Coming Clean

Baseball, cheaters, heartbreak. Have you guy's heard about the Alex Rodriguez thing? News too me. In the wake of these scandalous and shocking revelations, my guilt has been rising and sleep time dropping. You guys, I have a secret. From 1999 to 2000, I used steroids and other performance enhancing drugs.

Yes, I was a cheater, but I would like you take a step back and look at this from my perspective. From the age of 4 to 14, I was a career .689 hitter, 24 HRs (3 clearing the fence), 268 RBIs, and speed was never a problem -- 352 stolen bases. My dad called me a "young Dykstra", boy was he right on the money.

Enter in high school, Benedictine, the baseball mothership of Savannah. Talent abounds. It didn't come as easy as it used to. Guys worked out and practiced. Practice! I'm all about the pretty girls, but bicep curls, come on. I needed to turn my warning track power into Big Mac attack. I elicited the help of some Cadets with "questionable" character. They obliged. I will not reveal names, I have my reasons.

It hit me. Still no heavy weights, but lots of gurlygirls (323). I turned into a power hitter, feared by a few and respected by several. I got mad a lot and beat a lot of people up. I became "that guy" in the locker room. That just comes with taking steroids, bros. I spun hundreds of caps in BP and dropped a few cup sizes. It was worth it. Ahh, can you say Glynn Academy? I still hold the record for longest homerun in Glynn Field history. And I owe it all to sticking needles in my butt. So, don't tell me juicin' wasn't worth it!!!