Norm MacDonald

The whole thing is great but the last half is hilarious.

"And then There's Charles Woodson. How bout that? (applause) He became the first defensive player to win the Hiesman Trophy. And, Charles, no one can take that away from you...unless you kill your wife and her waiter."

Classic! Everything this guy does is gold. See here and here for a 1997 "toast" to President Bill Clinton. Notice how no one is laughing.