Streaking

This morning, the No-Cavity Streak was in jeopardy as I sat in the dentist's chair. I thought, 'how could it end this way?' And then I remembered that it was a streak of no cavities, so having one would mean the end. Entering the day, the streak stood tall at 9,114 days.

I explained to my dentist that my diet changes starting with the last weekend in October. That's right it's nothing but candy corn until late November...then pecan pie and that jello mold with the fruit suspended in it when late November comes around...and in December, well nothing but candy canes and maple syrup and leftover candy corn. I tried to make my dentist understand the importance of the streak, and how I needed to make it to Easter for those giant Reese's eggs with all that "peanut butter" inside.

Since Cal Ripken Jr.'s consecutive game streak stopped years back and UCLA's was halted many moons ago and Favre's streak started/ended (1) this past Monday, I'm the only one left. I know everyone is on the end of their seats, thinking stuff like: "Oh my, what happens?!", "Gee, I hope he's OK!" "Don't let that girl from Indiana beat you, pussy!", but exhale and know that the streak continues. No cavity. 9,115.

Time to celebrate with Mountain Dew and Krispy Kreme.

Goodbye 2010

We've had our ups; we've had our downs. Some of us aren't friends anymore, and it is what it is. I feel like I know where I stand with all of ya, and if you ever need to find me, you know where to find me. If you don't know where it is, hit me up on the phone. I'll be around. Bout to do 2011 dirty. Rumor on the street is BC needs a football coach....

You forgot...

Don't worry; it is appropriate for kids from 8 to 80.

Playlist and Fashion Show!

Just a little update on how the Christmas Party playlist is coming along...it's good, really good.

Have you ever wonder how Kurtis Blow, Busta Rhymes, Burl Ives, and Juicy J could work? Well, don't worry about that because you may ruin it for everyone else.



What is everyone wearing?!? Should I go "wacky Christmas", "grown and sexy", or "I'm here to party"? Over the years, there's been much controversy over those dreadful sweaters that some chose to wear. I know this party has been label a "Tacky Christmas", and I feared that I may be the odd man out when I show up...until I drink liquor and become that guy that can't dance but he tries hard.

1.

A Parisian Christmas

2.

Pockets stay fat Christmas

3.

Dick Towel Christmas

You be the judge...

Tosh.0	Tosh Tuesdays 9pm / 8c
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First off, welcome to the all new "It's Always Sunny in the Office". The name change certainly came as a surprise to some, OK all the contributors, but it's a welcomed changed none the less. Don't worry, I talked to Andrew, and he is totally cool with everything. "But does the name change mean you guys jumped the shark?" Well loser, that's a stupid cliche, and it doesn't mean anything, so shut up. We all know that the Office spiraling towards a series finale -- hopefully NBC is thinking twice about subjecting us to a spin-off show in which Jim makes "that face" in to the camera and Pam tries to find a personality. OITO has seen an opportunity to "still murk the competition", and we're going to run with it. You guys are reading tomfoolery at its best.

As for the page layout, we'll just say it's a work in progress...



Let's make fun of stuff...

Hey, there's big things going on from our friends from the Midwest! Of course I'm talking about college athletics because let's be honest, not much else going on. The Big Ten is gearing up for some fierce competition in 2011-12. With the likes of Nebraska joining, who wouldn't get excited? Well, Big Ten officials couldn't hide their boners any longer and on Monday, they announced the new Divisions and their respective schools. The Legends Division will house Iowa, Michigan, Michigan St., Minnesota, Nebraska, and Northwestern. The Leaders Division is loaded with Illinois, Ohio St., Indiana, Penn State, Purdue, and Wisconsin. These name are super fitting because hell, every time I think of the word legend, I think of guys like Ricky Stanzi (Iowa QB), Denard Robinson (Mich QB) and Bo Pelini. As for the word leader, well there's never been a better on/off the field leader than Minnesota RB DeLeon Eskridge. Should be a fun season.

Last night, Cliff Lee dooped the Yankees ala Greg Maddux styley. He turned down 6/7 years and 150+ mill with New York for Philly and 5 year/120 mill (w/ an incentive based option for a 6th year). Basically the money would be about the same, so he's not really taking a pay cut. Now the Phillies have a pitching rotation that looks like an All Star ballot, but take heart babies! Let's be honest, there's one great pitcher on that Phillies staff -- Roy Halladay and he's 33. Cliff Lee is very good with a lead, but throws 90 at best and cannot make good pitches in a hitter's count (See World Series v the Giants). Plus, he's getting his first big contract at age 32. Our Braves may not be in as bad a shape as it seems. They're continuing the trend of getting younger in key positions, and they are completely stock piled with good pitching. The Phillies continue to get older. Cowherd and his wacky logic proposed a different take on why Lee chose the Phillies over the Yankees: You can get the "New York experience" while living somewhere else...someone in Boise Idaho can receive the New York Times at their door step! Not to mention, you can get a pretty solid bagel anywhere. Cowherd, you're officially an idiot.

They say that nobody remembers who finished 2nd place, but I do. Thanks SCPS for making my mid-day, Saturday!


I think Muschamp to UF hire sets them back 2-3 years. Coming off of a year where Georgia actually had a shot at beating the Gators, I expect Georgia to be favored next year. Shane's right when he said "Leach not going to UF makes this an OK hire." It may or may not turn out to be the right hire, who cares? Florida will still lose 4 games next year -- one being to UGA. Georgia's physicality > UF's.

What's for breakfast?

100% pure orange-pineapple juice, skim milk, peaches, grilled cheese and strawberries freeze dried in Wheaties. Time to dominate.

JJBA= LIAM?

The Spaniards say, "posible"

As Promised

Best Song About Going To San Francisco And Putting Flowers In Your Hair...

...will be posted at a future date. Hint: It is also the worst song about going to San Francisco and putting flowers in your hair.

Tyson v Stallone

It was recently announced that these two, among others, will be inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame in June of 2011. I don't really have anything thoughtful to say about either one, but I can't stop cracking up at the thought of one thing: How bad these two speeches will be come ceremony time...

Starting at 1:05, a truly classic moment making fathers everywhere proud.


The over/under on the amount of "Huh?" or "What'd he say?" during Stallone's speech will be set at 5 1/2.

Survive and Advance

Only 1 more "in the classroom" semester left. With that said, the champagne is on ice... no popping bottles just yet.


Christmas Break starts now.

Milestone!!!

Forget that SEC Championship; OITO has much bigger fish to fry. This is post number #700, babies! Since 2007, we've held true to our motto "Straight murkin' the competition", all the while not forgetting our roots, and the fact that no one reads this stuff. Personally, I couldn't care less and I think this notion just allows me to be as ridiculous as I possibly can. So in conclusion, thanks for not reading.

With the 700th post, we find ourselves surrounded by some pretty big time company. Some notables in 700 Club include:

"Hammerin" Hank Aaron

the Boeing 747

And the OG of the 700 Club...

Pat Robertson

Here's to 700 more...

Never thought I'd say this...

I'm rooting for the upset this weekend, and it's not just because I want my old landlord to be happy. Nope, I have boundless reasons why I'm hoping for a USC win -- Cam Newton's crybaby attitude we all saw in the first half of the Iron Bowl returns; Nick Fairly and the possibility of injury?; Isiah Crowell narrows it down to GA and Bama...

Of course, I'm sure a few of you will be pulling for Auburn because you want to see them in the National Championship. It remain strange to me that people have this weak sense of "the SEC is the best and we should pull for them no matter what." Well, fuck that. I was pulling for a Boise State/ Oregon final all season. I think it would be the most entertaining game, and that's all I ever want in sports. But since Boise State practically fell out of the top 25, that ain't happening.

I'm making my case for a USC victory in the form of a Top 5...

5. Auburn's defense is terrible, and they weren't very good in the first meeting between SC/AU. Stephen Garcia fumbled twice in the 4th Q, so I'm sure Chizik sent him and his large Mexican family a Thanksgiving day ham. The scary thing for Auburn, Marcus Lattimore had arguably his worst game of the season. That won't happen tomorrow.

4. Tomorrow will mark only the second time ever that the Gamecocks will play indoors. Obviously, any kinks were worked out the first time.

3. Such a big win couldn't happen to a better guy...


This marks the first December (non-bowl game) weekend in about 10 years that a football game gets in the way of a tee time. Spurrier's going to make the most it.

2. I'm going with Lou Holtz. He's been right on a lot of stuff.

1. Uncle Rico has been laughable during his quarterbacking career at SC. Step up, but not too much! Hand the ball off to the 2nd best freshman in the country. Get the ball in the hands of Alshon Jeffrey. Don't turn it over. And stay away from the Cheetah and Pink Pony...atleast go to the Clermont where the drinks are cheaper.


30-27

The Best Dead Rapper You've Never Heard Of

Stuffing

There's some stuff happening.

- Apparently, doing the dirty is cool, as long as your kids don't find out. The very Reverend Cecil Newton and some shady characters did discuss dollar bills at some point before Cam Newton signed with Auburn. The money, though, has yet to be found, and Cam Newton's "do what happened?" response was good enough for the SEC and NCAA. I gotta say, this was the fastest ruling I have ever seen made by the NCAA. Good work, boys. Justice prevails on Saturday, however, because the Cocks take down Auburn and Ric's house.

- The US Office of Homeland Security has raised the Terror Threat level to Red (severe risk of terrorist attacks) after an unidentified source told officials that Kim Jong-il, Bin Laden, and Lebron James are conducting secret meetings in Cleveland, Ohio this evening. Those goddamn terrorists!!!

- Mark Fox and the Georgia men are lucky to be 4-2. Their perimeter defense is sorry. Rebounding a basketball is "overrated, I'd rather be dunkin", according to Barnes. That's a fake quote. Since Thompkins' return, there has been no such thing as Jeremy Price on the offensive end, and I think that may need to change. I'm not taking anything away from Trey Thompkins, but Price was really good in the first 3-4 games of the year. Gerald Robinson/Travis Leslie will be a fun back court to watch all season. Outside of Temple, UAB is the best team that Georgia has faced and will face until Kentucky on January 8th. Go, fight, win.

So what if he missed it?

Top 5 songs that can't stop, won't stop...for now.
1. Town Mountain - "I'm on Fire" (Bruce Springsteen cover)
2. Monsters of Folk - "Map of the World"
3. Kanye "Imadouchebutthissongiscool" West - "Monster"
4. Langhorne Slim - "In the Midnight"
5. Bobby Helms - "Jingle Bell Rock"

***
- I almost forgot! The US got beat out for the 2022 World Cup by some country named after an alien -- Qatar. Dang, we were so close to hosting football.

Can you say, boom-fucked?

Get some, you douchebag.

A/S/L?

Happy Cyber Monday! But wait, not that kind of cybering. It's supposed to be exactly like Black Friday, only on the internet. If that doesn't make sense, then you're probably the type that thinks "doing it" over the internet is gross. Weirdo.

Bungsgiving: A Spike Lee Joint

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE:

Bungsgiving is cancelled due to me being an idiot and forgetting that I have other obligations. Interestingly enough, my internet went out last night, so I can't get on FB to cancel the event. I should have never listened to Jack.


Facebook is hard to opperate these days (That's what she said.) I created an event page, due to JJBA's appeal for facebook officiality (new word, look it up), but I didn't take the time to invite everyone I wanted to. So, here is your official invitation.

Anyway, I'm having a pre-gameing party at the Bungerdome this upcoming Wednesday (Thanksgiving Eve). I just realized we probably have a game that day/night for the Joe Greene Invitational. I'll let yall know, if it is cancelled. It will be tough to get them to cancel the tournament, so I may have to postpone the party. This invitation is extended to all of our brother bloggers: OITO, BMBS, D&BS, OIA (in that order).

I will buy you a Bear Fight, if you bring over a turducken.

Countdown

Just 2 more days stand between me and a much needed break. On the agenda: Eating, sleeping, drinking the drink of choice -- White Russian, Oyster Roast, going ham on downtown, and the Christmas list.

PS, thanks for ruining Harry Potter for me, Weazle! He dies? Gee thanks.

PPS, Have fun on your cruise, Shane. You'll have a blast with those guys.

Wait 'til next year brah!

Just announced: Boise State v. Georgia, Sept. 3, 2011 in the GA Dome

I was talking about this earlier with some former athletic trainers from UGA. And since being an athletic trainer naturally translates to knowing everything about football, according to the experts, Georgia will win in a rout, if "Murray can learn how to put some touch on his throws." I know what you're thinking -- what the fuck is that kid talking about? And yes, that's exactly what I responded with.

I can't wait for the game. I'll be there and so will you.

See what you could miss? Come onnnn!

The Wren/Gonzalez Show

Ask me how I feel about the Infante/Dunn for Uggla deal, and I'll probably respond with a, "uhhh...well, umm get me again a year from now" type answer. I don't really know what to say other than...Infante is a really solid player and Dunn is going to be a solid LH reliever for a long time. As far as Uggla goes, he's a good 2B and can hit the damn ball.

I just hope the in-division trade doesn't come back to haunt the Braves. Uggla is a free-agent after 2011, so this may be one of those trades the Braves make -- "let's put it all on the line for this season". It may or may not pay off this time. Maybe Wren & Co. saw something in Infante that screamed, he's not a long-term guy, but I just think the 2010 season was his first chance to play a near full season. Man, it was good. Nothing but the best, Infante. I hope he plays well for a long time, just not when playing the Braves. As for Dunn, well let's just say, it could have been worse (Venters/Kimbrel/Delgado/O'Flaherty/Hyde/Teheran/Beachy/on and on...). Dan Uggla hit 33 HRs and drove in 100+ RBIs this past season. I can't remember the last time a Braves player did either of those.

Ummm, after typing up that last paragraph, I think I may have just convinced myself that this move is a pretty good one for the Braves. Let's see how everything pans out before locking him in to a 5 year deal, please. Maybe the Braves sold "high" on Infante. That's difficult for me to believe, but whatever. Looking ahead, the Braves are loaded with pitching. Prado will be back and healthy. He's always played LF in winter ball, so that's a convenient option. Chipper will be back. Healthy? Well, maybe Prado to 3B. With all that pitching, maybe there's a LF'er out there to be had -- Rasmus, Willingham, Kemp. Can we stop with the Brett Gardner talk? It's not going to happen. The Steinbrenner's are irrational, not completely retarded.

It's going to be an interesting off-season. Get back to work Frank.

Fight Night

There's no such thing as Heavyweight Boxing anymore. It's been over 10 years since guys like Lenox Lewis and Holyfield fought, and no that person posing as Evander Holyfield in the mid to late 2000's doesn't count. In my eyes, those were the last of real Heavyweights. Well, thank God for some really good Welterweight fighters.

Manny Pacquiao debuted way back in '95. He's 51-3-2, with his most recent wins over Oscar de la Hoya, Miguel Cotto, Ricky Hatten, and Joshua Clottey. All good fighters, but Margarito is much taller and just as powerful, if not more. That power may be a bit deceptive, you know with those metal inserts he got caught with a while back. Anyways, tonight they'll match up for the vacant Welterweight title. Pacquiao has put on wieght to move up in class, but I'm sure he's still drinking his on urine. Regardless of drinking pee, he's really good, and it should be fun to watch. Of course, this isn't the match up I've been waiting to see -- that one is still years and years away, or maybe never.

I think it will go 12 rounds, or maybe I should say -- I really hope it goes 12 rounds. Shit talking always happens in the days before these kind of fights. You'll always see those guys, the random ones in the "entourage", that end up slap fighting during the weigh-in. Margarito's camp took a little different approach. They decided they would make a video making fun of Pacquiao's trainer, Freddie Roach, who has Parkinson's. Real classy. And for that, I hope Pacquiao takes every round to absolutely pummel Margarito.

Untitled

Hey. You thought I was pulling a "dead beat dad" again didn't you? Fooled ya 'cause I'm not going anywhere. Bunger did have me a bit worried when he told me that he and Shane were the only readers left. I figured Shane took off a while ago, so I stopped worrying about the whole thing pretty quick...

Ever wonder what happens to coaches when they get canned? Like, where does Dan Hawkins go from here? He had a losing record in all of his 5 seasons at Colorado. I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm even typing this is because of this. Too good. And what about poor Wade Phillips? If you've seen the Cowboys play, I think you'd agree that they may not improve with his firing. They aren't very good, but at least Roy Williams still remembers where he came from.

On a scale of 0-10, how much effort would you say you put forth?

I went to a wedding this past weekend. The last time I was supposed to go to one of those, Georgia put up 56 on Central Michigan, and I was puking in a sink at 3. It doesn't matter if it was am or pm, okay? My suit pants barely fit, but I still remember how to dance. No band, rather a DJ who was no Marty, but he would certainly do. He played Single Ladies, yeah you know the tune, and I did my best Beyonce' impression. I was told to keep my day job to which I responded, "Opahhhhhhhh!!!" Not sure if that was appropriate use, but the woman smiled and shook her head. Gotta love those crazy Greeks. Good people, great food.

MCG's new presidente is certainly wasting no time. Dr. Ricardo Azziz, if that's your real name, has decided he's going to change our school's name. Yep, if you thought the Medical College of Georgia rolls of the tongue nicely, then you love Georgia's Health Sciences University. Wow, that's nice! He held a "forum" so students, faculty, and staff could voice opinions/concerns, but really what faculty and staff would in their right mind question him? I took the opportunity to ask him his reasoning behind the name change. I also asked if he considered that many students, presently enrolled, may feel a sense of pride or accomplishment graduating from the Medical College of Georgia. His response: "No, thanks." I wasn't really one of those students, but some fellow classmates do feel this way. His arrogance amazes me.

As of now, not a worry in the world. I just took a test on amputation and oncology today. Not a thing to do until after Thanksgiving. The grill is going. Scotch #1 tastes too good. And lastly, since I'm living hood rich, I can afford the NFL Network.

Falcons (-1.5)...I like it.

Belated Birthday Wishes

Better late than never. Happy Birthday Big Dawg. I don't know if you read this blog anymore, since our brothers at BMBS are the only blog that have kept us on their roll call. We're doin just fine though, thanks for your concern.

Five Things about Donnie
-He is tall.
-He has a girlfriend that lives in Athens. I met her once. She was nice.
-He doesn't live on Tybee anymore.
-He's a teacher now.
-I haven't seen him in two or three months, so I am going to assume that this information is still accurate.

NBA Baby

- That Miami mess looked bad last night. Uh oh, I think they're done, and it's only a matter of time until Pat Riley takes the reigns.

- Yao Ming is back mutherfuckers

- Gilbert Arenas has taken his Agent 0 status to new levels after disguising himself as an injured player during the preseason. What will he do next?

- The Nets can sell tickets, even when they're less than a dollar.

- Did Greg Oden die?

- Hawks tonight. No joke, I wasn't sure that Memphis still had a team, but the turns out the Grizzlies are still hoopin it there. Mike Woodson is gone, so that'll put a couple more in the win column. Joe Johnson was a bad resign, but what do I know? Well, I know that 6 years and 119 million is a lot to spend on a guy that will completely hand cuff an offense and quit on his team in the playoffs. Prediction: They still win 50 games, but none when it matters.

- Top 5 players in the NBA:
5. Lebron
4. Dwight Howard
3. Rondo
2. Kevin Durant
1. Kobe

- Here's to another season of Charles Barkley...

Queensbridge is still in the building.

Amen

OITO would consider backing Jimmy McMillan financially, but the damn rent is too damn high.

Quick and Dirty

-Passed on Avett Bros in NashVegas with my bro and sis-in-law this Halloween Weekend for Ga-Fla...hope I don't regret that one. Arch said last Halloween The Avetts dressed up as The Three Amigos.

- Since everyone jumped on my Avett Brothers train, I had to find a less populated one. Felice Brothers in Atlanta in less then a month...see ya there?

-I've been having a delightful morning on Pandora's Felice Brothers Station.

-Basketball Tryouts starts today....Merry Christmas

-Krispy Kreme is too good. The glazed guys are good, but my top two are sour creme kruellers and chocolate iced cream filled.

-Had a blast at "The P.Lowestra" on Saturday...that is a play on the historic basketball arena, The Palestra, in Philly. It is like a cathedral of basketball...a real gem. If I had time to link it, I would...google it yourself though.

- Old Crow Medecine Show just popped up on Pandora...they are amazing...I need to get a Mumford Sons album, but I still think these guys are better than them.

- My plate seems to have too much on it with teaching, coaching, home-making, and ruckus-causing...but I actually am in the process of starting an improv troupe here, for my Smashers. Could be amazingly awesome.

-There's the bell...gotta run.

-Peace and Hairgrease

Good News All Around

Cute!

Congratulations Andrew and Brannnnnddddiiiiiii!!!

Cuter?

In other news, I'll be in Savannah starting Aug. '11 because I muscled all of my pussy classmates out of the Savannah clinical spots. Me and Hinchey's dad are going do lunch often, and I'll share with him my ideas on what my signing bonus should be upon graduation. Self high five!

Two for Tuesday

Two posts!!!

1. It's been a week since the Braves exited the playoffs. Lots of bad defense and good pitching. That's about all I can say about that. Bobby Cox is an all time great. He took a really team/organization and turned it into, with the help of GMJS, a perennial playoff contender. I was at Game 3 of the Divisional Series. It's probably completely unfair to do this, but I think that game can pretty much sum up this season and possibly the past 20 years: great pitching keeps us close, not much offense, a scrappy guy makes a play, heartbreak.

So since there's no Braves baseball to watch, here's what I'm watching:

- Conspiracy Theory with your host: Fmr. Governor Jessie "the Body" Ventura. I knew it all a long man; they're out to get us man. They've got our houses tapped and that old lady next door is always looking at me weird man.

Swamp People - 'Nuff said.

Eastbound & Down - There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.



2. We're learning about traumatic brain injuries right now. It's some pretty interesting stuff until you actually have to work with someone with a traumatic brain injury. They aren't very nice, and probably for good reason. There's all sorts of ways that a person can present, but here's an example of a guy I was evaluating today...



So, this guy in the video was a little bit nicer than the fella I talked with. He has a problem called Wernicke's Aphasia. It's a problem that affects the brains ability to comprehend and produce coherent speech. The guy in the video can still understand what the lady is saying, but when he speaks, nothing concrete comes out. The guy I was working with today told me this after I asked him his name, "I got to rocks and have times for in that it stood in a river." Okay. This went on for some time. He knows what he wants to say, but he can't comprehend what is coming out and therefore doesn't understand why I'm making the bitter beer face. I think I'll stick with broken bones and repaired shoulders/knees for now...

This series was exhausting.

State of The Weazle

I'm great, thanks for asking. I was watching Fried Green Tomatoes this past weekend, while grading papers; and, I heard a line that I thought fit my life right now. "I'm too old to be young, and too young to be old." That is sort of the inspiration behind the song at the top of the post. Also, Sonny and The Sunsets are pretty sweet. Oh, anyone with the music channel Paladiam, I believe on Wednesday, they will be airing the footage from the new Avett Brother's live album. The title of the program, so you can record it, is "The Avett Brothers Live: Volume Three"...I think. Yes Murray, I will save it on the DVR for you.

So, I do believe you all know that I got a new house, and a new school. I took it relatively easy this weekend to square away some work and home things. If any of yall think you are creepy, you ain't creepy like me until you show up at The Dollar Tree too early on a Saturday morning. That's right; I went to The Dollar Tree at 8:45, and they don't open until 9...slackers.

I believe by Friday I may be on top of everything again. It is nice to be getting my legs back underneath me, and I can't wait until the day I don't have anything I have to do for school or to keep my house from falling down or being repo-ed.

I'm going to be head coach of the freshman basketball team, so I've been practicing my "cut speech." How does this sound, "We really don't need you...you should go try out for wrestling though, so people will think twice about telling you how bad you are at basketball."

I joined a writing club with some people I had English courses with at Armstrong. It is really cool. I feel like I am sharpening my ax for the classroom.

I have recently been rejuvinated by my new teaching strategy/philosophy. I will spare you the details for the time being. It seems to be working pretty well in the classroom. I no longer feel like I am herding cats.

I have been broadening my horizons, socially. I don't think it is any suprise or secret to anyone that the "old crew" hasn't really been rocking and rolling, like she used to. I guess it just makes it more special when we do get a group of us together. Unless yall are just having No-Weazle Parties, then screw you.

Since I have moved to West Thunderbolt (my new town), I have come to realize something. Donnie was right. Wilmington Island sucks. Sure it is a nice place to stay, if you want to be 95% sure that you won't get robbed. But, nothing beats the convenience of Midtown. Also, the restaurants of Wilmington get old fast. Plus, have you seen the people that live down there?



They're living in their white-bread world.

About Last Night

This is what we saw:



So, what did Paul Emmel see?


It was Jerrrryyy, mannnn. "If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear a flower in your hair."

!?!?

Infante is on the take.

Goin Out West

That's a song that WSP covers, but that's not what we're talking about here...



Damnit Jim, we're talking about the playoffs! Some teams played yesterday, but for me, the MLB playoff baseball starts tonight at 9:37.



I'm not sure if some things are "just meant to be", but I do know I will enjoy some meaningful Braves baseball for as long as they keep it going. Keep those sinkers down D Lowe and let's get a win.

East Coast > West Coast

Braves Regular Season Grades

The playoffs start today, and that's the only mention they will get in this post. Atlanta had a head scratcher of a year -- they played really well for some significant stretches and really really bad for some stretches. Coming into the season, expectations were high and for pretty good reason. Top to bottom: the starting 5, starting lineup, bullpen, and bench all looked really solid. But based on the past couple of seasons, not being embarrassed was my biggest hope for the team.

Pitching:

Starting with the rotation...The Braves have some impressive arms in their rotation. Who knew Tim Hudson could win 17 games a year removed from elbow surgery? Outside of a horrible month of September (1-4, 5+ ERA, 7 HR against the Nats, Cards, Mets, and Pirates), Hudson was a top 3-5 pitcher in the NL. Derek Lowe upsets me. For the first 3 months of the season, he skated by with lots of run support and racked up 9 wins. In July and August, he gave up a lot of hits and runs to some bad teams (2-6). September rolls around and he's arguably the best pitcher in baseball, so going forward, who are we going to see? Tommy Hanson is young, and with youth comes inconsistency. His record doesn't show how well he pitched during the year. Not a lot of run support and several blow saves hurt him. Medlen was great, and I just hope he can come back at or near the same level of effectiveness. Minor/Beachy were surprisingly good. You can't really ask these guys to do a ton, but they took the ball and notched some good innings. It's not really fair to evaluate Jair Jurrjens because of all the injuries. I think it is fair to say that a healthy Jurrjens wins quite a few more ball games for the Braves this past season. It's funny to think that if anyone other than Kawakami makes his 18 starts (yes 18), the Braves may have won the East...well maybe it isn't that funny. All in all, I think the current rotation gives Atlanta a solid chance to win each night.
Grade: B

Batting:

The bats could do no wrong from May to mid/late August. Zero offense in September made for some tense moments done the stretch. Plain and simple, Prado, McCann, Heyward, and even Infante can hit. They can hit well. All hit for consistent average, well maybe with Heyward being the exception, but I blame that on a thumb that still isn't right. Those four always seemed to come up with the "timely" hit when needed. Troy Glaus was a monster for the month of May. His knees and plate approach have been on extended summer vacation since. Brookes Conrad and Eric Hinske hit and hit well when given the chance. Melky is an idiot (see defense comments below). But give him a 2-0 or 3-1 fastball and he's spinning caps -- no breaking balls por favor. Nate McLouth...not sure what to say here. Maybe he just needed a few more ABs. Chipper was starting to warm up just before the injury, so we'll see how this rehab thing goes. Overall, this was a typical Braves season in the batter's box... not a lot of HRs or big RBI guys, but timely hitting and good pinch hitting. Of course, a team on-base % of .340 helps your cause...
Grade: B+


Defense:

Piss poor all season long. This was supposed to be the one "sure thing". Far from it. McLouth forgot how to make the throw from center to home. All infielders, and I mean all of them, really had trouble with routine plays, and that cost Atlanta quite a few games. For God's sake, can we please position Melky guarding the line or in the gap? I know that's not really possible, but we've all seen what happens when a ball is hit right at him. Alex Gonzalez may have had a rough year defensively, but I think it's safe to say that Escobar would have done no worse. McCann is a great hitter, so that's good because I think he threw out about 2% of all base stealers...the rest of those throws ended up in right-center.
Grade: D-

Bullpen:

The strongest in the league, in my opinion. A bunch of great arms, and they did a great job of eating up innings when needed and closing out games. Venters, Moylan, O'Flaherty, and Kimbrel should be locked down for years. Billy Wagner says he won't be back, and I believe him. It's a shame, but I think Kimbrel can be the guy for a long time. Send Farnsworth packing.
Grade: A


I'm critical because I care.

Individual Awards:

Best Bullpen Pitcher - Venters/Wagner

Best Rookie - Heyward (with Venters a lot closer than you think)

Biggest Surprise - Infante

Biggest Disappointment - 6-9 against the Pirates and Nationals in 2nd half of the season

Best Starting Pitcher - Hudson

MVP - Prado

"They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothing."

Makin it Rain(ey)

So, a few tests and lots of bull shit school work have kept me from making fun of this guy for a couple of weeks. Time's up. As many of you know, Chris Rainey was a super retarded fast WR/RB for the Gators. But his girl was straight buggin, so recently his focus has been off the field. Well, Rainey decided thrextin (threatening texts?...might be a stretch) his girl would be the best way to communicate his displeasure with her. Turns out, you are allowed to text folks messages like, "Time to die". Rainey was arrested and charged with stalking, and needless to say, he's not playing football for the Gators right now.

You're asking, "So what?" Well, I'm going to miss this guy if he doesn't find some way to get back on the field or more importantly, in front of a microphone. Over the past few years this guy has been the Ozzie Guillen of college football. Just a month or so before the season, Rainey felt the Gators were locked in more so than ever, and he told reporters, "I guess we got rid of the prima donnas -- all the selfish cats." Umm, did you forget the most inspired speech ever?!? Yea, so come up with your own 3 minute run-on sentence, and then come talk to us. Anyways, CUM took Chris Rainey's media privileges away.

CUM on Rainey (pre-arrest): "Inappropriate, wrong, non-thought out, which he does quite often," Meyer said in the wake of the "prima donnas" quip. "I love Chris Rainey, but when I ask him a question, I give him a whole day to think about it and write it down 100 times."

You know what I got out of that? CUM is kinda funny. Naturally, this wasn't the first time Rainey said something that left the coaching staff shaking their heads and everyone else laughing (except white girls). Rainey wasted little time after arriving in Gainesville and wanted everyone, especially the sno-bunnies, to know where he stood... "Every time you see a fine girl, you see another fine girl better than her. Some people like different color girls and stuff like that. I'm a white girl man." And a star was born...

Thursday night done right!

My Picks: a week late and a dollar short

*
NFC

East: The Birds
South: NOLA
North: Vikes
West: Cards
Wild Card: G-Men

AFC

East: J-e-t-s Jets Jets Jets
South: Colts
North: Ravens
West: Chargers
Wild Card: New England

Super Bowl: Eagles vs. Jets

Champion: Eagles

They call me "Weazle" but you can call me "Homer"

*This is all stipulated by the fact that Andy Reid is doing what I think he is doing by pretending to be all about Kolb just for next week to see if he is they qb of the future, and if he isn't, Vick is the qb that brings a Super Bowl to the Illadelph.

The NFL Season

NFC:
East - Dallas
South - New Orleans
North - Green Bay
West - San Francisco
Wild Card - Atlanta, Minnesota

AFC:
East - New England
South - Tennessee
North - Baltimore
West - San Diego
Wild Card - Indianapolis, Pittsburgh


Super Bowl Prediction:

Tennessee Titans v Green Bay Packers

Packers win, 35-26

My Thoughts on the A.J. Green Suspension

I find it a rather corrupt and disturbing event when the NCAA officials suspended A.J. for four games for selling his jersey for one thousand dollars. The very NCAA officials that decided to punish Mr. Green make their paycheck based on the talent and work of players such as Mr. Green. What kind of people get fat and rich off of the free labor of other people? Slave owners.

At the same time, if all NCAA athletes were given a stipend based on need, incidents such as this would be much less likely to occur. These student-athletes put as much time into their sports as the average professional does, and then have to go to class.

So why would you not allow these athletes to receive 10% or 5% of the overall revenue, for an industry which they generate 90% to 95% of the revenue? Easy...there wouldn't be enough money for the NCAA officials. And by enough, I mean what they deem to be enough money. The same reason slave owners and textile mill owners didn't want slavery to be abolished. "You cut out the free labor, our bottom line is going to shrink."

As long as people percieve what the NCAA officials are doing is legitimate, they won't be able to open their eyes and see that this predominate occurance in American society isn't much different than a sweat shop in Indonisia.

You may think I am grasping at straws here, and I am not saying that they are exactly the same. But, the similarities are there. At the very least, I hope you walk away from this realizing what pieces of shit the NCAA officials are that penalize any student-athlete, in any way, when that student-athlete lines the all mighty NCAA officials' pockets. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOO?

P.S. Anymouse...feel free to release this to the AP.

Boise State > most of the field

I know they don't play anybody, and I have cared less and less each year. I'm pulling for Boise State tonight because they're more interesting than Ohio State and Texas. I'm not jumping on any wagon, and I am not asking anybody to do the same. Their level of competition is nothing compared to any of the big conferences, that's no secret, so spare me that argument. Boise State has done their part each of the last couple seasons: win 25 of their last 26 games. They have been given this one and only chance (through their #3 preseason ranking). Now, go and earn it.

Lose: OK. The debate is over.

Win: Uh oh BCS.

Let the Brent Musburger show begin!

"The wait is over."

That's what those d-bags, Hartzell and David Johnston, said over and over this morning on the Ref. "Go to Chic fil A and tell 'em, 'the wait is over', and they'll give you a free chicken biscuit." So I made a little detour on my way outta Athens this morning. Well, lost in the shuffle of: Johnston harping on Boise State's weak schedule, Hartzell mentioning soccer on the top 5 days of the year, and the girl at Chic fil A saying "my pleasure" 10 times in a 1 minute drive thru experiences, I received no free anything because only one Chic fil A was doing that whole giveaway in the first place, and I wasn't at it (was that a run-on sentence?). Thanks douches.

All of my readers are playing saying, "Enough already, quit with all your made up stories." Shut up, the wait is over. College football is back, babies. There's a huge slate of games tonight featuring teams like: USC (Ric's), USC (formally Ric's?), and Utah. What else can I say? I couldn't care less about any of these teams, but that doesn't matter. Tonight is just a sign of things to come, and this season is going to interesting on many fronts. But, those other fronts not called Georgia will have to wait for another post.

Always knew CMR had a sense of humor

UGA has a new QB, D, and tailgating rules. Things are looking up. But wait, you're telling me this QB is an upgrade from last year? This D, on paper, is supposed to get after the football? And that stuff about tailgating wasn't true?! Well, two out of three ain't all bad, and life after Prince Miller and Bryan Evans does go on. Saturday will show us what this team is capable of, but hopefully not all of what they are capable of. Don't peak too early Georgia. Reports have been swirling that, since his arrest/suspension, Washaun Ealey has lost the 2 kids he ate during the off season...so that's good. And, Caleb King has successfully read blitzing defenders off the edge in scrimmages as well as children's stories after practice. It's gonna be a good season.

Throw it to him. He's good.

Topics for upcoming posts:

- The government is giving away money! I'm going to bet with it.
- Boise State will play in the Nat'l Title...just ask Jesse. That rose is waiting for the Broncos.
- Erin Andrews gets what she wants (i.e. Dance Contests, Gordon Beckham, and the all new first hour of Gameday)

Topics for possible future posts:

- Dawgs are rolling, and I told you so.
- Dawgs are terrible, and I told you so.
- Lane Kiffin back to the Raiders?!
- Hey Jimmy Johnson: Let's go back to NOLA!

No Title

And the Video of the Year goes to...



This is not work safe, but it is pretty funny. Who knew Wendy was such a hooker? I'm sure Dave Thomas is turning over in his grave.

"Texts From Last Night"

(912):

"Destiny's braces"

Now, I'm not too sure who Destiny or Destiny's braces are, but gurl do have some gleamin' ass teeth. I wanted so bad to respond to this obvious case of a "owweee shoot, I got da wrong number" text, but I did not. I'm sure her mother would have informed me that Destiny's teeth been had been messed up for a minute.

Go 'head Destiny. Go 'head gurl.

Back to Work 2.0: Weazle Edition

Somethings I have realized in the last two days of work:

- I am really not good at making bulletin boards. Last year, I inherited a room that already had them...and making them is not fun. You have to cut out each letter then laminate them. I have taken bulletin boards for granted my entire life.

- Waking up at 6:15 is for the birds.

- Getting done with work at 3:15 is pretty rad though

-This year I have off March 17th and 18th..."pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty good"- Larry David

- Last year was entirely too easy of a year to have as a "first year of teaching"...this year is going to make up for it.

-My new home, alias, The BungerDome, is gonna be ready for me to move in on September 15th and I can't wait. I am currently taking applications for tennants. Buzz Troughton has already put in a verbal offer. We shall see. Could be a really good time. Midtown is shaping up to become the Tybee Island from the begining of the millenium...the place to be.

- Road trips I am looking forward to this fall: The Felice Brothers in Atlanta on 11/6 and the Georgia game in Ric's town.

- I can't wait for next summer...only 186 work days to go.

Back to work

The song has nothing to do with the following. With one week of school under my belt, the fun police have officially taken away my summer. Yeah, I worked about 9 to 10 hrs M-F over the summer, but I would do that for free for 8 more weeks than sit through Applied Neuroscience and Womens Health Issues. One of my text books is entitled Beyond Kegels. Should be informative and fun, right?

Best Brunswick memory: Redneck Sundae; Allan's BBQ in Brunswick knows that every budding, on the go businessman needs their pork, cole slaw, and baked beans in one large styrofoam cup. Forget ice cream and cake. Give me pig, cabbage, and beans...and layer them for aesthetics.

Worst Brunswick memory: The radio and feet.

- Vic Mell/Walsh Tourney was awful. I feel certain that I don't fly out of that cart if Jack and I are having a better time. Let me play at Mary Calder and give me more beer.
- Really funny show.
- Avett Bros in Atl sounds nice.
- Lee = Glaus at the plate; The only difference is the area of the body that they each hurt.
- Remember these dates: 9/16 and 9/26
- Terry Reid's Superlungs was a good find on iTunes.
- Bunger, how's the crib?
- Anybody doing fantasy fb?

High Five BP

Congrats on all your hard work. Admit it, you learned a lot from Zack Morris and friends at Bayside High....

There Could Be a New Turtle in This Race

I said everything I wanted to say in the title.

Bill still wants things done his way.

Thanks to yahoo.com and some free time this morning, I can share with you what Bill Clinton wants to accomplish before he "kicks the bucket". Get excited. Okay, you don't have to look at that stuff or get excited 'cause it's nothing in comparison to what he's accomplished thus far:

- Married a wonderful woman
- Brain in the Oval Office
- Convincing the public that someone from Arkansas can do anything
- Being really good at the saxophone
- Building the first ever library in Arkansas

Escobar: He gone.

Frank Wren and Company weren't screwing around. The Braves have always brushed there issues with Yunel Escobar under the mat, but today they'd had enough. Yunel has been sent to Canada along with JoJo Reyes. The Braves get longtime solid SS in Alex Gonzalez and 2 minor league players.

I, like most Braves fans, have always been amazed by Escobar's talent. We've all been waiting for that "ah hah" moment. The time where everything kinda clicks, and he becomes a complete player. That moment will have to take place while wearing a Blue Jays uni. I'm not sure how I feel about this trade, except the happiness felt knowing JoJo Reyes won't pitch in a Braves uni anymore. It's obvious that YE has issues way beyond just hitting and fielding, and I certainly don't blame Atl for wanting to rid themselves of any headaches, but man, what if? But I guess that's all we were ever waiting though, the what ifs for Escobar.


First Half thoughts:

- Every time I hear Chip Caray speak I think, boy I miss Pete and Skip.
- Some guys just know how to hit the ball, and Matt Diaz and Prado are 2 of them.
- Is it me or does it seem like every time Derek Lowe take the mound, he seems like he's trying to fish around for something that's not there? I know he's not giving up a ton of runs, but he's getting a ton of run supprt in his wins.
- Talk of a new bat in LF and Gary Sheffield in the same sentence makes me cringe.


Second Half hopes:

- Hang in there, Chipper and Troy.
- Change your mind Billy Wagner.
- No more sliding from Jason Heyward.
- 4 man rotation: Hudson, Jurrjens, Hanson, Medlen.
- Nate McLouth will be just fine in the second half. If guys like him and Melky do ANYTHING, the Braves will in pretty good shape.
- More bobble head nights

The Freakin' Weekend

It's 1pm on Friday. I've got a full belly (thanks to Barberito's), 3 patients to go, and nothing but the weekend on my mind. We listen to a really awful radio station at work from time to time, and Friday afternoon happened to be my lucky day. Here are the songs that really stuck out during each hour of treatment:

Patient #1 is an enormous lady, and her "rotary cup is dang near torn to all get out." Sounds pretty bad lady. Not as bad as this jam:



Shut up, Travie. Right now, I just want you to stop it "soo fucking baaadddd."

Here comes patient #2, and she is turrible. Everything hurts. Everything will continue to hurt as long as Workers Comp is flippin the bill that is. Hey ohhh. Can the afternoon get any worse? Yes it can and did...



It's that damn radio again. Enter in complete misery. I hear some girl in the background say, "She performed this on The Today Show, and I thought it would be much better than it was." It had me fooled too. Somehow I fight through the pain and the desire to mash the radio in.

By 3 o'clock, I'm certain that I've blacked out to make it thus far. I have a chicken burrito sitting in my stomach that wants out, and someone asking me to take a look at a blister that's been bothering them on their foot. But wait, there's hope! Thanks, Miley!



She told me come off that ledge and put my hands up. It's gonna be a great weekend.

Nice Tribute

You may not know this now, but you all know this guy...



He's single and ready to mingle.

Top Weekend + a Monday!?

Boy, this blogging shit sure is tough when your parents are stuck in the Dark Ages. Apparently, there's no need for the Internet when your parents don't even know how to operate a computer. Enough of this bull! It was the freakin weekend, and we done had us some fun.

Friday - Rest up; I had a Manhattan in honor of Bunger, and I watched True Blood. Watching True Blood can be in honor of him too, I guess.

Saturday - There's a sand storm on Tybee. It was not pleasant, and neither were the prices at Marlin Monroe's. A case of beer later, and I somehow forget about that stuff. Some place called "Social" is now going to try to compete with Blimpie and Sting Ray's. Come on. "Social" has tacos... just tacos. But, they are pretty good. Best part -- giant Red Stripe beers for $2.

So, the new thing to do on Tybee is yell "don't tase me" to the cops. While strolling around, I heard that a handful of times. It sure beats Rincon and Richmond Hill people doing whatever you call it...being themselves. I guess the TPD taser thing is big news, but it was probably some kid just being a retard. Wait, he is legit? Lighten up everybody...just having some fun.

The fireworks were meh. Benny's was awesome. Dolphin Reef was literally a breath of fresh air. And I’m left thinking ‘what could have been’ if I would’ve made it in to Tybee Time. All I wanted was some booty sweat, a Hurricane, and a fist pound from that DJ everybody's talking about. TT wasn’t in the cards thanks to slurred speech and refusing a stamp on my hand. That’s about all I remembered when I woke up in the front seat of my car in Andrew’s drive way.

Sunday - Starts with a 6:30 am departure from Tybee. Half of a McDonald’s biscuit got in my mouth, and the other half was scattered around the front of my car. I think I may have fallen asleep at the wheel at least once, but my sunglasses were on, so don’t worry no one could tell my eyes were closed. I slept some more, and then I woke up for round 2 on Wilmington. Lots of beer and low country boil all day. Kayaking drunk isn’t the best idea, but then again that’s what they say about not wearing sunscreen too. The Rockwell fireworks display was similar to Tybee’s, and we still managed to spend less money. Night swimming is awesome, but don’t forget your life preserver. They're not just seat cushions after all!

Sunday - Absolutely nothing.

Not only was this weekend great, it was also pretty damn funny…

- Joey Chestnut ate real good on Sunday, and then talked some noise about that Chinese eater-son (who didn’t compete). Kobeyashi (the Chinese eater-son) then runs on stage and starts acting like a fool-son. He gets arrested.

- Damon Evans resigns. I find this humorous for a couple of reason: 1) Black men will give up everything for a white woman. 2) You can put now Evans in the same category as BG.

- It’s nice to see that Jamarcus Russell isn’t sweating the small stuff. Yeah, he was cut by the Raiders, but he’s rich bitch and still sippin’ on dat sizzurp.