Top 5

Here are the top 5 stories in sports, that got to go:

1. Timmy Tebow. Reporter at SEC Media Day, "Are you a virgin?" Why yes, in fact he's saving himself for CUM one day. I'm not sure if you guys have heard this or not, but apparently Tebow wasn't unanimously selected 1st Team All SEC QB. ESPN is not happy, and they have proved this by running coverage nonstop for about a week. Spurrier, what are you apologizing for? Tell em you did that shit on purpose, and then maybe you and your Cocks will become relevant in college football. Could you imagine if Tebow played for the Yankees or Red Sox? OMG!!!!

2. Vick. I don't really care what happens at this point. I could try to come up with reason for either side of the argument, but it just isn't that important to me. I just flipped a coin. It was tails, so let him play. That was easy.

3. Lebron getting dunked on. This is it. Yep, NIKE went haywire for that...

4. SportsNation. Where do I start? To quote Cowherd, "This (show) is a complete mess." Now, I'm a Cowherd homer. I think he's great. With that being said, this has got to be, conceptually, one of the worst sports shows EVER. Maybe one of the worst shows, period. However, co-host Michelle Beadle may be the hottest lesbian (allegedly) since Ellen.

5. Tom Watson didn't die or anything. His legs got a little heavy and that putter probably seemed to have weighed 1000 lbs. Hey, guess what? Tiger missed the cut. I bet if you ask people for the two things they'll remember about the 2009 British Open, they will say, "Watson choked and Daily wore some great knickers." Knickers = pants, you yanks.