Tybee gets a D-

You all should know, I bring my A game when I'm on Tybee, but if a running event wasn't bad enough, Tybee tried to throw me and Murray in the slammer last night. For nothing. Let's face it, I'm badass enough to handle my own in jail, but I don't know if I can say the same for Murray. He's a tenderheart.

Would you like to here the reckless/criminal shit we were doing? We were night putting, putting at night. Just kidding, I was trying to get the radar on Butler to clock my speed as I ran past. Top speed of 22 mph, I might add. Deputy Dog comes screeching up, and Murray says, 'you wanna run?' Haha, Murray. You're the best. DD is power trippin like a mutherfucker. He starts accusing my bro of hiding some "shit" in the bushes. And I thought the bartenders at Bennie's were bitches, but this guy is douchiery than Roy without the Circuit Breakers. Tybee's finest swarm in seconds. "He may have peed back there, so be on the look out", DD shouted. Right, are you sure there's nothing else you could be doing? Have you already filed you tax return? You might wanna check out Fannies 'cause I heard girls were kissing each other. Yuck! "Sims, put your hands behind your back." This asshole cannot be serious right now. He wasn't. Ohhh, thanks for sparing me! I'm definitely going to start fresh and just get better. This is a turning point in my life, no more fun!

Oh, you ran out of bullshit to throw at us? That's cool, don't sweat wasting our time just because you're trying to act like a real police officer. Wait, a real police officer would have recognize the fact that no crime was being committed, other than maybe being too competitive. As far as I can tell, there is no law against that yet, just ask Arod. I'll just continue to put up with the fact that the police force on Tybee is loaded with a bunch of fucking morons. I guess you gotta take the bad with all of that good. I sorta forgive you for now, Tybee, but I certainly won't forget. You just better keep those pancake butts coming this Spring, ohhhh yeahhhh!!!