Streaking

This morning, the No-Cavity Streak was in jeopardy as I sat in the dentist's chair. I thought, 'how could it end this way?' And then I remembered that it was a streak of no cavities, so having one would mean the end. Entering the day, the streak stood tall at 9,114 days.

I explained to my dentist that my diet changes starting with the last weekend in October. That's right it's nothing but candy corn until late November...then pecan pie and that jello mold with the fruit suspended in it when late November comes around...and in December, well nothing but candy canes and maple syrup and leftover candy corn. I tried to make my dentist understand the importance of the streak, and how I needed to make it to Easter for those giant Reese's eggs with all that "peanut butter" inside.

Since Cal Ripken Jr.'s consecutive game streak stopped years back and UCLA's was halted many moons ago and Favre's streak started/ended (1) this past Monday, I'm the only one left. I know everyone is on the end of their seats, thinking stuff like: "Oh my, what happens?!", "Gee, I hope he's OK!" "Don't let that girl from Indiana beat you, pussy!", but exhale and know that the streak continues. No cavity. 9,115.

Time to celebrate with Mountain Dew and Krispy Kreme.

Goodbye 2010

We've had our ups; we've had our downs. Some of us aren't friends anymore, and it is what it is. I feel like I know where I stand with all of ya, and if you ever need to find me, you know where to find me. If you don't know where it is, hit me up on the phone. I'll be around. Bout to do 2011 dirty. Rumor on the street is BC needs a football coach....

You forgot...

Don't worry; it is appropriate for kids from 8 to 80.

Playlist and Fashion Show!

Just a little update on how the Christmas Party playlist is coming along...it's good, really good.

Have you ever wonder how Kurtis Blow, Busta Rhymes, Burl Ives, and Juicy J could work? Well, don't worry about that because you may ruin it for everyone else.



What is everyone wearing?!? Should I go "wacky Christmas", "grown and sexy", or "I'm here to party"? Over the years, there's been much controversy over those dreadful sweaters that some chose to wear. I know this party has been label a "Tacky Christmas", and I feared that I may be the odd man out when I show up...until I drink liquor and become that guy that can't dance but he tries hard.

1.

A Parisian Christmas

2.

Pockets stay fat Christmas

3.

Dick Towel Christmas

You be the judge...

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First off, welcome to the all new "It's Always Sunny in the Office". The name change certainly came as a surprise to some, OK all the contributors, but it's a welcomed changed none the less. Don't worry, I talked to Andrew, and he is totally cool with everything. "But does the name change mean you guys jumped the shark?" Well loser, that's a stupid cliche, and it doesn't mean anything, so shut up. We all know that the Office spiraling towards a series finale -- hopefully NBC is thinking twice about subjecting us to a spin-off show in which Jim makes "that face" in to the camera and Pam tries to find a personality. OITO has seen an opportunity to "still murk the competition", and we're going to run with it. You guys are reading tomfoolery at its best.

As for the page layout, we'll just say it's a work in progress...



Let's make fun of stuff...

Hey, there's big things going on from our friends from the Midwest! Of course I'm talking about college athletics because let's be honest, not much else going on. The Big Ten is gearing up for some fierce competition in 2011-12. With the likes of Nebraska joining, who wouldn't get excited? Well, Big Ten officials couldn't hide their boners any longer and on Monday, they announced the new Divisions and their respective schools. The Legends Division will house Iowa, Michigan, Michigan St., Minnesota, Nebraska, and Northwestern. The Leaders Division is loaded with Illinois, Ohio St., Indiana, Penn State, Purdue, and Wisconsin. These name are super fitting because hell, every time I think of the word legend, I think of guys like Ricky Stanzi (Iowa QB), Denard Robinson (Mich QB) and Bo Pelini. As for the word leader, well there's never been a better on/off the field leader than Minnesota RB DeLeon Eskridge. Should be a fun season.

Last night, Cliff Lee dooped the Yankees ala Greg Maddux styley. He turned down 6/7 years and 150+ mill with New York for Philly and 5 year/120 mill (w/ an incentive based option for a 6th year). Basically the money would be about the same, so he's not really taking a pay cut. Now the Phillies have a pitching rotation that looks like an All Star ballot, but take heart babies! Let's be honest, there's one great pitcher on that Phillies staff -- Roy Halladay and he's 33. Cliff Lee is very good with a lead, but throws 90 at best and cannot make good pitches in a hitter's count (See World Series v the Giants). Plus, he's getting his first big contract at age 32. Our Braves may not be in as bad a shape as it seems. They're continuing the trend of getting younger in key positions, and they are completely stock piled with good pitching. The Phillies continue to get older. Cowherd and his wacky logic proposed a different take on why Lee chose the Phillies over the Yankees: You can get the "New York experience" while living somewhere else...someone in Boise Idaho can receive the New York Times at their door step! Not to mention, you can get a pretty solid bagel anywhere. Cowherd, you're officially an idiot.

They say that nobody remembers who finished 2nd place, but I do. Thanks SCPS for making my mid-day, Saturday!


I think Muschamp to UF hire sets them back 2-3 years. Coming off of a year where Georgia actually had a shot at beating the Gators, I expect Georgia to be favored next year. Shane's right when he said "Leach not going to UF makes this an OK hire." It may or may not turn out to be the right hire, who cares? Florida will still lose 4 games next year -- one being to UGA. Georgia's physicality > UF's.

What's for breakfast?

100% pure orange-pineapple juice, skim milk, peaches, grilled cheese and strawberries freeze dried in Wheaties. Time to dominate.

JJBA= LIAM?

The Spaniards say, "posible"

As Promised

Best Song About Going To San Francisco And Putting Flowers In Your Hair...

...will be posted at a future date. Hint: It is also the worst song about going to San Francisco and putting flowers in your hair.

Tyson v Stallone

It was recently announced that these two, among others, will be inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame in June of 2011. I don't really have anything thoughtful to say about either one, but I can't stop cracking up at the thought of one thing: How bad these two speeches will be come ceremony time...

Starting at 1:05, a truly classic moment making fathers everywhere proud.


The over/under on the amount of "Huh?" or "What'd he say?" during Stallone's speech will be set at 5 1/2.

Survive and Advance

Only 1 more "in the classroom" semester left. With that said, the champagne is on ice... no popping bottles just yet.


Christmas Break starts now.

Milestone!!!

Forget that SEC Championship; OITO has much bigger fish to fry. This is post number #700, babies! Since 2007, we've held true to our motto "Straight murkin' the competition", all the while not forgetting our roots, and the fact that no one reads this stuff. Personally, I couldn't care less and I think this notion just allows me to be as ridiculous as I possibly can. So in conclusion, thanks for not reading.

With the 700th post, we find ourselves surrounded by some pretty big time company. Some notables in 700 Club include:

"Hammerin" Hank Aaron

the Boeing 747

And the OG of the 700 Club...

Pat Robertson

Here's to 700 more...

Never thought I'd say this...

I'm rooting for the upset this weekend, and it's not just because I want my old landlord to be happy. Nope, I have boundless reasons why I'm hoping for a USC win -- Cam Newton's crybaby attitude we all saw in the first half of the Iron Bowl returns; Nick Fairly and the possibility of injury?; Isiah Crowell narrows it down to GA and Bama...

Of course, I'm sure a few of you will be pulling for Auburn because you want to see them in the National Championship. It remain strange to me that people have this weak sense of "the SEC is the best and we should pull for them no matter what." Well, fuck that. I was pulling for a Boise State/ Oregon final all season. I think it would be the most entertaining game, and that's all I ever want in sports. But since Boise State practically fell out of the top 25, that ain't happening.

I'm making my case for a USC victory in the form of a Top 5...

5. Auburn's defense is terrible, and they weren't very good in the first meeting between SC/AU. Stephen Garcia fumbled twice in the 4th Q, so I'm sure Chizik sent him and his large Mexican family a Thanksgiving day ham. The scary thing for Auburn, Marcus Lattimore had arguably his worst game of the season. That won't happen tomorrow.

4. Tomorrow will mark only the second time ever that the Gamecocks will play indoors. Obviously, any kinks were worked out the first time.

3. Such a big win couldn't happen to a better guy...


This marks the first December (non-bowl game) weekend in about 10 years that a football game gets in the way of a tee time. Spurrier's going to make the most it.

2. I'm going with Lou Holtz. He's been right on a lot of stuff.

1. Uncle Rico has been laughable during his quarterbacking career at SC. Step up, but not too much! Hand the ball off to the 2nd best freshman in the country. Get the ball in the hands of Alshon Jeffrey. Don't turn it over. And stay away from the Cheetah and Pink Pony...atleast go to the Clermont where the drinks are cheaper.


30-27

The Best Dead Rapper You've Never Heard Of

Stuffing

There's some stuff happening.

- Apparently, doing the dirty is cool, as long as your kids don't find out. The very Reverend Cecil Newton and some shady characters did discuss dollar bills at some point before Cam Newton signed with Auburn. The money, though, has yet to be found, and Cam Newton's "do what happened?" response was good enough for the SEC and NCAA. I gotta say, this was the fastest ruling I have ever seen made by the NCAA. Good work, boys. Justice prevails on Saturday, however, because the Cocks take down Auburn and Ric's house.

- The US Office of Homeland Security has raised the Terror Threat level to Red (severe risk of terrorist attacks) after an unidentified source told officials that Kim Jong-il, Bin Laden, and Lebron James are conducting secret meetings in Cleveland, Ohio this evening. Those goddamn terrorists!!!

- Mark Fox and the Georgia men are lucky to be 4-2. Their perimeter defense is sorry. Rebounding a basketball is "overrated, I'd rather be dunkin", according to Barnes. That's a fake quote. Since Thompkins' return, there has been no such thing as Jeremy Price on the offensive end, and I think that may need to change. I'm not taking anything away from Trey Thompkins, but Price was really good in the first 3-4 games of the year. Gerald Robinson/Travis Leslie will be a fun back court to watch all season. Outside of Temple, UAB is the best team that Georgia has faced and will face until Kentucky on January 8th. Go, fight, win.

So what if he missed it?

Top 5 songs that can't stop, won't stop...for now.
1. Town Mountain - "I'm on Fire" (Bruce Springsteen cover)
2. Monsters of Folk - "Map of the World"
3. Kanye "Imadouchebutthissongiscool" West - "Monster"
4. Langhorne Slim - "In the Midnight"
5. Bobby Helms - "Jingle Bell Rock"

***
- I almost forgot! The US got beat out for the 2022 World Cup by some country named after an alien -- Qatar. Dang, we were so close to hosting football.