Top 5 Jokes of The Decade

Scaring People

In high school, I used to find places to hide, and then jump out at unsuspecting fellow scholars and shock and scare the shit out of them. Of course, it was always funnier for me than it was for them. But that is all that really matters. Barstool caught a glimpse at this form of physical comedy last night, and Shane is easily scared, and thus, one of my favorite targets. I laugh really hard after I scare someone.

Prank Phone Calls

The Jerky Boys and Crank Yankers made a career out of them, and they are just as fun for amateurs. You may be saying, "But Weazle, you were in high school and college for most of the decade." And I say to you, "Yes, prank phone calls were still fun as shit in high school" Nothing beats calling your friends' parents late at night and telling them they have won free vacations and things to that effect. Or inviting people to parties at other peoples' houses...when they weren't having parties. I wouldn't do it now...but it doesn't mean that I don't laugh about it still.
"How many push-ups can your brother do?"

Damon was the climax of a long running joke for the summer of 2001, by 2002 the joke, like all good jokes, had been ran into the ground. Here is the set up:

Someone who has seen the joke play out before: "Hey (insert name here), ask Pat how many push-ups his brother can do"

(Name inserted there): "Hey Pat, how many push ups can your brother do?"

Pat (option one): (aggressively) "OH YOUR REAL FUNNY, MY BROTHER DOESN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING ARMS"

Pat (option two): (timidly) "Ugh my brother doesn't have any arms"

Anyway...a lot of people were shocked to see my brother's two arms when they met him later on.

Funny Websites

The Onion

The internet surely picked up some steam this decade, and has allowed for people to find a quick joke, and no website has served that purpose better than the onion. It possess a consistently high level of humor that can not be matched by any other website on the internet, and if anyone knows of another website that can match up to it, please leave the link in the comment section below.

Viral Videos

Nothing has ruined more lives, and caused more joy in 1-3 minutes than the Star Wars kid. Others were just plain fun: that kid after the dentist, the landlord and being interviewed between two ferns...I would hyberlink them, but I am sure we have all seen them...and I don't feel like going through the process. After all, nothing shows other people how creative and funny you are like posting a video of someone else being creative and funny.

Honorable Mentions

Dicks and Toasters and Shane

Shane: I'm gonna stick my dick in something tonight
Scary: Yea...a toaster
Shane: I'm gonna stick your dick in a toaster
(complete silence)

You probably had to be there; and if you weren't, you missed one of the top comedic performances of the decade.

That's What She Said

It is so easy to do...everyone is doing it...it's not that hard...what an awkward position. Say what you want about it, but I've done it a thousand times, and it is still fun.


Songs About Telling a Lover That You Gave Her AIDS

I'm not one to toot my own horn...but toot toot. Just last weekend, someone approached me at a bar and said, "Didn't you sing a song about giving a girl AIDS at the old Shamrock's Bar?" I have done stand up a few times, and this is definitely the bit that sticks with people the longest...just like AIDS.

Funny Television Shows and Funny Movies
"Well, this is pretty important how did it end up in the honorable mentions?" Well asshole, funny tv shows and funny movies have been around forever...I'm looking for fresh things from the past decade.

Funny Things To Look Forward To:
Coming in the Next Decade

-Donnie's wife and kids
-Hologram comedians in your living room
-the apocalypse in 2012
-all of us losing (more) hair