NBA Baby

- That Miami mess looked bad last night. Uh oh, I think they're done, and it's only a matter of time until Pat Riley takes the reigns.

- Yao Ming is back mutherfuckers

- Gilbert Arenas has taken his Agent 0 status to new levels after disguising himself as an injured player during the preseason. What will he do next?

- The Nets can sell tickets, even when they're less than a dollar.

- Did Greg Oden die?

- Hawks tonight. No joke, I wasn't sure that Memphis still had a team, but the turns out the Grizzlies are still hoopin it there. Mike Woodson is gone, so that'll put a couple more in the win column. Joe Johnson was a bad resign, but what do I know? Well, I know that 6 years and 119 million is a lot to spend on a guy that will completely hand cuff an offense and quit on his team in the playoffs. Prediction: They still win 50 games, but none when it matters.

- Top 5 players in the NBA:
5. Lebron
4. Dwight Howard
3. Rondo
2. Kevin Durant
1. Kobe

- Here's to another season of Charles Barkley...

Queensbridge is still in the building.

Amen

OITO would consider backing Jimmy McMillan financially, but the damn rent is too damn high.

Quick and Dirty

-Passed on Avett Bros in NashVegas with my bro and sis-in-law this Halloween Weekend for Ga-Fla...hope I don't regret that one. Arch said last Halloween The Avetts dressed up as The Three Amigos.

- Since everyone jumped on my Avett Brothers train, I had to find a less populated one. Felice Brothers in Atlanta in less then a month...see ya there?

-I've been having a delightful morning on Pandora's Felice Brothers Station.

-Basketball Tryouts starts today....Merry Christmas

-Krispy Kreme is too good. The glazed guys are good, but my top two are sour creme kruellers and chocolate iced cream filled.

-Had a blast at "The P.Lowestra" on Saturday...that is a play on the historic basketball arena, The Palestra, in Philly. It is like a cathedral of basketball...a real gem. If I had time to link it, I would...google it yourself though.

- Old Crow Medecine Show just popped up on Pandora...they are amazing...I need to get a Mumford Sons album, but I still think these guys are better than them.

- My plate seems to have too much on it with teaching, coaching, home-making, and ruckus-causing...but I actually am in the process of starting an improv troupe here, for my Smashers. Could be amazingly awesome.

-There's the bell...gotta run.

-Peace and Hairgrease

Good News All Around

Cute!

Congratulations Andrew and Brannnnnddddiiiiiii!!!

Cuter?

In other news, I'll be in Savannah starting Aug. '11 because I muscled all of my pussy classmates out of the Savannah clinical spots. Me and Hinchey's dad are going do lunch often, and I'll share with him my ideas on what my signing bonus should be upon graduation. Self high five!

Two for Tuesday

Two posts!!!

1. It's been a week since the Braves exited the playoffs. Lots of bad defense and good pitching. That's about all I can say about that. Bobby Cox is an all time great. He took a really team/organization and turned it into, with the help of GMJS, a perennial playoff contender. I was at Game 3 of the Divisional Series. It's probably completely unfair to do this, but I think that game can pretty much sum up this season and possibly the past 20 years: great pitching keeps us close, not much offense, a scrappy guy makes a play, heartbreak.

So since there's no Braves baseball to watch, here's what I'm watching:

- Conspiracy Theory with your host: Fmr. Governor Jessie "the Body" Ventura. I knew it all a long man; they're out to get us man. They've got our houses tapped and that old lady next door is always looking at me weird man.

Swamp People - 'Nuff said.

Eastbound & Down - There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.



2. We're learning about traumatic brain injuries right now. It's some pretty interesting stuff until you actually have to work with someone with a traumatic brain injury. They aren't very nice, and probably for good reason. There's all sorts of ways that a person can present, but here's an example of a guy I was evaluating today...



So, this guy in the video was a little bit nicer than the fella I talked with. He has a problem called Wernicke's Aphasia. It's a problem that affects the brains ability to comprehend and produce coherent speech. The guy in the video can still understand what the lady is saying, but when he speaks, nothing concrete comes out. The guy I was working with today told me this after I asked him his name, "I got to rocks and have times for in that it stood in a river." Okay. This went on for some time. He knows what he wants to say, but he can't comprehend what is coming out and therefore doesn't understand why I'm making the bitter beer face. I think I'll stick with broken bones and repaired shoulders/knees for now...

This series was exhausting.

State of The Weazle

I'm great, thanks for asking. I was watching Fried Green Tomatoes this past weekend, while grading papers; and, I heard a line that I thought fit my life right now. "I'm too old to be young, and too young to be old." That is sort of the inspiration behind the song at the top of the post. Also, Sonny and The Sunsets are pretty sweet. Oh, anyone with the music channel Paladiam, I believe on Wednesday, they will be airing the footage from the new Avett Brother's live album. The title of the program, so you can record it, is "The Avett Brothers Live: Volume Three"...I think. Yes Murray, I will save it on the DVR for you.

So, I do believe you all know that I got a new house, and a new school. I took it relatively easy this weekend to square away some work and home things. If any of yall think you are creepy, you ain't creepy like me until you show up at The Dollar Tree too early on a Saturday morning. That's right; I went to The Dollar Tree at 8:45, and they don't open until 9...slackers.

I believe by Friday I may be on top of everything again. It is nice to be getting my legs back underneath me, and I can't wait until the day I don't have anything I have to do for school or to keep my house from falling down or being repo-ed.

I'm going to be head coach of the freshman basketball team, so I've been practicing my "cut speech." How does this sound, "We really don't need you...you should go try out for wrestling though, so people will think twice about telling you how bad you are at basketball."

I joined a writing club with some people I had English courses with at Armstrong. It is really cool. I feel like I am sharpening my ax for the classroom.

I have recently been rejuvinated by my new teaching strategy/philosophy. I will spare you the details for the time being. It seems to be working pretty well in the classroom. I no longer feel like I am herding cats.

I have been broadening my horizons, socially. I don't think it is any suprise or secret to anyone that the "old crew" hasn't really been rocking and rolling, like she used to. I guess it just makes it more special when we do get a group of us together. Unless yall are just having No-Weazle Parties, then screw you.

Since I have moved to West Thunderbolt (my new town), I have come to realize something. Donnie was right. Wilmington Island sucks. Sure it is a nice place to stay, if you want to be 95% sure that you won't get robbed. But, nothing beats the convenience of Midtown. Also, the restaurants of Wilmington get old fast. Plus, have you seen the people that live down there?



They're living in their white-bread world.

About Last Night

This is what we saw:



So, what did Paul Emmel see?


It was Jerrrryyy, mannnn. "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear a flower in your hair."

!?!?

Infante is on the take.

Goin Out West

That's a song that WSP covers, but that's not what we're talking about here...



Damnit Jim, we're talking about the playoffs! Some teams played yesterday, but for me, the MLB playoff baseball starts tonight at 9:37.



I'm not sure if some things are "just meant to be", but I do know I will enjoy some meaningful Braves baseball for as long as they keep it going. Keep those sinkers down D Lowe and let's get a win.

East Coast > West Coast

Braves Regular Season Grades

The playoffs start today, and that's the only mention they will get in this post. Atlanta had a head scratcher of a year -- they played really well for some significant stretches and really really bad for some stretches. Coming into the season, expectations were high and for pretty good reason. Top to bottom: the starting 5, starting lineup, bullpen, and bench all looked really solid. But based on the past couple of seasons, not being embarrassed was my biggest hope for the team.

Pitching:

Starting with the rotation...The Braves have some impressive arms in their rotation. Who knew Tim Hudson could win 17 games a year removed from elbow surgery? Outside of a horrible month of September (1-4, 5+ ERA, 7 HR against the Nats, Cards, Mets, and Pirates), Hudson was a top 3-5 pitcher in the NL. Derek Lowe upsets me. For the first 3 months of the season, he skated by with lots of run support and racked up 9 wins. In July and August, he gave up a lot of hits and runs to some bad teams (2-6). September rolls around and he's arguably the best pitcher in baseball, so going forward, who are we going to see? Tommy Hanson is young, and with youth comes inconsistency. His record doesn't show how well he pitched during the year. Not a lot of run support and several blow saves hurt him. Medlen was great, and I just hope he can come back at or near the same level of effectiveness. Minor/Beachy were surprisingly good. You can't really ask these guys to do a ton, but they took the ball and notched some good innings. It's not really fair to evaluate Jair Jurrjens because of all the injuries. I think it is fair to say that a healthy Jurrjens wins quite a few more ball games for the Braves this past season. It's funny to think that if anyone other than Kawakami makes his 18 starts (yes 18), the Braves may have won the East...well maybe it isn't that funny. All in all, I think the current rotation gives Atlanta a solid chance to win each night.
Grade: B

Batting:

The bats could do no wrong from May to mid/late August. Zero offense in September made for some tense moments done the stretch. Plain and simple, Prado, McCann, Heyward, and even Infante can hit. They can hit well. All hit for consistent average, well maybe with Heyward being the exception, but I blame that on a thumb that still isn't right. Those four always seemed to come up with the "timely" hit when needed. Troy Glaus was a monster for the month of May. His knees and plate approach have been on extended summer vacation since. Brookes Conrad and Eric Hinske hit and hit well when given the chance. Melky is an idiot (see defense comments below). But give him a 2-0 or 3-1 fastball and he's spinning caps -- no breaking balls por favor. Nate McLouth...not sure what to say here. Maybe he just needed a few more ABs. Chipper was starting to warm up just before the injury, so we'll see how this rehab thing goes. Overall, this was a typical Braves season in the batter's box... not a lot of HRs or big RBI guys, but timely hitting and good pinch hitting. Of course, a team on-base % of .340 helps your cause...
Grade: B+


Defense:

Piss poor all season long. This was supposed to be the one "sure thing". Far from it. McLouth forgot how to make the throw from center to home. All infielders, and I mean all of them, really had trouble with routine plays, and that cost Atlanta quite a few games. For God's sake, can we please position Melky guarding the line or in the gap? I know that's not really possible, but we've all seen what happens when a ball is hit right at him. Alex Gonzalez may have had a rough year defensively, but I think it's safe to say that Escobar would have done no worse. McCann is a great hitter, so that's good because I think he threw out about 2% of all base stealers...the rest of those throws ended up in right-center.
Grade: D-

Bullpen:

The strongest in the league, in my opinion. A bunch of great arms, and they did a great job of eating up innings when needed and closing out games. Venters, Moylan, O'Flaherty, and Kimbrel should be locked down for years. Billy Wagner says he won't be back, and I believe him. It's a shame, but I think Kimbrel can be the guy for a long time. Send Farnsworth packing.
Grade: A


I'm critical because I care.

Individual Awards:

Best Bullpen Pitcher - Venters/Wagner

Best Rookie - Heyward (with Venters a lot closer than you think)

Biggest Surprise - Infante

Biggest Disappointment - 6-9 against the Pirates and Nationals in 2nd half of the season

Best Starting Pitcher - Hudson

MVP - Prado

"They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothing."

Makin it Rain(ey)

So, a few tests and lots of bull shit school work have kept me from making fun of this guy for a couple of weeks. Time's up. As many of you know, Chris Rainey was a super retarded fast WR/RB for the Gators. But his girl was straight buggin, so recently his focus has been off the field. Well, Rainey decided thrextin (threatening texts?...might be a stretch) his girl would be the best way to communicate his displeasure with her. Turns out, you are allowed to text folks messages like, "Time to die". Rainey was arrested and charged with stalking, and needless to say, he's not playing football for the Gators right now.

You're asking, "So what?" Well, I'm going to miss this guy if he doesn't find some way to get back on the field or more importantly, in front of a microphone. Over the past few years this guy has been the Ozzie Guillen of college football. Just a month or so before the season, Rainey felt the Gators were locked in more so than ever, and he told reporters, "I guess we got rid of the prima donnas -- all the selfish cats." Umm, did you forget the most inspired speech ever?!? Yea, so come up with your own 3 minute run-on sentence, and then come talk to us. Anyways, CUM took Chris Rainey's media privileges away.

CUM on Rainey (pre-arrest): "Inappropriate, wrong, non-thought out, which he does quite often," Meyer said in the wake of the "prima donnas" quip. "I love Chris Rainey, but when I ask him a question, I give him a whole day to think about it and write it down 100 times."

You know what I got out of that? CUM is kinda funny. Naturally, this wasn't the first time Rainey said something that left the coaching staff shaking their heads and everyone else laughing (except white girls). Rainey wasted little time after arriving in Gainesville and wanted everyone, especially the sno-bunnies, to know where he stood... "Every time you see a fine girl, you see another fine girl better than her. Some people like different color girls and stuff like that. I'm a white girl man." And a star was born...

Thursday night done right!

My Picks: a week late and a dollar short

*
NFC

East: The Birds
South: NOLA
North: Vikes
West: Cards
Wild Card: G-Men

AFC

East: J-e-t-s Jets Jets Jets
South: Colts
North: Ravens
West: Chargers
Wild Card: New England

Super Bowl: Eagles vs. Jets

Champion: Eagles

They call me "Weazle" but you can call me "Homer"

*This is all stipulated by the fact that Andy Reid is doing what I think he is doing by pretending to be all about Kolb just for next week to see if he is they qb of the future, and if he isn't, Vick is the qb that brings a Super Bowl to the Illadelph.

The NFL Season

NFC:
East - Dallas
South - New Orleans
North - Green Bay
West - San Francisco
Wild Card - Atlanta, Minnesota

AFC:
East - New England
South - Tennessee
North - Baltimore
West - San Diego
Wild Card - Indianapolis, Pittsburgh


Super Bowl Prediction:

Tennessee Titans v Green Bay Packers

Packers win, 35-26

My Thoughts on the A.J. Green Suspension

I find it a rather corrupt and disturbing event when the NCAA officials suspended A.J. for four games for selling his jersey for one thousand dollars. The very NCAA officials that decided to punish Mr. Green make their paycheck based on the talent and work of players such as Mr. Green. What kind of people get fat and rich off of the free labor of other people? Slave owners.

At the same time, if all NCAA athletes were given a stipend based on need, incidents such as this would be much less likely to occur. These student-athletes put as much time into their sports as the average professional does, and then have to go to class.

So why would you not allow these athletes to receive 10% or 5% of the overall revenue, for an industry which they generate 90% to 95% of the revenue? Easy...there wouldn't be enough money for the NCAA officials. And by enough, I mean what they deem to be enough money. The same reason slave owners and textile mill owners didn't want slavery to be abolished. "You cut out the free labor, our bottom line is going to shrink."

As long as people percieve what the NCAA officials are doing is legitimate, they won't be able to open their eyes and see that this predominate occurance in American society isn't much different than a sweat shop in Indonisia.

You may think I am grasping at straws here, and I am not saying that they are exactly the same. But, the similarities are there. At the very least, I hope you walk away from this realizing what pieces of shit the NCAA officials are that penalize any student-athlete, in any way, when that student-athlete lines the all mighty NCAA officials' pockets. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOO?

P.S. Anymouse...feel free to release this to the AP.

Boise State > most of the field

I know they don't play anybody, and I have cared less and less each year. I'm pulling for Boise State tonight because they're more interesting than Ohio State and Texas. I'm not jumping on any wagon, and I am not asking anybody to do the same. Their level of competition is nothing compared to any of the big conferences, that's no secret, so spare me that argument. Boise State has done their part each of the last couple seasons: win 25 of their last 26 games. They have been given this one and only chance (through their #3 preseason ranking). Now, go and earn it.

Lose: OK. The debate is over.

Win: Uh oh BCS.

Let the Brent Musburger show begin!

"The wait is over."

That's what those d-bags, Hartzell and David Johnston, said over and over this morning on the Ref. "Go to Chic fil A and tell 'em, 'the wait is over', and they'll give you a free chicken biscuit." So I made a little detour on my way outta Athens this morning. Well, lost in the shuffle of: Johnston harping on Boise State's weak schedule, Hartzell mentioning soccer on the top 5 days of the year, and the girl at Chic fil A saying "my pleasure" 10 times in a 1 minute drive thru experiences, I received no free anything because only one Chic fil A was doing that whole giveaway in the first place, and I wasn't at it (was that a run-on sentence?). Thanks douches.

All of my readers are playing saying, "Enough already, quit with all your made up stories." Shut up, the wait is over. College football is back, babies. There's a huge slate of games tonight featuring teams like: USC (Ric's), USC (formally Ric's?), and Utah. What else can I say? I couldn't care less about any of these teams, but that doesn't matter. Tonight is just a sign of things to come, and this season is going to interesting on many fronts. But, those other fronts not called Georgia will have to wait for another post.

Always knew CMR had a sense of humor

UGA has a new QB, D, and tailgating rules. Things are looking up. But wait, you're telling me this QB is an upgrade from last year? This D, on paper, is supposed to get after the football? And that stuff about tailgating wasn't true?! Well, two out of three ain't all bad, and life after Prince Miller and Bryan Evans does go on. Saturday will show us what this team is capable of, but hopefully not all of what they are capable of. Don't peak too early Georgia. Reports have been swirling that, since his arrest/suspension, Washaun Ealey has lost the 2 kids he ate during the off season...so that's good. And, Caleb King has successfully read blitzing defenders off the edge in scrimmages as well as children's stories after practice. It's gonna be a good season.

Throw it to him. He's good.

Topics for upcoming posts:

- The government is giving away money! I'm going to bet with it.
- Boise State will play in the Nat'l Title...just ask Jesse. That rose is waiting for the Broncos.
- Erin Andrews gets what she wants (i.e. Dance Contests, Gordon Beckham, and the all new first hour of Gameday)

Topics for possible future posts:

- Dawgs are rolling, and I told you so.
- Dawgs are terrible, and I told you so.
- Lane Kiffin back to the Raiders?!
- Hey Jimmy Johnson: Let's go back to NOLA!

No Title

And the Video of the Year goes to...



This is not work safe, but it is pretty funny. Who knew Wendy was such a hooker? I'm sure Dave Thomas is turning over in his grave.

"Texts From Last Night"

(912):

"Destiny's braces"

Now, I'm not too sure who Destiny or Destiny's braces are, but gurl do have some gleamin' ass teeth. I wanted so bad to respond to this obvious case of a "owweee shoot, I got da wrong number" text, but I did not. I'm sure her mother would have informed me that Destiny's teeth been had been messed up for a minute.

Go 'head Destiny. Go 'head gurl.

Back to Work 2.0: Weazle Edition

Somethings I have realized in the last two days of work:

- I am really not good at making bulletin boards. Last year, I inherited a room that already had them...and making them is not fun. You have to cut out each letter then laminate them. I have taken bulletin boards for granted my entire life.

- Waking up at 6:15 is for the birds.

- Getting done with work at 3:15 is pretty rad though

-This year I have off March 17th and 18th..."pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty good"- Larry David

- Last year was entirely too easy of a year to have as a "first year of teaching"...this year is going to make up for it.

-My new home, alias, The BungerDome, is gonna be ready for me to move in on September 15th and I can't wait. I am currently taking applications for tennants. Buzz Troughton has already put in a verbal offer. We shall see. Could be a really good time. Midtown is shaping up to become the Tybee Island from the begining of the millenium...the place to be.

- Road trips I am looking forward to this fall: The Felice Brothers in Atlanta on 11/6 and the Georgia game in Ric's town.

- I can't wait for next summer...only 186 work days to go.

Back to work

The song has nothing to do with the following. With one week of school under my belt, the fun police have officially taken away my summer. Yeah, I worked about 9 to 10 hrs M-F over the summer, but I would do that for free for 8 more weeks than sit through Applied Neuroscience and Womens Health Issues. One of my text books is entitled Beyond Kegels. Should be informative and fun, right?

Best Brunswick memory: Redneck Sundae; Allan's BBQ in Brunswick knows that every budding, on the go businessman needs their pork, cole slaw, and baked beans in one large styrofoam cup. Forget ice cream and cake. Give me pig, cabbage, and beans...and layer them for aesthetics.

Worst Brunswick memory: The radio and feet.

- Vic Mell/Walsh Tourney was awful. I feel certain that I don't fly out of that cart if Jack and I are having a better time. Let me play at Mary Calder and give me more beer.
- Really funny show.
- Avett Bros in Atl sounds nice.
- Lee = Glaus at the plate; The only difference is the area of the body that they each hurt.
- Remember these dates: 9/16 and 9/26
- Terry Reid's Superlungs was a good find on iTunes.
- Bunger, how's the crib?
- Anybody doing fantasy fb?

High Five BP

Congrats on all your hard work. Admit it, you learned a lot from Zack Morris and friends at Bayside High....

There Could Be a New Turtle in This Race

I said everything I wanted to say in the title.

Bill still wants things done his way.

Thanks to yahoo.com and some free time this morning, I can share with you what Bill Clinton wants to accomplish before he "kicks the bucket". Get excited. Okay, you don't have to look at that stuff or get excited 'cause it's nothing in comparison to what he's accomplished thus far:

- Married a wonderful woman
- Brain in the Oval Office
- Convincing the public that someone from Arkansas can do anything
- Being really good at the saxophone
- Building the first ever library in Arkansas

Escobar: He gone.

Frank Wren and Company weren't screwing around. The Braves have always brushed there issues with Yunel Escobar under the mat, but today they'd had enough. Yunel has been sent to Canada along with JoJo Reyes. The Braves get longtime solid SS in Alex Gonzalez and 2 minor league players.

I, like most Braves fans, have always been amazed by Escobar's talent. We've all been waiting for that "ah hah" moment. The time where everything kinda clicks, and he becomes a complete player. That moment will have to take place while wearing a Blue Jays uni. I'm not sure how I feel about this trade, except the happiness felt knowing JoJo Reyes won't pitch in a Braves uni anymore. It's obvious that YE has issues way beyond just hitting and fielding, and I certainly don't blame Atl for wanting to rid themselves of any headaches, but man, what if? But I guess that's all we were ever waiting though, the what ifs for Escobar.


First Half thoughts:

- Every time I hear Chip Caray speak I think, boy I miss Pete and Skip.
- Some guys just know how to hit the ball, and Matt Diaz and Prado are 2 of them.
- Is it me or does it seem like every time Derek Lowe take the mound, he seems like he's trying to fish around for something that's not there? I know he's not giving up a ton of runs, but he's getting a ton of run supprt in his wins.
- Talk of a new bat in LF and Gary Sheffield in the same sentence makes me cringe.


Second Half hopes:

- Hang in there, Chipper and Troy.
- Change your mind Billy Wagner.
- No more sliding from Jason Heyward.
- 4 man rotation: Hudson, Jurrjens, Hanson, Medlen.
- Nate McLouth will be just fine in the second half. If guys like him and Melky do ANYTHING, the Braves will in pretty good shape.
- More bobble head nights

The Freakin' Weekend

It's 1pm on Friday. I've got a full belly (thanks to Barberito's), 3 patients to go, and nothing but the weekend on my mind. We listen to a really awful radio station at work from time to time, and Friday afternoon happened to be my lucky day. Here are the songs that really stuck out during each hour of treatment:

Patient #1 is an enormous lady, and her "rotary cup is dang near torn to all get out." Sounds pretty bad lady. Not as bad as this jam:



Shut up, Travie. Right now, I just want you to stop it "soo fucking baaadddd."

Here comes patient #2, and she is turrible. Everything hurts. Everything will continue to hurt as long as Workers Comp is flippin the bill that is. Hey ohhh. Can the afternoon get any worse? Yes it can and did...



It's that damn radio again. Enter in complete misery. I hear some girl in the background say, "She performed this on The Today Show, and I thought it would be much better than it was." It had me fooled too. Somehow I fight through the pain and the desire to mash the radio in.

By 3 o'clock, I'm certain that I've blacked out to make it thus far. I have a chicken burrito sitting in my stomach that wants out, and someone asking me to take a look at a blister that's been bothering them on their foot. But wait, there's hope! Thanks, Miley!



She told me come off that ledge and put my hands up. It's gonna be a great weekend.

Nice Tribute

You may not know this now, but you all know this guy...



He's single and ready to mingle.

Top Weekend + a Monday!?

Boy, this blogging shit sure is tough when your parents are stuck in the Dark Ages. Apparently, there's no need for the Internet when your parents don't even know how to operate a computer. Enough of this bull! It was the freakin weekend, and we done had us some fun.

Friday - Rest up; I had a Manhattan in honor of Bunger, and I watched True Blood. Watching True Blood can be in honor of him too, I guess.

Saturday - There's a sand storm on Tybee. It was not pleasant, and neither were the prices at Marlin Monroe's. A case of beer later, and I somehow forget about that stuff. Some place called "Social" is now going to try to compete with Blimpie and Sting Ray's. Come on. "Social" has tacos... just tacos. But, they are pretty good. Best part -- giant Red Stripe beers for $2.

So, the new thing to do on Tybee is yell "don't tase me" to the cops. While strolling around, I heard that a handful of times. It sure beats Rincon and Richmond Hill people doing whatever you call it...being themselves. I guess the TPD taser thing is big news, but it was probably some kid just being a retard. Wait, he is legit? Lighten up everybody...just having some fun.

The fireworks were meh. Benny's was awesome. Dolphin Reef was literally a breath of fresh air. And I’m left thinking ‘what could have been’ if I would’ve made it in to Tybee Time. All I wanted was some booty sweat, a Hurricane, and a fist pound from that DJ everybody's talking about. TT wasn’t in the cards thanks to slurred speech and refusing a stamp on my hand. That’s about all I remembered when I woke up in the front seat of my car in Andrew’s drive way.

Sunday - Starts with a 6:30 am departure from Tybee. Half of a McDonald’s biscuit got in my mouth, and the other half was scattered around the front of my car. I think I may have fallen asleep at the wheel at least once, but my sunglasses were on, so don’t worry no one could tell my eyes were closed. I slept some more, and then I woke up for round 2 on Wilmington. Lots of beer and low country boil all day. Kayaking drunk isn’t the best idea, but then again that’s what they say about not wearing sunscreen too. The Rockwell fireworks display was similar to Tybee’s, and we still managed to spend less money. Night swimming is awesome, but don’t forget your life preserver. They're not just seat cushions after all!

Sunday - Absolutely nothing.

Not only was this weekend great, it was also pretty damn funny…

- Joey Chestnut ate real good on Sunday, and then talked some noise about that Chinese eater-son (who didn’t compete). Kobeyashi (the Chinese eater-son) then runs on stage and starts acting like a fool-son. He gets arrested.

- Damon Evans resigns. I find this humorous for a couple of reason: 1) Black men will give up everything for a white woman. 2) You can put now Evans in the same category as BG.

- It’s nice to see that Jamarcus Russell isn’t sweating the small stuff. Yeah, he was cut by the Raiders, but he’s rich bitch and still sippin’ on dat sizzurp.

Believe It or Not...

... this is all true.

- My friend is painting a portrait of me and it is looking incredible. You won't believe this thing when you see it.

- I went to a Phish show last Friday, and it was a whole lot of fun. I would recommend anyone (who appreciates good music and good musicians) to check out one of their concerts anytime you get a chance.

- I have picked up some new lingo, but I have been dropping some "activity" around the place. (Side note: no real activity as of yet.)

- There are video casinos and soon to be table-game casinos at just about an hour and a half intervals throughout the state. On my first-and-probably-not-last trip to The Hollywood Casino, I went up $220 in 25 minutes at the $15 dollar black jack machine, and said good night. The machines are kinda cool they have a video dealer and a booth around it like a real casino and she is hot and she deals em out.

-I played my annual game of golf while here and got two legitimate pars. I was very happy.

-I was going to say something about music, but I think I will save that for another post.

- The Bunger-que tradition lives on. My friend threw a party and named it Bunger-que...looking forward to the tail end party in the 912.

-I am running out of things to think of, and I am about to go watch the season premier of Rescue Me. A good day to you all.

Greetings

One week after leaving Savannah, I have found myself somewhat acclimated to this northern land. My arrangements are quite comfortable. The natives' dialect is different, yet discernible. The cuisine is phenomenal. So far, I have eaten two subs, one cheesesteak, four slices of cheese pizza, one slice of cheesesteak pizza and a slice of spaghetti pizza. I tried to add a picture of the spaghetti pizza but I don't really know how to work my buddy's Mac. The wedding I came up for was awesome. Tonight, my buddy I mentioned before on the blogosphere is having a concert. He usually plays acoustic, folky music, but for tonight's show, he has a full band of accomplished musicians behind him...so I am really excited for that. Tomorrow, I am heading to Camden, NJ by way of Philadelphia to go see Phish in concert. That will be interesting. When I was 14, I had tickets to go see them, but I couldn't go because I didn't have a ride. They ended up breaking up as a band soon there after. My little neo-hippie heart was broken; I thought I would never see them again and I had missed my only chance. Turns out 10 years later I have gotten the chance. I am not super excited for it, but it will be cool...at least, there will be a lot of funny people to look at. That is all for now.

Rotation Rotation Rotation

The Braves may get washed out tonight, but that is one of the few things that isn't going right for them. Up and down, the lineup has had timely hitting and everyone seems to take turns contributing. Heyward has proved he is legit, but he's still a rookie. He'll continue to have his fair share of ups and downs. Prado and Glaus carried the team for over month, and both deserve serious Allstar votes. Hinske won't get any credit, but he's had a lot of say in how the team has been mowing everybody else down.

Having too much pitching can never be a bad thing, right? Well, too much good pitching can't hurt, and the Braves have just that. Jair Jurrjens was never right at the beginning of the season (0-3, over 6 ERA). He's healthy now and plans to start next Tuesday. Kris Medlen has been great for the Braves in Jurrjens' absence, and I don't see him giving up his starting spot. Your first reaction will be to yank Kawakami out as quick as possible, and then hand that spot to Jurrjens. Certainly, Jurrjens is a better option. But if you can somehow look past the 0-9 record and his last start going only 2 inn. and serving up slow pitch softballs, Kawakami's starts have been pretty good. There is something to be said for fielding your position. The guy is terrible. Someone forgot to tell Kenshin to glove and throw the ball for the force out, not karate chop at it.

I know there's absolutely no room for him, but it sure would be nice to see LH Johnny Venters get a start or two. He was a starter all throughout the minors, but he's been unbelievable out of the pen. When Saito returns, a great thing will somehow get a bit better. Oh and Chris Resop -- you are who we thought you were. See ya!


Top 5 sports right now:

5. Lacrosse
4. Wakeboarding
3. Baseball
2. Tennis
1. USA soccer (The only kind of soccer there is.)

Week 1

Bon voyage, Bunger!

Waking up at 4:30 in the morning is for the birds. I only had to do it a couple of times this week, but it was a couple too many. Work is awesome. It beats sitting in a classroom for 8 hours, that's for sure. My first official patient is 78, and she has called me everything but Joey in 3 visits -- Jody, Jonah, Josh, and jerk. She's sweet. My instructor still hasn't shown up for work. The other employees assure me that she does exist, and that I will be receiving credit for the rotation. We'll see. As for driving, Lex and Terry in the morning and driving the explorer like it's a Ferrari all day get me from point A to B. Right now, I'm OK with the drive. I'm not sure how long I'm gonna make it, so SSI isn't out of the question. How's the Junior Staff, Shiv?

Hey Bunger and Shane, good call. The Avett Brothers were great. I have listened to them and never was sold. Well, as of a week ago, I'm sold. It's hard to believe that those 3 + Joe Kwon could ever put on a show like that. I'm not sure what category you can place the Avett Brothers in to. If it's bluegrass, fine. If it's "alternative folk" (Amazon.com's take), that sounds kinda weird, but OK. They aren't like many other bands, and I like that. Who knew they could make Springsteen tolerable for me...



Moving on...



Lakers win! Lakers win! Love that picture by the way. Queensbridge was definitely in the building on Thursday night. Not sure if I'm a Laker fan, but I'm a Kobe Bryant. He proved 2 things in the past 2 months worth of playoffs: 1. Shooting more than everyone else gives you the best chance at scoring; 2. He's the best basketball player in the world. As for Bostonians, suck it. Ok I'll be honest, it would not have matter who played the Celtics; I would have rooted for the West no matter what... well except Dirk and zee Mavs.

Jack - "Paul Pierce is "the Truth"?! Ron Artest handled the truth!!"

The US Open wraps up today on NBC. That means: Phil has checked out, Tiger took the night off last night to focus on golf, and Johnny Miller is an idiot. I'm pulling for Dustin Johnson.

On a personal note... this weekend I swung/swang/swinged(?) and missed. I was talking the big talk all this week. But after one beer Friday and Saturday nights, I was down for the count. I guess I need to start drinking at work to tune the body up for the weekend. It's settled -- Martini Mondays and Tequila Sunrise Tuesdays. I'm going to do better.

Hey, Koman Coulibaly - you're fucking out! Don't screw with America's sport.

Happy Father's Day!

HUGE Sports Day!!!

I'm so happy...I could take my pants off! Days like these don't come around often, and I think we need to stop hating and start embracing. It's been a few year since the last time this sporting event this has taken place, but once the squads take the field that same ol' familiar feeling returns. Yep, the Braves and Twins renew their rivalry tonight! They have met twice ('02 & '07) since that 1991 World Series.


Kirby Puckett must have grown a foot or so the week leading up to the series. For me, there were many reasons to dislike those Twins: guy named Kirby who was good a baseball, Minnesota and its proximity to Canada, and Kent Hrbek's bush league play in picking off Ron Gant. What do I remember most from that World Series? That was the first time I heard someone say "fuck". It was my father, and it was directed at Hrbek...many, many times.

The times they are a changing, well kinda. The Braves and Twins are back on top of their respective divisions, but the Twins don't come across as sleazy this go round. But thanks to Kirby, Jack Morris, and Hrbek, I still hate you Minnesota. Go fuck yourselves.

Other notable happenings on the BIG Friday:

WNBA Hoops - 1st place Atlanta Dream (7-2) v New York Liberty (3-4)

Bassmaster Elite Series - Day 3 of the Tennessee Triumph BASS Tourney BASScast Live!

NBA Agency - 19 Days and counting...

Inter-office memo

Greetings co-workers. I just wanted to bring your attention to the fact that I have added a new website to our (the original) bare necessities. It is an internet magazine, whatever that is, called Slate. I believe David Hale linked it a while back. I don't know how else I would have come across it. Actually, there is no telling how I came across it. When I get on the internet things are very much like a dream sequence. My sense of time is greatly skewed. There are funny things, scary things, pretty things, ugly things. I never know how I got to any of them, and the only way I can get out of it is to wake up/ "x" out. Anyway, I digress. Slate is a good website to check out because they have a broad area of interest. You can check out synopses of Friday Night Lights episodes, see what is new and interesting in the world of science, read book reviews, and check out some (left-wing) political commentary. So what do you say? Today, do something to make yourself a more rounded human being, besides for the Double Decker Double Down you had for lunch. Just ask this guy.

Summa Summa Summa Time

I just dealt with my first block class for the second to last time ever. Three of my kids aren't allowed in school tomorrow. Christmas came early. It is a good feeling. It is going to feel even better tomorrow. I am not sure how the last day of school, The Avett Brothers, The Rail happy hour and a Friday are all going to mesh together. Any one of those four would call for some serious celebrations. I've been drunk before. I am going to give being good a try. Not too good though...as my mother constantly reminds me, I am going to pace myself. We will see how that works out.

I am the type of guy that looks forward to things a lot. I like to go with the flow, but I really like having something to look forward to. Friday at 3:15 a bell is going to ring, a bell that I have heard many times before, but this time with new meaning. This bell will ring in freedom. It will ring in merriment. It will ring in adventure. It will ring in celebration of the fact that I have survived my first year as a teacher, something many people don't do...at a school many people don't want to do it at. It will ring in the Weazle I’ve always wanted to be: a Weazle who can take a bad situation and make it better. It will also ring in a Weazle with plenty of free time and disposable income. Dreams do come true…God Bless America.

Good Effort

After today, I will never eat an original Chick-fil-A sandwich again. I have never been a huge fan of anything on that menu, besides the milkshakes. The food isn't cheap, and it's kinda blah. However, their new spicy chicken sandwich has given me a reason to go to Chick-fil-A on a regular basis. Research has begun on opening a new Chick-fil-A. Prospective location: the corner of Victory and Skidaway -- we're gonna shut the city downnnnn!

Possible SNAFU: "I'm pretty sure you have to be Mormon or something to do that." - Chick-fil-A Insider, Matt O'Rand. Hopefully, he was just talking about opening up the restaurant.

Cheer up, Murray!

I've Been Duped

While checking out Only In The Bear Necessities, I saw a blog post title on the side and I thought it was from one of our brother blogs. I thought it was going to be really funny. It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.

Get it Gurls

For all the women who be gotten they own cars and paid they own billz -- much love.

Trivia question:

On this day in 1990, Partners in Kryme released their smash hit "Turtle Power". The question is, who was the best Ninja Turtle?

Seven To Go

I would like to start by saying, "How bout them Braves?" To some extent I am a fair-weather fan. Baseball is just too darn boring. Even if I don't watch most of the game, I usually check the score every so often and tune in when it gets interesting. Recenty it has been interesting. It helps that every other show I watch on television has begun their summer vacation. It also helps that they haven't been losing much. It really helps that they have beaten the Phillies in their last two games. Being first place in the division, well, it just seems like the right place for the Braves to be. I am sure that comes from years of them residing there.

Things have been a little wild at work. I had a fight in my classroom yesterday. That was my first, and probably not my last, depending on how long I stick with this profession.

The good news is they have been wild because we only have 7 days left. Yip-e-khai-yay, melon farmer.

Two Fridays from now will be the students' last day of school, as well as, the Avett Brothers concert. That will be fun. As losers say, "This ain't my first rodeo." I have seen The Avett Brothers three times. The first was at The Freebird Live Cafe at Jacksonville Beach. That was awesome because there were like maybe two hundred people there and I was like six feet from the band and I could have been closer if I felt like it. This is one of the biggest payoffs for keeping your ear to the ground for emerging bands. You get to go see them before they get real big, and it is just an amazing feeling to be in a room with such an awesome band and so few other people, and everyone realizes how special the show is because this band is about to blow up. The next show I saw them at was a homecoming/album release in Cary, NC. That was probably cooler than Jacksonville Beach. It was a lot of their local fans and it was one of the biggest shows that they have played to date. I got their early and hung out at the gate with my buddy Mike from Lancaster and meet some cool dudes that just graduated high school and were going to NCSU and UNCW and some other NC schools. When the gates opened we rushed to the stage...strike that... they rushed to the stage. I walked and then wedged my way through the crowd to get a spot in the very front. That show was incredible. I had to pee the entire time. At the end of the show, they threw a bunch of plastic flowers off the stage and into the crowd and I picked up a few (no homo). I saw them in Atlanta on New Years Day. That was ok, but an ok Avett Brothers show is still better than probably whatever you were doing that night. I am excited about this concert because there will be a lot of people to hang out with before the show. I'll be getting to the parking lot around 3:45. Murray is getting his mouth numbed at the dentist earlier that day. It should be entertaining, watching him try to drink without sensation in his mouth. I have an extra ticket to the show. I am not really sure what I plan to do with it. If one of yall want to go, you will need to make a compelling case, in order to beat out a lucky lady (tbd).

Exactly two weeks from today, I will begin my yankee exploration. There is no telling what I will find up there. Hopefully, they have internet up there, so I will be able to keep yall posted. If not, I may have to go all they way out to Californi. The Tuesday before I leave, I wanted to get a little dinner together. Details will follow, but clear your calendar.

Thursday marks Game One of the NBA Finals. Shane and I already did a seven game series on NBA Live 10 to see how it would work out. Shane was the Lakers and I was the Celtics (someone had the upper-hand, and his name ain't Weazle). Shane won game one, then I went on to win three straight. With the series at 3-1, all I had to do was win one of the next two to not push it to a game seven. I was unable to do so. We decided that if the series went to seven games, the seventh game would be played with 12 (real life) minute quarters. Kobe er ugh Shane won. I still wonder what would have happened if we would have stuck with three minute quarters. Anyway, my prediciton for the Finals is the Lake-show in six.

I feel like I have said enough. Who are you to judge me anyway?