroy said, in his best Roy McAvoy impression, to the rest of the field at Congressional. He absolutely dominated his competition, and what was even more impressive was doing so coming off of an awful final round showing at the Masters -- a major in which he lead almost every hole until Sunday. The guy is really talented, and now every sports channel -- TV and radio -- is killing us softly with talk of... "the next big thing", "Tiger 2.0", "who is this Tiger again?". Please, stop.

Professional golf and the word "interesting", in my eyes, just don't go together. Yesterday was a great performance by a great young golfer and nothing more. It's wasn't a "changing of the guard" or "golf can thrive without Tiger Woods" moment. But, ESPN and other sports outlets are giving a go at selling that. There are 3 PGA events that I watched, and by watch I mean turn the channel to and most likely fall asleep. Those tournaments are: the Players Championship, the Masters, and the Ryder Cup (every other year). As for the rest of these things like the John Deere Classic and the Justin Timberlake Open, you may as well put trained professional drivers in cars and have them drive around a circle because that's how cool and exciting a product you got.

I know I sound like a hater, but I do love golf -- playing golf. I can't take watching it being played or constant ramblings about it's future. Just not that important.

Let's be honest, the things that make you enjoy golf are: drinking, watching your buddy's bag fall off his cart as he takes off, taking 2 or 3 off the tee and yelling the word "FOUR!!!" each time, cart girls, trying hard but eventually falling out of golf carts, and every once in a while hitting a decent shot and saying, "If I could just do that more, I'd be pretty good."... It's not watching these goofballs:

Artest vs Kimmel

Queensbridge is in the building, but they must not have a zoo.



Lucky for those animals, they weren't on set with Gilbert Arenas or JR Smith 'cause animals would've been dealt with.

Bruins, kid! Bruins!

Come on, kid!  Timmy fahhgin' Tawmis, kid. Electric!

7 Seconds and Pulse of the Nation:

Here are a few of the Braves notable draftees from years past:

Urban Meyer  (13th round of 1982)  

This guy hit .182 over 2 seasons in Rookie ball. 

--

Randy Johnson   (1982 — 4th round)

The "Big Unit" didn't sign with the Braves back then. It would've been nice had he done so...

Forget all the wins -- think about how cool it would have been to see him make that bird explode with a  fastball, while in a Braves uni.

 --

 Mark Brunell  (1992  –  44th round)

Yeah, not that cool.

MIA NO MORE

That's right... I'm back. This time my absence was not my own doing. Any way you slice it, your hearts grew fonder, and I appreciate that. I'd like to say that tons of stuff has been going on in my life since May 10th, but I'd probably be lying. It's nice to know that some folks are up to the same ol', same ol', just as I am:

Miss you, Brandon...not you, Jeff

I'm in my final semester of "in the classroom" school stuff. Not much to say about school except our schedule and workload are complete jokes. I'm really looking forward to 8 weeks in Savannah. Not as excited about Warner Robins. 

Like I said earlier, this whole neglected blog thing wasn't my fault this time around. I didn't realize how good I had it when I lived with rich roommates. I went from watching every retarded channel you could think of on a 51in TV and researching all kinds of porn school-related topics with high-speed internet to refreshing the  NBA playoffs and Braves gamecasts 100 times a night on my cell phone. Damn, if that ain't roughing it, I don't know what is.

There have been some good weekends in Savannah, Tybee, AND Wilmington. Getting drunk, dancing, and going shirtless hasn't seemed to go out of style just yet, but what has changed, however, is my waist/stomach. Some would call me "fatish" or "rounder". Others may say that I'm, "Orne in waiting" or perhaps "pregnant". I say: Wendy's is good damnit, and Amstel Light's 95 calorie beer is a bit deceiving. 

No, I'm not going to make fun of him. Like Lebron, I had a decision to make. And, at this time, I would like to announce that I'm taking my talents to Louisville on Thursday. I don't know much about Kentucky. Wait, yeah I do, and that's all I need to know. Gates open at Churchill Downs at 11:30am on Saturday, and the first post time is 12:45pm. Now, does any one have a seersucker suit I can borrow? I promise that I'll napkin-up when I eat my Double Down.

Ohh, this guy is good.

From the guy that brought us this:



Now presents something else, this:

I got your sensitivity training right here!

So, the Braves pitching coach, Roger McDowell, said a couple of things that ruffled the feather of the hippies in San Francisco. Let's face it, you just can't talk about threesome, sticking things up peoples' butts, and knockin' teeth out guys' mouths like you could in the old days. He's since apologized for that stuff, but some feel that isn't enough. Folks are calling for suspensions, fines, sensitivity training, and even termination. I can't see the Braves firing McDowell, but this definitely doesn't jive with their squeaky clean image. But honestly, do you think sensitivity training is going to result in a break through for a guy that was one of the center pieces for MTV's Rock n Jock softball?

Roger w/ Anna Nicole Smith

Roger's the guy in the skirt

Green wig, who else?

Let's face it Braves, you kinda could have seen the writing on the wall. This guy has never taken himself too seriously (except when people yell at him, don't f*cking yell at him), and he was a bit of a "Manny being Manny" before Manny, as a player. Yeah, he said some bad stuff, but don't be shocked when you get a mean dog and it bites someone.


That was a Shane-esque metaphor. Self high-five.

Some more great news regarding the Braves. Thatta boy D. Lowe.

Draft

Live bloggin' up in this bitch. Things are about to get going. Just a couple of things we can expect:

- Mel, looking fresh.
- The term 'Lockout' will be used in upwards of 100x.
- Cecil Newton will say "God is good" or "have a blessed day"
- There will be a story about how  some player overcame a shoplifting problem or tourette's
- Jets fans will boo at something
- Falcons will take some kid from Mount Union who's got "great upside"

Away we go...

8:04
Goodell gets showered with boo's and responds "I got ya." It's going to be a great night.

8:06
That didn't take long. Cam to Carolina. I can imagine Jimmy Clausen's reaction was a little something like this:

"Whatttt?!?"

8:22
Couple more picks and players off the board. More importantly, the first potential A.J. Green suitor is on the clock. Lots of rumors about the Falcons moving up to take Green or Julio Jones. While I like the idea, it's going to cost Atlanta a whole bunch, but I'd say its worth it. And, as I type, Green to the Bengals. Who's going to throw the best WR in the draft the ball? Best of luck, A.J.

8:34
Falcons are on the clock. Traded up to get Julio. Apparently, they were hard at work to get to #4 to grab A.J., but the deal feel apart. Julio is a freak, but he's been hurt quite a bit. I hope he can put it together 'cause him across from Roddy White would be something special.  

9:00
Carrell's last episode; not Carrell_Fan's last blog.


9:07
Congrats, Jacksonville. You just got the fruitcake QB from Remember the Titans. 




9:20
Brett Favre's replacement (version 4.0) has been drafted. For the record, Chris Rix's intangibles > Christian Ponder's intangibles.

9:31
Hawks 71, Magic 59 w/ 9 to go in the 4th


10:03
the Office: too sad. In other news, Hawks win, Hawks win. The Dwight-out worked. The Draft is boogying right along. According to Gruden, the top 18 picks will all be All Pros next year...




10:30
Rather subdued. Gruden still has high praise for every single pick, which is pretty boring. Mel hasn't blown a gasket yet with his board being in shambles. Berman is just bored. We need Michael Irvin to livin' up the place (as a USA, USA chant breaks out)...

11:00
Now it's a party. No one has any idea what is going on right now. I'm 9 beers in, so I'm right on their level.

11:18
Mark Ingram is a nice story. I don't think he'll be the elite back that NO is looking for, so if the NFL career doesn't pan out, something tells me that Ingram's dad will have a money making plan or two...

11:35
The Packers and that raps up the 1st round. I don't mean to sound like a homer, but the teams that select Durham and Dent are getting really good players. In closing, Georgia State may have a player drafted before Tech.


See Ya!

One More

I have one last practical on Thursday. It will be the last one I will ever have to do, and it's going to be a doozy. Is that how you spell doozy? I took a final today, and it went A O K. The champagne is still on ice, but there's hope for me yet.

Bro's, Brah's, and Sister Golden Hairs...

Producer: Long time Grateful Dead guitar tech, Sonny "Sunshine" Smith, was quoted as saying, "Let's all just chill, man. What's all the hate for anyways? It's like, for the music, so why can't the Panic and Phish fans just like, get along?"

In this installment of OITO's "Behind the Music", we'll take a deeper look in to the rivalry that some people call "weak sauce" and "dangerous to the scene". We will dive in to the the two fanbases that get along like oil and water, like people and sharks, like soap and hippies. Welcome to the world of...

"Spread Heads"

"Phish Head"

v.






Let's start the debate. And here to help are 2 fans, one from the Widespread Panic end and the other from the Phish fanbase. Pictured in the wizard outfit is, not Pete from the Adventures of Pete and Pete, rather, longtime Phish phanatic, Parker "Tweek" T. To the left, some WSP fans, but we'll talk to one in particular -- "Trapper". Joining us later will be a couple of special guests that will lend their points of view.

"Tweek": (Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiifffffffffffff) Thanks for meeting me in this alley, brah. Can we start by poppin' in "Hampton Comes Alive" and letting that play? I need to calm my nerves. Listen, Panic is chill, I guess, but those n00b faaaaans are tripping bro. Those guys are all like, 'Phish is nothin' but like drums solos and bass slaps.' And that's pretty gnarly, bro. I need to get my speed ball and then rage along with Trey and his face melting shredder hand. Feel me? They're like, fake or something...whatever 'cause I'm like, over it.  

Producer: You're over it? So, you're willing to make amends and coexist?

"Tweek": Whaaat? Hold on man 'cause Trey's melting shit.

Producer: We turn now to "Trapper". You can see a young, budding "Trapper" on the far left of the Panic fan picture above. That was one of his first "shows". He calls himself a "vet" now, and the road has, well, taken its toll. Here he is just just 3 years later...

 
"Trapper": Life is grand, brah. That's what I say. Panic gives me life, and that life is then absorbed back in to the music, so it's like a circle...like a circle of life music. Whooa, that's trippy! But like, Phish and those people aren't heady, man -- not enough substance in the their music. They just do drugs. I don't touch that stuff, man.

Producer: You don't take drugs? Seriously?

"Trapper": Nahh, I just smoke weed and eat molly. No drugs, man... I'm not stupid. Haha, I'm made this shirt, man. Check out this shirt...

It's like mean. That's like mean stuff, man. And, it doesn't even matter though 'cause like JB and the boys light fires and then like, put it out with Chilly Water.

Producer: Well, despite editing, this show is starting to come off the tracks really quick. So, we now look to the frontmen of Phish and WSP for some guidance. Phish's Trey Anastasio (sp?) and WSP's John Bell are here with us.

Trey & JB: (simultaneously) Weee oool weeee oll weeee wah weeen!!!!

Producer: Well, that was something.

 Trey: Beeedle be be beep..........bowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

JB: Beeeeeeoweeeeeeeen be be beeeeonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...Chilly water!!! (Drum solo)

(15 minutes later)

Producer:  I don't get it.

"Tweek", "Trapper", & some people we've never seen before:  Whoooooa! Righteous, man. I dig this fah sure.

Producer: A freak-out, wait sorry, a phreak-out was born right there. Not sure that any of what just happen benefits society, but it happened none the less. The rest of the world doesn't understand what is seen in WSP and Phish, but honestly, their fans are too stoned to care. 

This "jam" went on for hours and hours. Literally, it went on for roughly 4:30 hrs. The "Behind the Music" staff try to talk to both groups of fans to feel out the situation -- to get a sense of the tension level. Their response, "Huhhh?"

Now Batting...

 ...for the LA Dodgers: Jerry Sands. As far as America's concerned, Jerry is the best thing, okay maybe the 2nd best thing, to come out of Catawba College since Donna Youngblood's daughter. He ruled the baseball diamond; she ruled the CC Drama Club meetings.

Shot of the Day

Not sure what Dax Crum is, but I want some, kid.

#744

Two weeks ago tomorrow, someone in my class told me that 'this will be our next to last Spring Break ever'. So, I decided to treat it like it was the last. Lots of things happened from April 1st to April 10 -- none of which included blogs. Some happenings were awesome; some not so awesome. Some things were scary, and some things were just plain sexy.

The awesome...

The weather was perfect. Tybee, just in general, was rockin' and rollin'. A. Morgan was hanging out, and we drank on the beach like old times. In town, Ben's hamburgers were still as good as it gets. I got a "when are you graduating? you want a job here?" talking to from my old boss, so that was nice. And, a lot can be said for waking up at 10 or 11am, watching Las Vegas (which is just as awesome as you can imagine), a beer with lunch, and then repeating the beer part the rest of the day, each day.

The not so awesome...

Svedka and V8 Splash

The sexy...

 
Don't worry, I won't bite. It's not that I don't want to, but that at that point the only thing I wanted to do was the Bernie and drink Hurricanes. If you look closely, you can see my semi growing for all the guys wearing graphic tees in Tybee Time. Highlight of the night: absolutely clearing the dance floor at Scandal's with my ninja Shane.

The down right scary...

So, you've heard of the "Shot heard 'round the world", right? You know, when the late Bobby Thompson hit a homer against the NY baseball-Giants in '51 to clinch the NL pennant. Well, Sunday, April 3rd will be forever known as the "Shot heard 'round the C-port". To protect the innocent, the victim will be known as Ally. Forgive me if I'm making light of the situation because that's not my intention. The only reason I'm even talking about this is because Ally is OK.

The scene: Historic Cannon Field; Good Guys - 30something and the Bad Guys - 16ish. Blowey Rims was already 6-7 with 3 HRs and too many RBIs when he stepped up for his 8th and final AB. Bad Guy flamethrower, Ally, was on the mound. The second pitch was right in his wheel-house. It was sent right back from whereith it came.



Fun was over. At best, I thought she would lose some teeth, but somehow, thank God, the baseball only hit her on the hand. She and her bf tell me that everything is cool, but I still feel terrible. I'm sorry.

Now that I'm back in Augusta -- with just another week or two to go -- I don't have a whole lot left in the tank. I don't have a lot to show for my Spring Break, well except for a commemorative tie die SB 2011 tank top (courtesy of that new place next to High Tide) and a swollen ankle (no idea), but it was all worth it. Well, not the hitting Ally part. Here's to a smooth end to the semester.

Braves Blog

You knew it was coming, or maybe you didn't. Opening Day is tomorrow, and more importantly, the Braves take the field against the Nationals around 1:00 pm.

Augusta is on day 3 of some sort of monsoon. Now, pair that with a long offseason, and I've had quite some time to think about what this post is going to be all about. Lucky you...

Pitching ain't a problem -- especially when Scott Proctor got kicked to the curb. I've question Derek Lowe from day 1, but he was arguably the best/2nd best pitcher in Sept. and his two starts in the playoffs. Tommy Hanson should get some more runs and have a very good year. It's hard to bet against Tim Hudson. I can't really make an argument for him being bad. That brings us to Jair Jurrjens and the new guy, Brandon Beachy. Beachy was better than Mike Minor this spring training, so he got the 5th spot. Jurrjens has been solid for Atlanta, but he's already hurt, and it will but hard to justify re-signing him to a big deal. But, it's hard for me to believe that both of these guys will be Braves come August. Atlanta's minor league system is loaded with young pitching -- Beachy being one of those guys, but maybe not even in the top 3 or 4. Julio Teheran, Randall Delgado, and Mike Minor will all be fixtures in future Atlanta rotations, but they need just a little more time. Back to Beachy and Jurrjens...I'm not calling for Beachy to be traded. He's going to be a very very good pitcher, and I would love for the Braves to hold on to him. But, if they need offense come July or August, he gone.

Did someone say offense? That may not be a problem if things go according to plan... you know, if: Dan Uggla does anything besides a playoff-Brooks Conrad impression; Chipper and his knee are good; Nate McLouth is something other than terrible; Eric Hinske gets a chance to swing the bat; Prado does half of what he did last season. There's probably a few more factors to play in, maybe like the new manager, but whatever. So, if all of said things are a go, then it's full speed ahead. Easy, right? Ooooh yeah. And, if they need a spark plug, why just call on Matt Young -- the new roster spot winner and the 4th outfielder...all 5'2 of him. 

He just a little guy.

 Remember this guy?...

Of course you don't. We're on to the next "big thing" or things, I guess. Fredi Freeman has saved us from Troy Glaus, Derrick Lee, and whatever the next experiment may have been. Give him some time 'cause he's only 21 and that may be close to the amount of pitches he saw last year with the team. Damn, when you hit 8th in the order, you should not be expecting a lot of good hitting pitches anyway. Craig Kimbrel could be Atlanta's closer for the next 10 years, or he could be the next Bob Wickman, Dan Kolb, or Chris Reitsma. Who did I just say? Exactly. Kimbrel and Freeman should be fine. If not, trade them to the Mets for someone. 

Prediction: 90 wins and a playoff series win or a few.

I hate to feel so good about this team and the season to be, but I do.

Braves win, Braves win.

Like R. Kelly said...

It's the freakin' weekend babay. But it's no ordinary weekend in Augusta; this is Murray Mayhem in Augusta, GA...

#741

So the first 2 rounds are in the books, or I guess it's the first 3 rounds with expanding the field; however you wanna slice it, those rounds are over and done. St. Johns', Louisville's, and Pitts' early exits have hurt my bracket in a big way, but show me good games, and I start to care less and less about brackets. Upsets happen every year, so there's no real story there. I do believe there was some interesting stuff that came out of the past weekend of games that no one is talking about...


- Washington's Isiah Thomas is 5'9, and he makes pretty decent decisions with the basketball. So he's nothing like his namesake -- Isiah Thomas. Okay, okay, the senior Isiah Thomas was a hell of a player, but we'll stop there. All of what I've said so far isn't that interesting, but how the young Isiah Thomas got his name is, or it may be that it is just really funny. During the UGA/Wash. broadcast, the cameras were all over the Thomas kid's dad, and Nantz throws out this lil' nugget: "Thomas' father told us that he was named after the long time player and now coach, Isiah Thomas, because he lost a bet with a friend." 

- Speaking of Georgia...the story of the weekend is not the hot pile they laid on the court on Friday. No, I think the real story is the signing of 6'8 PF Nemanja Djurisic. He's from Montenegro, but went to high school somewhere in Connecticut and screams(!!!!) Drazen. Yeah, you remember him, right?  As you can see by the picture, Nemanja may not be a pretty as Drazen, but he's just as European. 

Drazen giving us the ol' Serbian charm

Nemanja's no немарно држање тела (Serbian for "slouch")

Drazen does roll of the tongue a little easier. So, UGA is looking to gain back that Eastern European flare, and I like it. I'll like it until that first turnover or three straight misses from 20+ feet away. 

- VCU's coach is Chaka Smart. That is a badass name.


-  2010-11's three best college basketball players are still playing in the tournament -- Nolan Smith, Jimmer Fredette, and Kimba Walker. The "most NBA-ready" players are also still playing -- Kyrie Irving, Harrison Barnes, and Arizona's Derrick Williams.


On to the Sweet Sixteen...

Upset Alert: Arizona (+8.5) v Duke

Five O

Yesterday, I was pulled over by one of Augusta's finest. The first thing I did when he pulled up behind me was give the "go around me wave" because I had no clue what I did wrong. Well, he stayed behind me for another half a block or so, and he then hollered over his speaker, "Pull over!" I had to act quick, so I stuck all the angel dust and heroin I had up my butt.  I knew I didn't have anything to worry about there, but I was still trying to figure out what I did wrong. Was it because of my suspicious black Explorer? Did I put my turn signal on too early? "Do you know why I pulled you over?"  To which I responded, "I have no idea." "You're not wearing your seatbelt. Is there a reason for that?"  Yeah, I'm a risk taker behind the wheel. So he heads back to his car with my license and shit, and I immediately begin planning my way out of such a dumb ticket.

The only thing I could come up with was...

I tried really hard to cry. I thought of all kinds of sad shit -- the Dawson's Creek break-up, I am Sam, student loans, what Adrian Peterson said, but nothing was happening. Apparently nothing needed to happen. I got a warning. Let me go ahead and warn Augusta -- I'm not wearing my seatbelt. Suck it. 

Totally Awesome is totally awesome.

These guys don't layup...

...'cause layups should be done in pregame warm-ups.

He's Finally Made It

  
Happy Thoughts gets a thumbs-up. If you missed it last night don't fret; Comedy Central and Tosh pimped it enough for last 3-5months, so I'm guessing you'll get another shot. It was really funny. I'm always amazed when a single person can hold my attention for an hour, much less make me laugh.

What can you expect out of this thing? Affirmation that being male, Caucasian (non-Hispanic), and not a resident of California all result in check marks in the "good" column of life. There will be quite a few uncomfortable moments, but isn't that what makes life funny? And if you don't buy that, at least he tries to sell you on the fact that his domestic violence and rape jokes are "made up". Yeah, right.

"God's goalline defense against fags trying to enter Heaven"

 Primer:

Versus

First matchup:

vs

We put these two "things" together and ask the question: Which will make it come September to "play ball"?


The Collective Bargaining agreement between NFL owners and players is set to expire tonight at 11:59 pm. There hasn't been much progress made between the sides, and there isn't really a really for much optimism for the coming weeks/months. Carson Palmer doesn't seem to mind -- "I have $80 million in the bank. I don't have to play football for money." But that isn't the feelings of the NFLPA and many of its players. This may be a bit of a shock to some, but they don't want to take a pay cut and play more games. The owners want more money. What do they want to do with that money? Burn it, stuff their pillows with it, fans their animals, and buy hookers of course. Personally, I could care less what happens, but for every me and Carson Palmer (first and last time we'll ever be in the same sentence), there's millions of fans and hundreds of players that want this deal done.

Come Summer time, NFL players will miss the comradery...and a steady paycheck...

 Redskins' tomfoolery at it's best

 ...And fans will miss seeing their favorite NFL player being concussed on every other possession...

 Is that Cutler's "O Face" or "Oww Face"?

And now... Charlie Sheen



I don't know what to say. Maybe he finally watched an episode of Two and a Half Men and completely lost it. I think the saying goes, you can never have too many hookers and methamphetamines, but in Charlie's case, that may not be true. Or maybe. Let's be honest, we've all seen celebrities (Lindsey Lohan, the guy that plays Ironman, Tiger) mess up and then "come clean" to the public on TV. The hilarious/awesome thing in Sheen's case is, he doesn't give a shit about apologizing or coming clean. Nope, he just wants to run his mouth about "tigers blood", "winning or bi-winning", and "epic" things in front of a camera. Hell, he probably ended up snorting a line off that ABC reporter's anatomy after the interview. Charlie, I hate your show, but I love Major League. I'd wish you the best, but I don't think that's going to be enough.






Winner: the NFLPA

Does this suck?

Am I a fruitcake for thinking this song is badass? 



One thing's for sure -- the diversity in this band is simply stunning. I mean, when's the last time you saw a white guy play the saxophone? And I know what you're about to say, but stop right there because Wallden played the trumpet not the saxophone.

Yeah that's right, Clinton on Arsenio was the last time a white guy played the sax.

 Stay tuned for a new segement entitled "Versus" (title subject to change) coming real, real soon.