Welcome back. No time for bullshit, so.... this years Biggest Disappointment goes to:
Barstool!!!!!
To say that Barstool was a disappointment in 2008 would be quite a stretch, mostly because, as all of schiv's girlfriends know, you can't be disappointed if you don't expect much. What did disappoint however was the outrageous fact that he was not kicked off of the "world famous" OITA. Lets take a look.
Some time around August barstool seems to have stolen the reigns of this thriving blog and, with posts dedicated to shitty sitcoms and culinary creations, tried (unsuccessfully!) to steer it into the asshole of Tinkie Winkie. He has disgraced every member of the blogosphere and his un-reprimanded behavior is the reason why he is the front runner for the 2009 "For Real We Appreciate You" award resilience.
Up next, the award for the Underdog Blog of the Year goes to...
Diamonds are Forever!!!
First off, you guys might be sayin, 'hey, what about OITO?'; 'This is an abomination!' Calm down babies! We are top dogs in this arena. We were that no name blog back in '07, took a nap most of '08, and now we shock and awe all of you. In the mean time, lets talk about Diamonds are Forever. The main focus of this blog is an all time great wrestler. This man is an ICON. Hey Slic, give yourself a self high-five for creating such a shrine to a legend of this caliber. An underdog salute to an underdog champion.
I'm afraid of what my happen to me after writing that one. Moving on, this is an award that is near and dear to my heart because I like music. The award for Band of the Year goes to...
Ocean Street!!!!
How about best band in the western hemi... that has ever been in existence. These guys are a fusion of Maroon 5, Alabama, the Eagles, and the Jonas Bros with a dash of Genesis and that Mraz guy. Still not hooked? Can you say acoustic version!?!? Summer Tour 2009, prepare to dance your hearts out.
The winner of the Best Bar/Restaurant Award is...
Willie's Weenie Wagon, Brunswick, GA!!!
These weenies "spin a cap". In the words of Damon Smith, why would you "chew on a bumper", when you can chew on one of Willie's weenies. Uh oh. I guess I should explain that one. Damon always said that Curley's teeth were very small because he chewed on car bumpers. Curley is as passionate about this place as he is about Connecticut or that picture of that country singer on his desk. I hit a homerun one time, then I hit a homerun at Willie's with a #3 combo! Two weenies, onion rings, and a Minute Maid Grape Drink. Right next door to Willie's Wagon is the Mike Hall Memorial, commemorating his 27 homeruns & 82 RBIs during a weekend baseball tourney. Back, back, back, back, gone.
A lot of bad/funny stuff happened in 2008. Here's the winner for the Catastrophe of '08...
Keenan!!!
This guy was middle of the pack at best until this summer, then began to taper off. Yikes, cue December, no the month. Boy, I didn't even mean for that to happen, but it did anyways. Not bad, Joey. Let's go back to summer 08. He's never been one to shy away from a Tybee time, and I guess he was lookin to "air things out a bit". He drinks a little, tries to fight me, drinks, unbuttons the top 3 buttons on his shirt, and boom. P Lowe, you're welcome. Next thing K knows, they're cookin eggs and bacon at Sunrise and he's curled up on the front steps. Somehow this becomes my fault. No I didn't leave you, you left your brain in the toilet at Sand Bar. Fast forward to Christmas Vacation. No one in Savannah got swagga like him. Apparently they don't teach dentists how to communicate with other dentists. I'm just sayin, I can't find many things wrong that month or girls named after that month. New Years Eve = a night single guys would like to forget.
We're still friends, don't worry. Say your prayers you filthy animals because I'm about to announce the winner(s)...
Oswald "Ozzie" Kennedy
No relation to Brennan, but regardless DGD. So what if his owners hate him. Ozzy sets of fireworks as soon as he enters the room; well no, you might have to rub his belly first, but then, red rockets a blaze. He's a good dog and a PTPer. He was up against some stiff competition. Ha stiff. Mitch's dogs were a close 2nd, and they were runners up only because I don't like the way the fat one looks at me.
Halftime
Back and better than ever. The winner for 2008's Post of the Year is...
Tech Fan Tuesday by Rick!!!
I really tried to think of some funny stuff to say about this post, but the post says it all. This is shear genius. To think that Asians rule the streets of Midtown Atlanta sounds like a ole wise tale, right? Just wait until a Fast and the Furious car, anime blastin & neon lights aplenty, races by, and you get knocked in the head with a SoCo bottle. They no play with you. There's three things that Asians love, that they can find in ATL & one thing they can't: calculus, Von Dutch hats, Coke, and Shaquille O'Neal (respectively).
The award for List/Top 5 of the Year goes to...
Wait, I don't even get a nod at my own Award Show? What is this, amateur fucking hour? I'll show you guys, Evil Carrel_Fan in '09!!!
The winner of the Best Bar/Restaurant Award is...
Willie's Weenie Wagon, Brunswick, GA!!!
These weenies "spin a cap". In the words of Damon Smith, why would you "chew on a bumper", when you can chew on one of Willie's weenies. Uh oh. I guess I should explain that one. Damon always said that Curley's teeth were very small because he chewed on car bumpers. Curley is as passionate about this place as he is about Connecticut or that picture of that country singer on his desk. I hit a homerun one time, then I hit a homerun at Willie's with a #3 combo! Two weenies, onion rings, and a Minute Maid Grape Drink. Right next door to Willie's Wagon is the Mike Hall Memorial, commemorating his 27 homeruns & 82 RBIs during a weekend baseball tourney. Back, back, back, back, gone.
A lot of bad/funny stuff happened in 2008. Here's the winner for the Catastrophe of '08...
Keenan!!!
This guy was middle of the pack at best until this summer, then began to taper off. Yikes, cue December, no the month. Boy, I didn't even mean for that to happen, but it did anyways. Not bad, Joey. Let's go back to summer 08. He's never been one to shy away from a Tybee time, and I guess he was lookin to "air things out a bit". He drinks a little, tries to fight me, drinks, unbuttons the top 3 buttons on his shirt, and boom. P Lowe, you're welcome. Next thing K knows, they're cookin eggs and bacon at Sunrise and he's curled up on the front steps. Somehow this becomes my fault. No I didn't leave you, you left your brain in the toilet at Sand Bar. Fast forward to Christmas Vacation. No one in Savannah got swagga like him. Apparently they don't teach dentists how to communicate with other dentists. I'm just sayin, I can't find many things wrong that month or girls named after that month. New Years Eve = a night single guys would like to forget.
We're still friends, don't worry. Say your prayers you filthy animals because I'm about to announce the winner(s)...
Oswald "Ozzie" Kennedy
No relation to Brennan, but regardless DGD. So what if his owners hate him. Ozzy sets of fireworks as soon as he enters the room; well no, you might have to rub his belly first, but then, red rockets a blaze. He's a good dog and a PTPer. He was up against some stiff competition. Ha stiff. Mitch's dogs were a close 2nd, and they were runners up only because I don't like the way the fat one looks at me.
Halftime
Back and better than ever. The winner for 2008's Post of the Year is...
Tech Fan Tuesday by Rick!!!
I really tried to think of some funny stuff to say about this post, but the post says it all. This is shear genius. To think that Asians rule the streets of Midtown Atlanta sounds like a ole wise tale, right? Just wait until a Fast and the Furious car, anime blastin & neon lights aplenty, races by, and you get knocked in the head with a SoCo bottle. They no play with you. There's three things that Asians love, that they can find in ATL & one thing they can't: calculus, Von Dutch hats, Coke, and Shaquille O'Neal (respectively).
The award for List/Top 5 of the Year goes to...
Don's, Au Revoir, Athens!!!
This was a really close one for me and Murray. I gotta say, JJH4, PMac, Don, and Carrel bring their A games win it comes to Top 5. In the end, the deciding factor was "Top 5 Rick Moments", which was just a part of Don's post. And to start a post with POLS has got to be difficult for you, since it sounds so similar to Mols. No guts, no glory, I guess.
Just 2 more gold stars to go, and no one is happier than me. This was a terrible idea. The winner of the Blogger of the Year is...
Rick, Patrick M, and Ally!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love me some me. This has got to be the most unlikely three-way ever. The relationship between these three couldn't be described any better than by Cowherd, calling it "a dumpster fire". No doubt Rick played the good cop and P played the bad cop when luring Al pal. These three really brought some excitement to a blog that "was really starting to bleaux". I never know what they're doing. As we speak, they could be arguing about Stafford and his impact on UGA F-ball, all the while doing the "Eiffel Tower". Too soon?
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for...
Now that's a Big Dawg
The winner of the Big Dawg of the Year, 2008 is...
Andrew Jackson!!!!
"Will you be quiet!?!" - AJ turned Tybee times into Tybee memories. Yes, his "he who cares the least" attitude was popular with the brotherdom. I can see him now, sitting in the corner of Bernie's drinking a sprite, and telling Bunger how much he loved him. AJ had a James Dean thing going on. It's not that he wore a leather jacket because he didn't. The thing is, AJ could be dead and he was too Big Dawg to even say goodbye. He reminds us of that badass mofo back in high school, you know, the one who would leave parties absolutely hammered drunk. And everyone would say, 'what a crazy ass!' Ahh yes, now when something badass happens, we all sit back and say 'that's sooo Andrew Jackson'. He only needed three things: an acoustic guitar, his dentures, and everyone to be quiet. Here's to you Andrew Jackson, our 2008 Big Dawg.
This was a really close one for me and Murray. I gotta say, JJH4, PMac, Don, and Carrel bring their A games win it comes to Top 5. In the end, the deciding factor was "Top 5 Rick Moments", which was just a part of Don's post. And to start a post with POLS has got to be difficult for you, since it sounds so similar to Mols. No guts, no glory, I guess.
Just 2 more gold stars to go, and no one is happier than me. This was a terrible idea. The winner of the Blogger of the Year is...
Rick, Patrick M, and Ally!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love me some me. This has got to be the most unlikely three-way ever. The relationship between these three couldn't be described any better than by Cowherd, calling it "a dumpster fire". No doubt Rick played the good cop and P played the bad cop when luring Al pal. These three really brought some excitement to a blog that "was really starting to bleaux". I never know what they're doing. As we speak, they could be arguing about Stafford and his impact on UGA F-ball, all the while doing the "Eiffel Tower". Too soon?
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for...
Now that's a Big DawgThe winner of the Big Dawg of the Year, 2008 is...
Andrew Jackson!!!!
"Will you be quiet!?!" - AJ turned Tybee times into Tybee memories. Yes, his "he who cares the least" attitude was popular with the brotherdom. I can see him now, sitting in the corner of Bernie's drinking a sprite, and telling Bunger how much he loved him. AJ had a James Dean thing going on. It's not that he wore a leather jacket because he didn't. The thing is, AJ could be dead and he was too Big Dawg to even say goodbye. He reminds us of that badass mofo back in high school, you know, the one who would leave parties absolutely hammered drunk. And everyone would say, 'what a crazy ass!' Ahh yes, now when something badass happens, we all sit back and say 'that's sooo Andrew Jackson'. He only needed three things: an acoustic guitar, his dentures, and everyone to be quiet. Here's to you Andrew Jackson, our 2008 Big Dawg.
Wait, I don't even get a nod at my own Award Show? What is this, amateur fucking hour? I'll show you guys, Evil Carrel_Fan in '09!!!
3 comments:
if anybody read this blog, I might be concerned
you read it
That was a pretty weak acceptance speech, Schiv. I expect much more from a wity guy like you.
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