Dear Dickheads, Douchebags and Fuckfaces:
The Weazle strikes again. I moved down to Tybee three weeks ago and when I moved back to the La Isla De Wilmington I pretty much forgot about ye ole blog. Luckily, I bookmarked it so it was only a matter of time before I was bored enough to check my bookmarks and I came across this little neighborhood in the Cyberweb. A lot has occured in the World of The Weazle over the past month. Big Bro got married and I got a new sister, which is pretty cool. Had a nice little bender that week. Two days after the wedding my folks had to go up to Yankeeland for some unfortunate shit...they ended up just getting back about forty minutes ago. Bittersweetly, Casa Del Weazle was left open to the heir to the kingdom. Went on another mini-bender the first week, played lots of FIFA...gave up drinking for four days...then found out that Island Daiquiri has dollar wells on wednesday so that broke the streak...you know where to find me on wednesdays now....that is until they up it to two dollar wells...then three dollar wells then try to turn it into a family restaurant then ultimately fold under, probably because of my public boycott (see Shamrock's Irish Pub).
To quote Tupac (or Ice Cube or Snoop or someone that rapped with Tupac), "Back to the lecture at hand." In having the house to myself over the past two weeks I have become too good at FIFA. So good that I cannot find a decent game amongst humans. Thats right...just like the chess nerds I have to play computers (well just one) for a decent game....Murray can attest to my dominance...and donnie is too chicken shit to play me...So I decided that I would make it interesting. I hereby publically challenge Donnie to a game of FIFA for cash. He's been ducking me since Christmas...and he has left me no other hand to play but to publicly call him out and bait him with gambling... I am 80% confident that he will still be a puss because his world would implode the day that the proof is in the pudding that I am a better FIFA gamesman and gambler.
Whats up with all this golf talk? Goddamn, lets talk about the traffic on Victory that might be as interesting... Don't get me wrong, I love playing golf...but all this chit chat about some shit i don't even wanna watch on tv if "Best Week Ever" or "Anything of Love" is on VH1, which it usually is...but whatevs post to your little hearts content...i'm the fool for reading it
RickStar Vs BungDynimo 2.0: July 3rd Brawl at the Beach
I'm gonna be honest...don't feel too great about BungDynimo's chances...although RickStar was unable to pin Kid Dynimo in the Beach Bum Warm Up/Wet Down...still not seeing any area where BungDynimo could really have capitalized on his size advantage....However, rumors around the ring have it that Rickstar confessed in a late night locker room tell-all that he was under the influence of a RickStar Energy Drink...and Kid Dynimo was unfortunately hindered by something both Natural and Light...as well has a few chugs of a liquor that could only be described as "taste like suntan lotion." In a video conference, BungDynimo, said he has no plans to slow down on the sauce just on the basis of having the Brawl at the Beach later on. He continued to say that he was not afraid to lose, he just wants to give the BungDynim-ites a good show...Hopefully the SticDicRickStar will keep the emphedamines where they belong, out of the ring and in Effin' Ham County.
That Video of Baby Bunger is ridiculous. I wish I had sound on my computer so I could hear what I was saying. I may be able to go up a tax bracket once those royalty checks start rolling in, cause they are using my likeness without my consent...so i should be able to sue the shit outta them.
Hmmm thats about all for now...I'll prolly be at Hucapoos or windrose tomorrow night, if anyone wants to get up for some drinks...who knows maybe i will get drunk enough to hit on some strange women...and thats usually fun for everyone involved...except the strange woman
9 comments:
Thanks for saving this blog.
Best Bunger post ever.
Some how you managed to make 6 paragraphs one sentence. This is like the long tweet ever!
It was Snoop.
Somewhere JJH4 is laughing again at that last comment.
Explain....Puctuation to...me...please,...Pat.
At least I didnt spend the last 7 years studing it?
Excuse me "studying". I don't wanna get called out again!
Punctuation is used to denote breaks, pauses and ends to sentences. Therefore, everywhere that you see a period (.) a sentence has ended and a new one has begun. Unless, it is followed by two more periods (...) which is called an ellipses which denotes a pause. I didn't know if you actually thought that whole post was one sentence or not. So, I wanted to clarify. No need for any of us to go grammar checking and all, and i am actually sorry that i brought it up. However, I have been studying punctuation since 1990...so that's more like 19 years. And if Walt Whitman could write a paragraph as a sentence, then why shouldn't I? (see "Song of Myself")
"I'm gonna be honest(pause)don't feel too great about BungDynimo's chances (pause) although RickStar was unable to pin Kid Dynimo in the Beach Bum Warm Up/Wet Down (pause) still not seeing any area where BungDynimo could really have capitalized on his size advantage (pause) However, rumors around the ring have it that Rickstar confessed in a late night locker room tell-all that he was under the influence of a RickStar Energy Drink (pause) and Kid Dynimo was unfortunately hindered by something both Natural and Light (pause) as well has a few chugs of a liquor that could only be described as 'taste like suntan lotion.'"
Now (pause) I see.
"And if Walt Whitman could write a paragraph as a sentence, then why shouldn't I?"
Because Walt Witman could write clearly!
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