"Only in the Office": #637

Weazle,

Thanks for the kind words.

Love,

Joey

Yesterday, I became a quarter century old. Guys like Ric have found the fountain of youth, but I keep getting older and possibly wiser. With that being said, I'd like to think that I'm... except the female part. When I came in to this world, 25 years ago, I created 4 bucket lists. That's correct, I could write at age 1 minute. For my first 25 years, I really wanted to set the pace for greatness. Just to highlight a few...

- Win a Championship (check)
The White Sox were a team of winners, at least for the moment. We were on a mission, we all knew our roles, and we couldn't have been older than 11. Damon was our go to guy to make opposing players cry. He always knew the right strings to pluck -- sitting on second base as he mimicked eating rice and shouting 'wooo chop chop' to a young Asian boy warming up between innings. Gilpin did his best to make the throw from his second base position to first. Ian threw about 95 mph. And for a season, I was Cal Ripken.

- Date a Hinchey (check)
Fourth grade. I was a stud.

- Successfully jump 5 consecutive parking meters (check)
My high jump days are behind me now, but there was a stretch in which I was certain I could jump over a car. However, since that time, I fear that I may not be able to clear a step without landing on my head. Bunger and Shane witnessed the jump that "went wrong" on Tybee. Once they realized I had full use of my legs, we all had a good laugh. I'll be back one day.

- Befriend Keenan (check)
If you wanna know why that's so awesome, just ask him.

- Travel north of North Carolina (check)
3 times, but once was a enough, especially when places like New Orleans aren't up there. Sorry, Bunger.

- Go to bars (check)
Matt's Back Door Bar - Yes, I entered in the rear just like the sign on the door said. I was drunk and provoked. Isn't that how most gay encounters start? Don't worry nothing happened. Just beers and lisps. It turns out, you don't have to be scared of gay people. Before, I figured they all had some "itis" that was contagious, but not so.

Scandals - Where's a better place to win a 4 or 5 game parlay? No where, but Scandals. When there was feuding between Shane and Benny's, who took us in? Scandals did.

~~Generals~~ Boars Head - High Life and shuffle board -- That's all I need.

The Rail - Super duper happy hour that can lead to a very drunk Joey. There's nothing about that place that I don't like. Stuffy bar, stuffy people, and homemade tacos. Put bourbon in a small fish bowl in front of me, and I become, as Bunger affectionately puts it, "goofy". I can hold my on, damnit. Mr. Bunger can hold his own as well...

- Create a rap group (check)